


An Experiment

by orphan_account



Category: Free!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Blow Jobs, Drinking, EVENTUAL TALK OF:, Finger Sucking, Fluff and Smut, Frottage, M/M, Masturbation, Mild Attack on Titan Crossover, Older!Nagisa, Past Abuse, Past Drug Addiction, Past Rape/Non-con, Psychology Students, Rare Pairings, Slow Build, Younger!Haru
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-20
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-05-02 14:01:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 74,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5250800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haru is a cranky undergraduate and Nagisa has...matured. In a few ways.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fanfiction and my first time ever writing dialogue. I noticed that there were very little fics pertaining to my favorite Free! pairing, so I furiously started typing my own. It's still a work in progress so I will be adding/editing chapters as I come up with new shit to write, but I just wanted to post the first chapter to get a little feedback from you lovely people. If you find an error or something, please feel free to bring it to my attention!
> 
> Slow build ahead, but I promise to make good on the "explicit" rating--

“Do you ever consider crashing your car so you don’t have to go to class?”

“No, but then again I wasn’t stupid enough to take a class called ‘Marriage and Family’.” Makoto said to his dark haired friend.

Haru sighed and thumped his forehead down on one of the large wooden desks in the psychology lab. He was tired, and he was annoyed. He was always annoyed. He was tired, annoyed, and he was tragically bored.

“How do you do it?” Haru asked, peering sideways at his friend through his disheveled bangs.

“Do what?”

“Nothing. Never mind,” he mumbled in response to Makoto’s clear disinterest in his existential crisis. Haru watched the brown-haired male rifle through his backpack for his laptop charger, which he knew Makoto had left in the living room in the apartment that they shared. _Serves him right,_ he thought sourly. Blinking, Haru picked his head up and reached for his own backpack at his feet. He should probably work on something if he wanted to maintain the façade of being the model student. Well, if he really _was_ at the top of his class, it wasn’t really a façade, right? Whatever. Who cares.

“Shit,” Makoto sighed, “I left my charger at home. Can I borrow your car?”

“What’s wrong with yours?” Haru snapped.

“I forgot to put gas in it this morning and I don’t feel like stopping now and wasting more time.” The taller male replied, unfazed by his friend’s surly attitude. “Please? I’ll buy you coffee tomorrow.”

“Fine.” Haru dramatically snatched his keys from the desk and handed them to a grinning Makoto, “Dark roast, three creams.”

“I know I know, thanks!”

Alone in the psych lab, Haru sighed again.

* * *

 

“NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP, NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN”

Haru’s head snapped up from the computer screen and he shot the world’s most powerful glare in the direction of the sudden, unwelcomed cacophony. A small blond boy, clearly oblivious to Haru’s death stare—actually oblivious to Haru entirely—playfully kicked the door shut and busied himself with the removal of his blue jacket and bright yellow scarf in the corner of the lab.

 _I hate you._ The irked male thought. _Who the fuck are you anyway? What are you, 14? How did you even get in here?_

As Haru internally berated the intruder, the little fuck continued to hum noisily while practically dumping the contents of his messenger bag onto the floor. Pens and highlighters clattered to the ground as he yanked a neon pink notebook out of one of the pockets; Haru saw a black and white object bounce under one of the desks; an apparently precious object because the boy yelped before falling to his knees to search for it anxiously. Still unnoticed, Haru began to feel less scathing hatred and more mild amusement as he watched the strange young male peek under a (wrong) desk against the opposite wall. He looked very childlike perched on all fours with his butt in the air as he struggled to reach his thin arm far enough under the desk to feel around for his toy. Haru raised an eyebrow when the boy stood up with an exasperated huff, staring at the offensive piece of furniture and making physical preparations to attempt to move the heavy computer desk; he couldn’t decide if he wanted to witness the inevitably hilarious show that would take place when the tiny blond tried to move something at least three times heavier than him, or if he should help him out a little…

“It went und----“

“AHH FUCK!” The boy screamed in a slightly deeper voice than Haru expected. He tensed up and clutched his chest as he whipped his head around, wild eyes falling on the black haired student sitting about 10 feet from him who still had his hands poised above a keyboard. “What—um, sorry—what? You scared the shit out of me. I didn’t expect anyone to be in here.”   

“Obviously,” replied Haru, annoyance creeping into his voice, “do you always enter empty rooms like that?”

“ _Obviously_ not, since the room wasn’t _empty_.” The boy said, mocking Haru’s tone and still breathing hard.

Haru removed his hands from the keyboard and swiveled in his chair to regard the blond properly.

_Who the fuck do you think you are, you little cunt._

Okay, so he can’t say that to a stranger, no matter how irritating said stranger was. Besides, it wasn’t the boy’s fault that Haru was in the midst of a bout of aggressive self-loathing. However, it was his fault that his flow of ideas had been viciously interrupted. So. Fuck him.

“I’m sorry, but who are you? Do you even go here?” Haru asked bitingly. To his surprise, the blond suddenly beamed at him with genuine warmth.

“Oh! I’m Nagisa, and sorry for bothering you, I really didn’t expect anyone to be in here this time of day…and yeah, I go here. I’m—“

“Wait. This time of day? What time is it?” Haru looked around, panicked. Grabbing his cellphone he realized that he had 6 missed calls and just as many texts, all from Makoto. It was 7pm—he had been in the lab for four hours, and he somehow never realized that Makoto hadn’t returned. He had also missed his last class.

Groaning, he scrolled through his texts:

 

3:38pm MAKO: PICK UP YOUR PHONE!

3:40pm MAKO: Don’t panic, but your car is being towed to Rei’s garage. I don’t know what happened

3:40pm MAKO: I mean I know what happened, some kid backed into it outside the apt

3:48pm MAKO: he’s going to pay for it but the tire hole…wheel hole? IDK the place where the tire goes is all effed up so it doesn’t look drivable RN. I’m sorry :(

3:48pm MAKO: I’ll buy you coffee for a year please don’t hate me

4:29pm MAKO: please call me when you get this.

4:29pm MAKO: I’m so sorry!

 

Haru rested his head on his arms on the desk. “Fuck,” he grumbled. He raised his head to type a response:

 

7:06pm HARU: fantastic. I don’t hate you. Not your fault. I’m taking you up on your offer though. I’ll see you later.

7:07pm MAKO: Let me know if you need a ride home. Kisumi brought me to my car.

7:07pm: HARU: thanks.

 

The now-carless-student put his head back down on the desk, momentarily ignoring his new acquaintance, who had since wandered closer with a look of concerned intrigue.

“Um…are you okay?” Nagisa said quietly.

Haru lifted his head to rest his chin on his hand and narrowed his eyes at the curious boy, “Fan-fucking-tastic,” he muttered, “my best friend just wrecked my car.” He leaned back in his chair and rubbed his tired blue eyes.

“Oh my god! Is he hurt?” the boy asked, clearly not the best at reading nonverbal cues.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. He’s dead. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a paper to write or something.” And with that, he put his head back down on the desk, silently begging to be left alone. 

“Okay,” Nagisa giggled, “well do you need a ride home or anything? I don’t really have anything to work on, I just came in to get my TA notes that I left in the printer earlier.”

Rolling both his eyes and head to the side to look at the other male, Haru was ready to snap at him again, until he realized what the small boy had just said. His eyes widened and he abruptly sat up.

“TA? You’re a TA? You mean…are you a graduate student?”  

 “Yeah!” Nagisa giggled again, “you seem surprised.”

 “Well yeah…I um, kind of thought you were in high school… or something…You’re…” Haru nervously trailed off, not sure how to address this boy—er, man who he had just been so blatantly and needlessly rude to.

“I’m what? Short? Adorable?”

“Yeah. I MEAN, um, you’re short. And just really young looking. I never would have guessed.” Suddenly flustered, Haru averted his gaze and swiveled to face his computer screen.

Nagisa giggled again. _He giggled,_ Haru thought to himself, _the man giggles like a school girl._

“So what are you?” the giggling graduate student inquired as he kneeled in the computer chair next to Haru, gripping the back and slowly spinning himself around.

 _Busy,_ he thought, _I’m busy._

“I mean,” _spin_ “I know you’re a psychology student,” _spin_ “or else you wouldn’t be in here” _spin_ “what year are you? What’s your name?”

“Yeah I’m a psych student. A senior. My name is Haru.” He answered to the computer screen.

“Haaaruu,” nagisa said as he spun the chair once more. “It’s nice to meet you, Haru-chan” he said, sticking his hand out in a formal greeting.

Haru’s gaze flicked from the computer screen to the blond’s outstretched hand and to his cheerful face; he hesitated before taking the warm hand in his, “Haru- _chan?_ Really?”

“Yep! Seems fitting. So what are you working on Haru-chan?” he added as he withdrew his hand. He leaned his chin onto the back of the chair to stare expectantly at the dark haired male.

“Uh. It’s um.. a proposal.” Haru tore his eyes from Nagisa’s energetic face, _this guy’s level of eye contact is too much,_ “I’m proposing a study to investigate the conversion of glutamate to GABA by way of an increase of glutamic acid decarboxylase. It’s um..been difficult to find a practical method to test my hypothesis” he admitted dryly to the keyboard.

 “I see,” the blond replied after a pause, “I’m a social psych guy, so I don’t know much about neurotransmitters or…whatever that acid thing is, but I could help you with your methods sometime if you want.”

Haru raised his eyebrows and looked over at the shorter male, who had begun wiggling back and forth in the chair again, _He looks like a puppy,_ he thought, trying not to acknowledge how terribly self-conscious he was beginning to feel under Nagisa’s intense stare. He had no choice but to notice the unusual coloring of his large eyes, which seemed to bore holes into Haru’s soul.

 _Is this guy wearing pink contacts?_   “Um, yeah, that would—“

 “Great!” Nagisa launched himself at Haru’s computer screen, “what do you have so far? Can I see?”

“I didn’t mean now!” Haru cried at his companion’s unexpected enthusiasm.

“Oh it’s fine I don’t mind” the blond replied merrily as he leaned towards the screen, pressing his shoulder against the shocked student. Nagisa reached over the desk to grab the mouse, but Haru was not having it.

“Hey!” he said, a little too loudly, as he tried to snatch the mouse away from the meddlesome male, “Can you not!?” Haru’s hand closed around Nagisa’s small wrist to keep him from scrolling up to the top of the document. Shocked by his own sudden reaction, Haru quickly released the blond, who had stilled.

“I’m…I’m not ready to have anyone look at it yet..” he said more quietly, a blush creeping up his cheeks at the closeness of the other, who was again examining Haru’s face and practically sitting in his lap.

 _Has he ever heard of personal space? Jesus._ “I still need to fix some things,” he said, glancing at Nagisa’s arm, which was still stretched across the desk. Haru awkwardly rolled his chair back to gain some distance from the man, who he realized smelled very pleasantly of fabric softener and--

“Ah, sorry Haru-chan. I didn’t mean to be nosy.” He said, straightening up. “But please let me know if you need any help.”

“Yeah, sure. Thanks.” Haru said, sounding slightly more irritated than he meant to. Nagisa was still looking at him and smiling, as though he expected him to continue speaking. _Oh my god, what?_ He thought.

“What?” he asked.

“Do you want my number?”

Haru blanched, “um what?” he said, crinkling his eyebrows. “Why?”

“How else would you ask for my help?” Nagisa laughed warmly. “Never mind, I don’t want to pressure you, I’m sure you will do just fine without me. I hope I get to read the findings of your study one day. When you’re a famous researcher I’ll get to tell people that I met you once and you almost made me piss myself!” He laughed again as he walked over to the printer to retrieve his TA notes. Haru watched his back as he flipped through the print outs, humming to himself. Nagisa smiled at the undergrad as shoved the papers into his pink notebook before bending down to retrieve the items he had abandoned on the floor.

Grabbing his coat and scarf, the blond smiled once more at Haru before turning to open the door.

“It was very nice meeting you, Haru-chan.”

“You too.” Haru said, though it sort of came out as more of a question than a statement. He blinked a few times after the door had closed.

With a sudden realization, he stood up and walked over to one of the desks on the other side of the room. He got down on his hands and knees and slid his hand into the dark space between the wood and the carpet; he immediately closed his hand around a small rubber object and smirked to himself. _What the fuck. What a weirdo_. He thought as he looked at the penguin shaped eraser in his hand.

Quickly crossing the room, he opened the door and shouted down the hallway.

“Hey wait!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I make mention of an actual study conducted by Clark & Hatfield in 1989, which I have absolutely nothing to do with. I'm using the title in a fictional manner, but here is the citation just to cover my ass (Clark, R. D. & Hatfield, E. (1989). Gender differences in receptivity to sexual offers. /Journal of Psychology & Human Sexuality, Vol. 2/(1), 39-55.) 
> 
> Oh, and I don't own the characters. Obviously.
> 
> Oh god, the awkward...

“I’m sorry for being rude before, I’ve just been having a rough day…er, a rough couple of weeks? Months? I’m just sorry.” Haru sighed. The graduate student had heard Haru shout and came back to retrieve the trinket he had left behind. Feeling slightly less irritated, Haru decided he should at least apologize for his shitty behavior.

“It’s okay, I’ve been there before. You’re just stressed out.” The understanding man replied with his usual smile.

“Yeah, well, I still feel bad.” Insisted Haru, leaning against the wall,“you seem like a really nice guy…and…I would really appreciate it if you would be willing to help me sometime..just not right now.”

“Of course! I offered, didn’t I? I don’t just go around offering my precious time to just anyone, you know.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Haru said raising an eyebrow.

“Don’t look so suspicious. I’m just saying I would be more than happy to help a fellow overworked student…especially one who is experiencing vehicular difficulties.” He added sympathetically.

_Oh fuck._

The strange blond’s antics had helped him forget that Makoto had all-but momentarily ruined his life, but now the sinking feeling of automobile-related dread came flooding back. Haru buried his face in his hands.

“I forgot about that.” He said, completely drained. He slid down the wall and sat on the floor in misery.

“Oh don’t be so dramatic,” Nagisa teased as he sat down next to him, “I’ll give you a ride home if you want.”

Haru peeked at the man’s kind face through his fingers, “How can you offer that when you don’t even know where I live?”

“I wasn’t kidding earlier when I said I didn’t have any work to do. I don’t really have anything to do for a couple days. You could be my entertainment for the evening!” the male said eagerly, lightly grabbing Haru’s bicep.

Haru glanced uncomfortably at the hand on his arm, “Your entertainment? I…actually don’t live that far away…I was just saying—“

“Then come get coffee with me! Have you eaten? I was just about to get dinner!” His eyes glittered as he got up on his knees excitedly, squeezing Haru’s arm more tightly. “Come on, please? You owe me for being a douche before.”

“Ah..” the dark haired student started, _doesn’t this guy have friends? A girlfriend? …okay that’s not likely. A boyfriend then? He seems friendly enough to be in some kind of relationship. And…_ ”You smell really good.” The unwelcomed words leaked out of Haru’s mouth in a mumbled whisper; horrified, he felt the prickle of a violent blush envelop his face.

“Thank you! Now let’s go,” the blond insisted, seemingly unaware of Haru’s mortification. “You look like you’re on the verge of death. You need some coffee in you. You like coffee, right?”

Nagisa stood and tugged Haru to his feet by his sleeve. “Okay fine, Jesus. Hold on, let me get my stuff.”

“Yay!” Nagisa clapped his hands together playfully; Haru couldn’t help but imagine his tail wagging. He staggered a bit as he stood, realizing how physically exhausted he truly felt.

* * *

Once outside, Haru stood for a moment enjoying the mid-fall breeze, allowing the fresh air to graze his tired skin and rustle his dark hair.

“Haru-chaaan, come oooon. I’m cold.” Nagisa whined.

“Then put your coat on!” Haru griped, eyeing the garment slung over the blond’s arm.

“But then I’ll be too hoooot.  Come on come on!”

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re pushy?

“Would you believe me if I said no?” Haru rolled his eyes and quickly caught up to the whiny graduate student. “Where are we going?”

“To my car, which is….um…over there?” he said less-than-confidently, pointing aimlessly at the dark parking lot.

“I assumed we were going to your car, ass, I mean where are we going for the coffee you insisted that I need.”

“Some place around the corner. I don’t know the name of it, but they make good coffee and the lighting is nice.”

“The lighting is nice? What do you mean?”

“Um… I don’t know. I’m so cooold.” Nagisa whined again. Haru noticed him creeping closer as they walked towards the parking lot. _Does he want me to put my arm around him or something? What’s with this guy?_ Before he could wonder further, the blond grabbed his arm tightly and held it to his chest. “Mmmm you’re warm Haru-chan.”

The sudden contact made Haru’s pulse quicken, and he instinctively stepped away from the shorter male. “You, uh,” he said nervously, “here.” He grabbed Nagisa’s coat off his arm and wrapped it haphazardly around his slim shoulders, “Better?”

“I guess so.” Nagisa grumbled.

Curiosity and awkward agitation finally got the best of Haru, “How old are you exactly?” he asked, somewhat indignantly.

“Twenty-six,” the blond answered while slipping his hand into his pocket to retrieve his keys, “Found my car!” he announced, tail lights flashing as he pushed the unlock button.

“Damn..” Haru whispered.

“What’s wrong?” the blond asked, concerned.

“Well...and no offense, you look like you’re…not twenty-six. And you act…not twenty-six…”

Nagisa giggled, “How should I act, then? How do twenty-six year-olds act?”

“I…guess I don’t know. Sorry.” Haru replied, praying that the darkness of the parking lot hid his uninvited embarrassment.

“Let me guess, you’re…twenty-one.” The man stated matter-of-factly as they approached a black Volkswagen Passat.

Haru knew it wasn’t that difficult to guess his age; most traditional college seniors were either twenty-one or twenty-two. “Yeah. I just meant that you’re just not like the other graduate students I’ve known.”

“Sorry to disappoint you,” Nagisa smirked while opening the driver-side door.

 _What the fuck am I doing?_ The younger student asked himself as he slid into the passenger seat. _I just met this guy. All I want is to go home and go to bed._

“You’re definitely not what I would call a disappointment.” He said glancing sideways at the blond as he started the car. Again, troubling words were sliding unbidden past Haru’s tongue. His eyes widened and he quickly looked away, flustered, “I mean, I just met you” he sputtered, “It’s not like I had any expectations.” _You’re making it worse._ “That’s not what I meant either, I just… you seem nice.” He finished quietly, his gaze trained on his fidgeting fingers.

“Haru-chan,” the older man whispered, leaning over slightly to encourage the his embarrassed passenger to look at him, “You seem nice too. And calm the fuck down.” He punctuated his words with an amused grin.

“Yeah, sorry.” Haru replied, smiling privately to himself as Nagisa pulled out of the parking space.

_I guess I’m not bored, at least._

* * *

The students sat across from each other at a small booth in the café—Haru with his coffee, and Nagisa with his cup of what looked to be whipped cream with chocolate sprinkles.

“So what are you working on right now? In your program, I mean. In school.” Haru inquired after tasting his coffee. It wasn’t bad.

“A study on goal-driven resource distribution.”

“That sounds…” Haru began.

“Boring?” the blond giggled, waving his spoon dismissively, “yeah, it is. We are pretty much forced to do our mentor’s research. Seeing your name in a published journal article is pretty neat, though.”  

“You’ve been published!” Haru choked on his coffee, suddenly stricken with admiration, “Anything I would know?”

Nagisa rested his chin on his hand, spooning some of the white cream into his mouth while he thought. “Probably not, you seem to be more neurobiologically oriented. Have you read ‘Gender differences in receptivity to sexual offers.’” he raised an eyebrow as slid his tongue along the edge of his spoon.

“Can’t…say that I have.” Haru averted his eyes from Nagisa’s face, wondering if he was being intentionally suggestive. _Is he…_ “I couldn’t care less about social psychology,” Haru blurted, _shit,_ “ah, crap, I didn’t mean it like that. Sorry, I just mean that I am not interested in studying people….like that. I just can’t make myself care about those types of things. Like, social relationships… I’m not that great with people…like, face to face. I get annoyed easily. I probably wouldn’t do well in that field.” He sipped his coffee and stared unseeing into the darkness beyond the window. _I’m such a dick._

“Actually,” the blond started, obviously unphased, “a lot of my colleagues are autistic lunatics who can’t make eye contact or carry on a normal conversation. You’d like them.” He said with a wink.

“What..hey! And what is that supposed to mean!” The student asserted, placing his hand on his chest in mock offense. He was beginning to feel slightly less drowsy, and he was actually enjoying talking with this strange, overly friendly man-child.

“Nothing Haru- _chan_ ,” replied the older male, smirking and licking whipped cream off his fingers.

Haru’s gaze settled on Nagisa’s pouty lips as he licked them clean. He was a rather attractive man, even if he didn’t possess any traditional masculine qualities. Women would murder their children for his long eyelashes and perfect cheekbones, and he was elegantly slender, his movements subtly reminiscent of a dancer. His delicate collar bones added a touch of sensuality to the casual baseball-styled t-shirt he wore, which seemed to have been tailored specifically to accentuate the graceful curvature of his neck and shoulders. His hair held a certain incandescent quality under the dim lights of the café. It looked like it would be light and silky to the touch, yet it hung loose and endearingly unkempt over his forehead, with pieces framing the soft features of his face. His eyes were still a mystery to Haru, who couldn’t figure out if he was in fact wearing contact lenses or if he had just never been exposed to this particular color before. It wasn’t like he made a point to gaze into strangers’ eyes on a regular basis. He actually went out of his way to _not_ look people in the eyes. Either way, the graduate student’s eyes glittered beautifully under the soft lighting.

 _He was right about this place having good lighting. But what a weird thing to say._   

Haru never really had a firm grasp on his own sexuality. He dated a few girls in high school, mostly to get Makoto off his back, but they ended things when it became clear that he wasn’t emotionally invested. And speaking of Makoto, there was that one night last summer outside a bar when they found themselves drunkenly sobbing and clinging to each other, swearing tearfully to remain best friends forever; Haru may or may not have backed Makoto against the wall, and he may or may not have pressed himself against his taller friend, leaning up to sloppily make out with the brunet in an erroneous attempt to express his fraternal affection. It wasn’t until Makoto emitted an embarrassingly loud and needy moan in response to their hips grinding together that the reality of the situation snapped them out of the reverie of their rather public display. Or maybe it was Makoto’s girlfriend shrieking and running away crying? The memory was hazy…Of course, then there was his first year of college when he was seduced by his cognitive psychology professor, a beautiful, brilliant graduate student with steely grey eyes, a deliciously athletic physique, and a tongue that—

“Haru-chan, are you alright?”

Haru blinked dumbly, realizing he had been staring at Nagisa’s mouth. “Uh yeah, sorry. I was just remembering something.” He mumbled before draining the last drops of coffee from his cup.

“Mmhm, anything interesting?” the blond leaned onto his elbows expectantly.

Haru chewed on his bottom lip nervously. _You did this to yourself, you idiot._ But he was suddenly filled with the pleasant buzz of caffeine-induced confidence—and maybe just a small amount of memory-induced arousal—so he pushed his empty cup aside to lean forward, imitating the smaller male.

“Fucking. Fascinating.” he purred in—what he hoped was—his sexiest voice, intensely holding Nagisa’s gaze.

For a moment it seemed like the perky blond was taken aback at the younger student’s uncharacteristic boldness.His head jerked back minutely and his eyes widened briefly before resuming their usual luster, sparkling with an added hint of mischief. “Oooh, not just fascinating but _fucking_ as well. That sounds like fun, feel like sharing?”

 _I feel like showing._ The thought whipped through Haru’s mind fiercely unanticipated, effectively vaporizing any chance of eloquently continuing his attempt to playfully tease the other man. _Fuck, I really am tired._ He sighed, defeated, and sat back in the booth. “You win.”

“I didn’t realize I was playing.” His expression didn’t change; he didn’t move, “Haru-chan?”

“Hm?” the student answered, suddenly engrossed in the glass sugar caddy at the edge of the table.

“You blush a lot.”

“Yeah. That sounds about right.” He said, flicking a packet of Sweet and Low towards the window.

“So do you want my number or not?” The blond asked, sitting back in his seat with his eyes still trained on Haru’s face.

“Sure. Why not.”

“Good!” the man beamed, “give me your phone.”

Haru frowned a moment before retrieving his cell from his back pocket, unfamiliar with this level of casual intimacy. He handed the phone across the table anyway.

Nagisa snatched the device playfully from Haru’s hand—who tried to pretend that the way their fingers touched briefly didn’t make his skin tingle—and busied himself with entering his number into the student’s contact list. With a satisfied smile, he handed the phone back to the dark haired male, who was trying to be inconspicuous about the fact that he couldn’t suppress the urge to rub his still-tingling fingers.

“I texted myself to make sure I have your number too. Don’t worry, I won’t send you inappropriate photos or anything.”

Haru wondered if their ideas of ‘inappropriate’ aligned at all. He bit his lip to eliminate the possibility of embarrassing himself again.

“So,” Nagisa chirped, leaning forward again, “Did you want to get food, too? They only have things like muffins and cookies here. Which, I mean, is fine with me, but we could go somewhere else if you want.”

“Ah, no that’s okay. I’m not really hungry. I’ll wait while you get something though. You said you were going to get dinner before.”

“What do you think that was?” the grad smiled, pointing to his empty mug.

“I honestly have no idea what that was.”

“Hot chocolate made with heavy cream, topped with whipped cream.”

“Well that…somehow makes a lot of sense.” Haru said laughing.

“I’m glad you know me so well, Haru-chan.” Nagisa winked again, tapping the student’s foot under the table, which Haru suddenly and alarmingly realized had been resting _on top_ of the blond’s own small extremity; he jerked his leg back in shock; his heart rate accelerating.

“Oh!—Ah,  sorry. I um, thought that was the table. I didn’t mean—“

“Haru-chan, seriously. Calm the fuck down.”

_Oh god, what’s wrong with me. I’m never like this. This is ridiculous. I have to get out of here._

“Uh, yeah sorry…I should probably get home. If you still don’t mind taking me, that is…”

“It would be my pleasuurrre,” the man said lowly, drawing out the word ‘pleasure’ in a way Haru knew was meant to tease, “we should leave before you start trying to take my pants off, too.”

 _Oh god._ “Oh god. Yeah. I mean,” _Fuck!_ “No! um, sorry, lets just go. I’m…obviously really tired.”

The shorter man smiled lazily and extracted himself from the booth, stretching his hands above his head and yawning; Haru’s eyes were drawn to the slender waist that peeked out from under the man’s shirt briefly before he brought his arms back down and turned to face the flustered student.

_He totally just did that on purpose. Fuck this guy._

Nagisa turned to leave and Haru followed a pace behind him, wondering how else he was going to make a fool of himself on the drive to his apartment.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What—“ Haru started hoarsely; he cleared his throat, “what are you doing?”
> 
> Shining eyes blinked and Nagisa released the younger male’s hand, “an experiment.”
> 
> *I don't own this shit.*

Haru’s brain was buzzing with caffeine, mental exhaustion, and discomposure. Doing his best to keep the conversation aggravatingly bland in a desperate attempt to steer clear of any potentially embarrassing verbal spasms, he asked Nagisa innocuous questions about his car, how long he’s lived in the area, and he—cringing—even mentioned how unseasonably warm it’s been. They eventually settled into a silence that had Haru glancing anxiously around the car.

“Do you have any music or anything?” he student finally questioned, realizing they still had a few miles left to drive. He couldn’t make any more small talk; it was killing him.

“I do!” the blond answered happily, reaching over Haru to open his glove compartment and extract an iPod. He set it on the younger man’s knee, “play whatever you like! The chord is…uh…oh, never mind, I slammed it in the door yesterday and I forgot to buy a new one. Sorry, Haru-chan.”

 _Sigh_ “It’s fine.” Haru leaned his head against the window to appreciate the coolness of the glass on his temple.

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

“What!” the male jolted at the suddenness of the question, “um, no I don’t.”

“Boyfriend?”

“No…I—I don’t.” _Lord save me._ “uh…why?”

“ Mmh..”The graduate student seemed to consider Haru’s question for a moment, creating an atmosphere that made Haru want to claw his way out the window.

“How do you know Levi?”

“Huh!?” _What the fuck?_ “How…do you know that I know Levi?”

“Your phone, silly.” The man smiled, glancing momentarily from the road to observe his startled passenger. “I saw his name in your contacts when I added mine. His last name is Ackerman, so it was at the top.”

Haru’s mind blanked. “We um. He…I…he was my cognitive psych professor.” He forced out quickly.  

“Uh huh,” Nagisa giggled, “do you have all of your former professors’ phone numbers?”

“So what if I do?” the student snapped.

“Then I would say you’re either really into school, or really slutty, especially if they all look like Levi.”   

The younger male gaped at the driver, burning with a mixture of shock and dread.

“Do you kn--er, excuse me!? What the fuck are you trying to say?”

The blond’s sly smile never faltered, “I don’t know, what do you think I’m trying to say?”

Haru just stared, dumbly, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Oh my god, Haru-chan, relax. I’m just teasing you.” He reached over to squeeze the vexed student’s knee, unconcerned by the noticeable recoil, “There are literally, like, four whole reasons why you might have his number, I didn’t really mean anything by it.”

The passenger visibly exhaled and turned away, rubbing his eyes tiredly, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get so defensive.”

“I know,” replied the blond, placing both hands on the steering wheel. “So you aren’t in a relationship.” He stated. “I guess that means I can’t use you, then.”

“Okay, now what does _that_ mean!” Haru bristled again.

“You really need to work on that defensive attitude of yours, Haru-chan.” Nagisa laughed.

“Maybe _you_ need to work on your...vulgar and suggestive comments!”  _Did I seriously just use the word 'vulgar?' I'm such a tool._

“I don’t think I’m the one framing them suggestively, Haaaaru-chan.”

“I—ugh! What! Okay, seriously, what do you mean you can’t use me?”

“I only meant,” he paused, and flashed the student a grin, “that I wouldn’t be able to use you as a participant. In a study. Is that okay?”

“Oh for fuck’s sake.” Haru slouched in his seat. “You are…exhausting.”

“Want to test that statement?”

 _Jesus fucking Christ. Wait._ “Hey wait, a study? I thought you were working on something about goals and resources…why would my relationship status exclude me from the sample?”

“Oh yeah, that’s my advisor’s research, but I have a few ideas of my own. I’m still in the preliminary stages, though. I turn here, right?”

“Um yeah. So what are your own ideas?” Haru perked up, interested; his heart rate slowing.

Nagisa hummed thoughtfully for a moment; evidently unsure if he should share his intentions with the curious male.

“Never mind,” the student added quickly, “I understand if you’re not ready to talk about it. My apartment is up here on the left. The yellow building”

“Thanks Haru-chan. I’ll definitely tell you about it soon, though. I promise.”

He pulled to the side of the road and brought the car to a smooth stop. Haru opened the door and gathered the backpack at his feet; he glanced sideways at the small blond, who had turned his body in the driver’s seat to watch him exit the car.

“Well,” Haru began, “it was nice to meet you and tha--“

“Haru, wait!” Nagisa gasped, catching the student’s wrist as he leaned to exit the car.

He wordlessly glanced down at the small hand gripping him. “I—“ Haru opened his mouth and closed it again, words escaping him; his brain frozen.  “Yeah…?” he finally whispered, hoping the older male couldn’t detect the waver in his voice, or the fact that his breath hitched when he found himself staring up at the man’s magenta eyes, dark from the dim light of the car. 

The blond stared into Haru’s frozen face, seemingly searching for something in particular; his face fixed with his signature impish smile.

“What—“ Haru started hoarsely; he cleared his throat, “what are you doing?”

Shining eyes blinked and Nagisa released the younger male’s hand, “an experiment.” He beamed, placing his delicate fingers softly back on the steering wheel. “Goodnight Haru-chan.”

 “Um yeah. Thanks for the ride.” Haru managed with a slight scowl, a mix of irritated confusion and...something else impeding his ability to be polite. He stepped out onto the street and forcefully slammed the door without looking back. He heard the car pull away as his long strides took him across the street and to the stoop of his apartment building. It wasn’t until he tried sliding the key into the lock that he acknowledged how violently his hands were shaking; his body high from an accelerated heart rate.

_I shouldn’t have had coffee this late._

He slid the key into the lock and turned it quietly; it was only 10pm, plus it was a Friday, so he knew Makoto would probably be up playing the new Fallout game that his brother bought him for his birthday, but Haru wasn’t in the mood for any more human interaction. Especially interactions involving groveling and militant apologizing.

 _I guess I have to go to Rei’s tomorrow to check the damage._ He thought, lamenting the fate of his car.

He sighed, quietly slipping through the door to the foyer and shutting it behind him. An unexpected silence greeted him as he toed off his shoes and hung up his keys. Relief spread through his chest as he figured that Makoto had gone to bed early, _he probably passed out from the overwhelming guilt. It’s got to be exhausting ruining your friend’s life._ He melodramatically fumed as he tripped over some of what looked to be and item from of his roommate's nearby laundry basket.

_Oh good, he's even trying to kill me._

He padded through the kitchen to the cabinet in search of a bottle of some garbage wine that Rin had left behind last week; he had a fight with his girlfriend—at least what Rin considered to be a fight, Haru wouldn’t label a mild disagreement about curtains as a fight—and begged to spend the night on their couch in exchange for two bottles of pinot noir, which turned into one after Rin decided he needed a glass or 3, and spent the rest of the night sobbing into Makoto’s chest. As much as he enjoyed his emotional friend’s theatrics, right now wished that he had left behind something a bit stronger. Haru didn’t often drink, but after the strange night he had, _I just need something to counter the caffeine,_ he chose to forego a glass and took a large gulp straight from the bottle.

“mhm…st..p”

Haru stilled as a muted sound caught his ears. There was no light shining from the living room, so he didn’t think his roommate was awake, _Maybe he fell asleep on the couch,_ the male concluded, slightly perturbed that he might have to rouse his friend if he wanted to drink his wine in front of some shitty movie on Netflix. Maybe he could sneak by and spend the rest of the night alone in his room, drinking bad wine with his laptop and watching—

“..ah…a”

Another sound emanated from the darkened room, and Haru decided to be a hero and rescue Makoto—who was prone to night terrors—from whatever dream was causing him to moan in his sleep. He sighed again, and paced across the large kitchen to the living room with his bottle in hand and—

A terrified scream tore through the apartment


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Who sleeps with their professors?
> 
> I do. That's who."
> 
>  
> 
> Remember that "explicit" rating? Mhm. Enjoy.

"WHAT THE FUCK HARU!?”

“AH JESUS! SORRY SORRY, SHIT!” Haru slapped his hands over his face, practically hitting himself with the bottle of wine as he ducked back behind the doorway.

“YOU SAID YOU WOULD HAVE TO PICK HIM UP, MAKOTO! WHY IS HE HERE!?”

“I don’t—fuck, get your pants. Haru I’m so sorry!”

“Why are you apologizing to him! He’s the one—“

“Kisumi, oh my god shut up. Put your goddamn pants on!”

“Where the fuck are they!? I don’t think they’re even in here!

“Well where else could they be!? You literally just had them on!”

“It’s not my fault you were a little too excit—“

“Yes it is your fault! You wouldn’t stop touching me!”

Haru leaned against the kitchen wall with his hand clasped firmly over his mouth to muffle the hysterical laughter that threatened to spill past his lips. _I knew it, I fucking knew it_. He thought triumphantly as he listened to the panicked whispers radiating from the other room. A very flustered Makoto dashed into the kitchen, eyes wild and face flushed with embarrassment and dissipating arousal.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry I didn’t expect you to be home.” Makoto sputtered as he tugged his shirt on.

“It’s fine already, stop apologizing.” Answered Haru, with as much indifference as he could muster. He blankly regarded his mortified friend as he took a drink from his bottle. “So how long has this been going on?” he asked, gesturing to the living room, a smirk threatening to shatter his veneer of vague disinterest.

“Umm well…” the taller man blushed deeper and rubbed the back of his neck, “this would have been the first—“

“Whoa, would have been? But,” Haru narrowed his eyes, “you still have…” he tapped at his own bottom lip suggestively.

Makoto’s hand flew to his face in horror, “What! How! I mean—he—I didn’t—I wasn’t—he was the one—um—“

Strangled laughter erupted from Haru as he doubled over, clutching his stomach. Makoto watched his friend literally vibrate with laughter and clutch the wall to steady himself.

“Okay okay stop stop I was kidding,” he forced out before gasping for breath, “I just couldn’t help myself. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your date.” He wiped away a tear and pushed past a still very embarrassed Makoto, “I’ll leave you guys alone. Hey Kisumi,” he greeted the pink haired man who had hurriedly grabbed a blanket to cover himself. “I hope you guys are able to pick up where you left off!” He added, teasingly, crossing the living room to the hallway, “And NO MAKOTO,” he said, anticipating his friend’s words as he tried to chase after him, “we are NOT talking about my car tonight. By the way, Kisumi, your pants are in the foyer.” He added with cackle as he slid into his bedroom and shut the door softly.

* * *

Haru’s laughter almost immediately subsided as he paced the few steps to his bed.

He collapsed face first onto his comforter, his bottle of wine hanging languidly from his fingers off the side of the mattress. He was tired and annoyed, and he cringed internally as he recalled the vivid details of his humiliating evening. He sat up and took a long drink of the foul liquid.

_I better not hear those two fucking._

He reached into his pocket to pull out his phone, blinking rapidly at the bright screen in the darkness. The wine had already begun to work its magic, and Haru noticed a slight out-of-focus quality to his vision as he tapped the ‘contacts’ icon and scrolled through the list of names. He rolled his eyes when he reached the ‘N’s:

<3<3~~~NAGISA~~~<3<3

He tossed the phone aside and lifted the bottle to his lips again; three long sips later, he pulled the bottle from his mouth with a low pop. Licking the remnants off his reddened lips, he turned and set the nearly empty bottle on the hardwood floor.

He sat for a moment and contemplated his options for the remainder of the night, trying to pinpoint his mood now that he had successfully impaired his cognition just enough to where he found some respite from the day’s irregularity. Swaying slightly, he opted to just let the night end and allowed his back to hit the mattress. A thought occurred to him and he collected his phone again, re-opening his contacts. His eyes stilled on the first name on the list:

_Levi Ackerman. I haven’t thought about you in a while._

He tossed his phone away again, wondering why it had been so long since he had heard—or even thought of— the name of the man who had ignited an all-encompassing fervor within him three years ago.

Haru had been obsessed.

Raw, unbridled lust had been a new concept to his 18 year-old virginal self, and he spent what felt like hours reveling in the way a two-word text from the man would blaze fire down his spine and cause his dick to twitch: “ _My office.”_  

The beautiful, fuzzy warmth of the wine radiated through his chest and settled into the core of his abdomen. Haru closed his eyes and enjoyed the rare quiet that enveloped him; his now alcohol-addled mind wandered, and so did his hand, resting above the hem of his jeans that had ridden low as he slid himself up the bed to rest his head on the pillow. He ran his thumb lightly back and forth over the smooth skin on his hip, and he found himself recalling the electric feeling of Nagisa’s warm hand on his own. The _unwelcome_ feeling, of course.

_An experiment. Did that even mean anything? I’m drunk. And how does he even know Levi? Hm, well that’s stupid. They work in the same department, you dick. Ugh, that little shit called me a slut. I haven’t even seen Levi in over a year, and it’s not like I fucked anyone since then…or before. Well, maybe I am a little slutty…I mean, fuck, who sleeps with their professors? Mmmmm…I do. That’s who. Especially when they look like—“_

“Levi..” Haru moaned into the lightless room, sliding his hand down the front of his jeans to gingerly ghost his fingers over the rough fabric; the pressure just faint enough to tease his wine-induced half erection. He slipped his other hand under his t-shirt, imitating the delicate feather light touches he was applying to his clothed member. He actually couldn’t remember the last time he pleasured himself; school had worn on him so severely that he would barely made it into the shower before dropping into bed, too exhausted to even think about his dick, let alone spend the time it would take to come up with a fantasy deserving of the arduous task of inevitable cleanup.

It wasn’t like he was interested in anyone at the moment, either, which just exacerbated the pervasive boredom that had been tormenting him for months. For now, he was determined to enjoy the memories of fervid panting and the urgent groans that would tumble from his professor’s impeccably sensuous mouth as he slid his hardened length into Haru’s needy throat. He palmed his now-full erection through his pants, raising his hips involuntarily in search of more exquisite pressure.

He visualized the manner in which Levi would allow his piercing gaze to linger—just a second too long—on the student during lecture, and how the younger male would intentionally pack his books and writing materials slowly at the end of class, eyeing the man at the front of the room while the other students rushed out.

He popped the button open on his jeans as he recalled the moment when the last students would filter out, and the man would hastily stalk the length of the room before crushing the student’s mouth to his in a desperate hunger.

He lowered his zipper as he remembered Levi’s deft fingers working to first undo his belt, then the button, then his fly to allow him access to Haru’s rapidly swelling arousal. He moaned softly as he gripped himself through his boxer briefs, allowing the memory of the man’s fingers sliding into his wet mouth to spur him on, slipping his hand beneath the fabric to run the pad of his thumb over his wet slit.

He shuddered deliciously as he fought the urge to start stroking himself, instead opting to tease himself further to the thoughts of the wet sounds of a mouth on his cock. He made a loose circle with his fingers and thrust into them, his flesh just barely granting him the friction he greedily sought. Wine and lust swirled delectably through his blood, clouding his thoughts with a thick, smoldering haze while he envisioned an ardent tongue gliding painfully slow over his dripping tip, his fingers tangling into messy blond locks in ecstasy as his length is enveloped by full, sanguine lips.

Finally indulging in the euphoria of the fantasy, he curled his hand completely around his aching hardness, moaning hotly at the pressure and spreading his legs on the bed. His head lolled back onto the pillow as he pumped himself to the thought of pink eyes, heavy-lidded and black with lust, gazing up into his own desperate face; small, delicate hands, one gripping his thigh, the other wandering down between the owner’s slender legs to relieve his own burgeoning need, rocking his hips into his palm as he moaned around the throbbing cock in his mouth.

Haru thumbed the moisture at his florid tip and spread it hastily down the side of his erection, desperate to simulate the feeling of a slick tongue coaxing him to his peak. He rolled his hips up into his hand, quickening the pace of his strokes as he felt an urgent tension rippling at the base of his cock. He imagined his length sliding out of a watering mouth with an obscene pop, a lithe figure crawling up his body to straddle his waist, heavy, lust-blown eyes locking with his own before swollen lips breathe humidly—desperately—into his ear, “ _please, Haru-chan.”_

Dizzy with want, he moaned loudly as he came—hot white ribbons painting his fingers and abdomen as he slung his arm over his mouth to muffle the cry begging to spill past his lips. His orgasm came in waves and shuddering gasps; his hips stuttering off the bed as he gripped his pulsing cock, still releasing hot beads of semen which melted like pearls on his stomach.

He rode out the last waves of his dissipating pleasure and finally stilled, removing his sticky fingers from his spent cock. After enjoying a few deep, stabilizing breaths, he reached through the dark to grope at his nightstand for his tissues. As his alcohol-hampered hand knocked the box to the floor, he wearily propped himself up on his elbows and cast a look of irritation towards the floor.

“Goddammit.” He mumbled to the empty room and flopped back onto the pillow in frustration.

 _God-_ damn- _it._


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Did you suck his dick already?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to post this now because the next part might take me a VERY long time to write.
> 
> Some characters are introduced here, and we find out a little more about Haru.
> 
> This pretty much just serves to set up things to come.

“You’re not going to cry again are you?”

“That depends, are you going to be a twat this entire time? What did you even do last night?”

“I drank that shitty wine of yours. Can I turn this off?”

“No!” Rin smacked his friend’s hand away from the radio, “What’s wrong with John Williams?”

“Nothing, but my brain is bleeding. Thanks for giving me a ride, by the way.”

“Sure. I haven’t seen Rei in a while anyway. How much did you drink, exactly?”

“Not much.” Haru wasn’t going to mention how he had kicked the bottle over in a panic after waking up to find he had fallen asleep still in his clothes, his body a filthy mess and his head pounding.

“’Not much’ made you like…this?” the redhead gestured to Haru slumped against the window.

“Mmm.”

“Oh my god come on, get up. You’re so dramatic.”

“I’m not being dramatic. I just have a headache.”

Rin rolled his eyes, “you are seriously the biggest baby I know.”

“Says the grown man who cried during _Jurassic World._ ”

“Hey! That movie held a lot of nostalgic value for me!” the offended redhead barked.

“Such a pussy.”

“You are what you eat. Speaking of which, _dick,_ ” Haru shot him a glare, “did something happen last night? I thought you swore off alcohol after you and Makoto sucked each other off at your birthday party.”

“That was _outside_ the bar and we just _kissed_. You were _there._ ”

“I know what I saw. So? Did something happen or not?” Rin slowed the car as they rolled up to their friend’s auto shop.

“You mean anything aside from the reason you brought me here? I wouldn’t say anything _happened_ exactly…”

Rin arched an eyebrow at Haru as he pulled the key out of the ignition.

“I just had a weird night—er day. But Make sure to ask Makoto about his night when you see him again.” He said as he slammed the door.

The boys walked towards the open garage of Rei’s family’s auto shop, surrounded by cars in various stages of repair. Haru’s squinting, bloodshot eyes scanned the lot for his own vehicle.

“Weird how?” The redhead asked, slinging an arm around the other, “like pornographic weird or scary weird?”

“PLEASE don’t use the word pornographic while you’re touching me.” Haru snapped as she shimmied away from his friend.

“Aww come on, I can’t help it! You’re just so cuddly!” Rin said, flinging his arms around a disgruntled Haru.

“Why’s everyone always touching me all of a sudden—really—gah! Cut it out! I can’t take anymore.”

“What, are you going to cum in your pants or something?” Rin teased, releasing him.

“No I’m going to throw up.”

“Fuck man, you’re really in a bad mood. And here I drove you all the way here on a Saturday morning and you won’t even let me grope you.”

Haru watched the ground and rubbed the back of his neck as they walked. “Uggh, shit. I’m sorry. Thank you for driving, I really do appreciate it. I just…yesterday…” he sighed, “there was this guy—“

“Hey guys!”

The two males raised their heads in the direction of the voice and waved to Rei as they strolled up to the garage.

“Your car’s in here Haru, I just got it up on the lift. What’s up Rin? Haven’t seen you in a couple weeks.” Rei greeted the redhead with a smile.

“Nothing much man, just school and shit.”

"Do you have more metal in your face since the last time I saw you?"

The pierced redhead smirked and clicked his tongue against the now-dual hoops at the side of his lower lip. "Just a little."

"Now that you mention is, this one looks new too." Haru said, flicking the top of his friend's ear.

"OW! What the shit, you dick! Those have all been there."

"I know, I just wanted to hurt you."

"Fuck you...I'll be right back. I left my phone in the car."

“Ok, we’ll just be over here. So how are you? You look kinda rough.” Rei said to the disheveled figure as he led the way through the garage, “No offense, of course. You’re just not radiating your usual beauty.” He added, laughing.

“I just drank too much last night, and, you know, this whole thing.” He pointed to his car as they approached the lift.

“Oh really! Drinking, huh? Did you and Makoto—“

“No we did NOT! You guys have to stop bringing that up.”

“Oh come on. It was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.”

Haru dragged his hand down his face in exasperation, “Yeah, well, you’re into some weird shit, you know that?”

“Haru, I’m wounded. I would hardly call the consummation of the love between two young—“

“Ugh. Rei. My car? Please?”

“Yes of course,” the mechanic said, his grin transforming into a visage of concentrated professionalism, “your vehicle incurred damage to the driver’s side along the front fender and part of the side bumper, and there’s a 7.3 inch scuff to the headlight assembly, which in theory should be easily remedied with buffing wax, but the wheel is bent inwards approximately a 61-degree angle, so you’ll need a new strut and a new axle…definitely a new rim.”

“Uh huh, I don’t know what those things are, but I trust you. How long will it take?”

“Well,” the man frowned, “Volvo parts usually take a while to come in. I’ll try to put a rush on them…maybe a week?”

Haru sighed, “Fuck. Alright, thanks Rei.”

“No problem. Will you be okay without a car?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Good point.” The mechanic said, readjusting his glasses.

“I’m sure I can catch a ride with Makoto to school…and I can just walk to work if I have to.” Haru thought as the two men exited the garage, “and then there’s this guy who—wait, who is that?” he nodded towards Rin’s car.

Rin stood leaning against his car with one hand poised femininely on his hip, the other fidgeting with his red pony tail as he animatedly spoke with a large, muscular man in a tight black t-shirt and dark, loose fitted jeans. The man was turned slightly away from the duo, but Haru could clearly make out his fine jawline and deep baritone voice; he could also clearly see the faint blush that painted his friend’s face as he— _is he giggling?_

“Oi, Sousuke!” Rei shouted, “He works in the garage,” he explained to Haru as they crossed the lot, “he’s also my bassist.”

The man turned towards the mechanic and his companion and flicked away a cigarette. “Haru, right?” he said with an outstretched hand, “Sousuke.”

“Haru,” he answered, shaking his hand, “but I see you knew that.” He said, his eyes flitting towards a cartoonishly spellbound version of Rin. _I should tell him he’s drooling._

“Sousuke started working here a couple weeks ago,” Rei elaborated, “he’s also doing me the favor of standing in as our bassist while Aiichiro is out of the country.”

“He said that he and Rei have a show next Friday!” Rin blurted at Haru, though somehow still managing to keep his eyes on Sousuke.

“Ah! Sousuke, you beat me to it.” Rei said, “I was going to ask you guys to come out for a bit that night.”

Rin looked expectantly at Haru, his eyes wide and pleading.

“What are you looking at me for? You’re an adult. You don’t need my permission.”

“Yeah but—well—uh,” Rin stammered, “you can ride with me! If your car isn’t fixed by then. Don’t you want to go!”

 _Holy shit, did you fuck him already?_ Haru thought, giving the stranger a visual once-over. “Mmhm sure. I haven’t seen you guys play since Ai left. Yeah I’ll be there. Can we go now?” He said to Rin, who was busy taking in every detail of the large, green-eyed man’s physique. Haru’s pretty sure he saw him lick his lips when his eyes traveled across Sousuke’s sculpted chest. Luckily Sousuke was chatting with Rei and didn’t notice the shameless ogling. He didn’t think, anyway.

“Huh—Oh.  Yeah. Bye Rei, it was good to see you man. And it was nice to meet you Sousuke.” He added with a shit-eating grin and a twirl of his hair.

Haru rolled his eyes. “Thanks Rei, I’ll see you Friday.” He exchanged nods with Sousuke before wilting back into the car.

 

* * *

 

“Rin I had no idea.” Haru stated after a few minutes of silence.

“No idea about what?”

“Did you suck his dick already? Or were you planning to do that Friday?”

Rin blanched. “HUH!?” He whipped his head toward Haru, who braced against the dashboard as the car swerved onto the shoulder.

“CHRIST Rin, watch the road! What the fuck is wrong with you!”

“What’s wrong with YOU!? What the hell are you talking about!?”

“Do you need to pull over? I’ll give you time to jerk off if you need it. I’ll wait outside.”

“HARU!

“Oh god, please stop yelling. My head…”

“You need to tell me right now what the FUCK you are talking about.”

“Jesus, Rin…how much more obvious could you have been? I think I got a contact boner. Like a contact high? Have you ever read about mirror neurons and sexual behav—“

“PLEASE, Haru! Stop! Just stop. I…I don’t…”

Haru waited patiently.

Rin exhaled harshly and knit his eyebrows, “I just thought…he was good looking…there wasn’t anything else to it. He was really…like…built? I was just…appreciating…” he screwed up his face, struggling to find words, “You know what that’s like, right?”

“Are you asking _me_ if I know what it’s like to find men attractive?” The dark haired man snorted, “Me?”

“Well…yeah. I....guess I've never felt...like, I just really wanted to look at him? Just because I think a guy is attractive doesn’t mean…that um…”

“You want to ride him? No it doesn’t always mean that. Sometimes it means that you want to shove your—“

“GOD HARU!”

“Although, it’s pretty obvious who would be the top in that situation—“

“HARU PLEASE!”

“Ugh alright I’ll stop, just please don’t yell anymore.” The male raked his hands down his face. “I’m sorry, but you don’t have to get so upset.”

“I’m not upset…I guess...fuck was I really being that obvious? Or are you just being a dick?”

“Rin, I can honestly say I’ve never seen you blush like that. You were _playing_ with your _hair_. That is, like, one of the top signs of sexual attraction,” _don’t say for women don’t say for women_ , “and I don’t think I’ve ever heard you giggle...”

A cross between a sob and a choke bubbled from the redhead who clasped a hand over his mouth. Haru pivoted his head against the head rest to regard his friend who, to his surprise, was hiding a grin behind his fingers; his dark eyes crinkling with genuine amusement.

“I was giggling? Really?” He snickered and visibly relaxed. “Ugh. I don’t know man. Think Rei noticed?”

“Probably. Should I text him and ask?” the student said teasingly as he reached for his phone.

“Please don’t!” Rin cried, again swerving slightly as he snatched at Haru’s hand.

“Okay fine I was only kidding. Jesus.”

Activating his phone, Haru saw that he had three missed messages. _I should start turning it to vibrate at least._ The first message, coincidentally, was from Rei.

11:32am REI: is rin gay?

The second message was from Makoto.

11:40am MAKOTO:  any word on your car? And can we talk about last night? :) I’ll be around later tonight after work. I left your coffee on the counter. :) :)

11:48am HARU: rei said it will be about a week, so guess who’s taking me to school? Thanks for the coffee.

_Totally not touching the ‘we need to talk’ thing._

11:48am HARU: btw show next Friday? Rei’s playing.

When he opened the last message his heart stopped.

11:41am <3<3~~NAGISA~~<3<3: Good morning, Haru-chan. Thank you for coming for coffee with me last night. It was very nice talking with you. Xo

_Oh no...._

“You alright?”

Haru jumped. “What?”

“That's a really creepy smile.”

“I thought I told you to watch the road.” He turned his face into a mild scowl, “I don't have a creepy smile.”

“Whatever you say. Okay, get out, you douche.” Rin pulled up to Haru’s apartment and waved his hands at the man in a ‘shoo’ing motion.

“So, Friday?”

“Sure. I’m guessing Makoto will be coming too?”

“Probably. I just texted him. If he comes then Kisumi might too... would you mind giving us all a ride?”

“Nah. But…Kisumi? Really?“

“You’re going to have to talk to him about that. See you later. Thanks again.”

“Anytime. Wait..I um…what should I do?”

“Do? What do you mean?”

“About…you know…” Rin looked away shamefully; Haru almost felt bad for him. He had just moved in with his girlfriend, _a vicious cunt,_ but after what just transpired at Rei’s—

“You don’t _do_ anything. Just because you think someone’s attractive doesn’t mean you want to—“

“OKAY! Got it. Fuck. I’ll just…”

“Wait till Friday?”

“Yeah…”

“Hey…" Haru crunged internally, "...call me if you need something, okay?” He did his best to sound sympathetic, but he knew it came out as overtly after-school-special-esque.

Rin smiled back at him with discomfited gratitude, “thanks, I’ll uh…see you then.” He added, squirming slightly in embarrassment as Haru slammed the door.

He pulled out his phone as he crossed the street, but turned back toward the car.

“Rin wait.” he called, jogging back while Rin rolled down his window, “Just wanted to give you something to think about on your way home.” He said, holding the screen towards his friend:

11:32am REI: is rin gay?

Rin’s wide eyes and dropped jaw was all the reaction he needed, and he spun around without a word to walk triumphantly back to his apartment. 

* * *

Haru snatched his coffee off the counter and made his way to the bathroom to swallow, like, 800 Tylenol. He sat on the edge of the tub to remove his socks and roll up his pants and turned the faucet on to let the sound of the water ease his throbbing head. Allowing the pleasant coolness to wash over his toes, he sipped his lukewarm coffee and dug his phone out of his pocket.

11:41am <3<3~~NAGISA~~<3<3: Good morning, Haru-chan. Thank you for coming for coffee with me last night. It was very nice talking with you. xo

_Who the fuck says ‘xo’? Is he my grandmother?_

12:14pm HARU: I don’t think a cup with two different forms of cream qualifies as coffee. But you’re the PhD candidate, so what do I know.

_Sigh_

12:14pm HARU: it was nice talking with you too.

Haru cringed at himself—seemed to be doing a lot of that recently—and set his phone and coffee on the edge of the tub to rest his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands.

_Oh by the way, I came all over myself while thinking about fucking your mouth._

His friends had been right; he _was_ being overly dramatic lately. _So what_ if he got off to some dude he just met. It was his dick and he’ll do what he wants with it. To it? _So what_ if that dude was a flirty little shit with an academic publication history? That didn’t mean he was suddenly his idol for fuck’s sake. He thought back to what he and Rin had just agreed on: just because you find someone attractive doesn’t mean you want to…to what? Fuck the shit out of them? Yea, that. For example. Haru understood that almost every one of his friends was objectively…pretty. Rei had made sure to maintain his sleek musculature from his high school track-and-field days, and his red-framed glasses accentuated his almost startlingly beautiful face like they were crafted specifically for him. Makoto was every girl’s wet dream, with his stupidly kind eyes and oh-so-innocent smile. He had been on the high school swim team with Haru, and 4 years later he still had the anatomy of a well-disciplined athlete. Aiichiro had since gone from a whiny little brat with a bowl cut to a tall, strikingly handsome man with well-toned arms and an air of mystery surrounding him. Even Rin with his dumb pony tail, weird facial piercings - though the eyebrow ring _did_ suit him quite well - and shark-like smile was devastatingly sexy at times. Haru knew all of this, and yet he never once felt compelled to ravage any one of his friends; never had they been the object of his lust, nor came close to occupying his mind during his few-and-far-between solo sexual escapades. Nope; the only person to ever elicit such a painful ache in his groin had been Levi.

Recognizing all of that only served to make remembering his physiological reactions to an aggravating spunky blond all the more concerning.  He didn’t have time to indulge in these…feelings. He was applying to graduate programs and his senior thesis was pretty much dead in the water at this point. No no, he just didn’t have the energy to figure out what this child-like man’s intentions were.     

His phone buzzed.

12:16 pm MAKOTO: Friday sounds good! I heard they got a new guy.

12:17pm HARU: I met him at Rei’s. He’s.. a guy.

12:17pm MAKOTO: okay? It will be cool to see them play again. It’s been a while.

Haru reached to turn off the water as his phone buzzed again.

12:18 pm <3<3~~NAGISA~~<3<3: so let’s do it again sometime ;)

His stomach fluttered.

_Tell him it’s a bad idea. Say it. SAY IT._

12:19pm HARU: I’m changing your name in my phone.

_Good job._

12:20pm <3<3~~NAGISA~~<3<3: no you’re not

Haru stared at his phone, gnawing on the inside of his cheek. He set the device down and took his feet out of the tub, grabbing a towel from the rack to pat them dry. Collecting his coffee, he stood and exited the bathroom, leaving his phone behind.

He moved towards his bedroom to retrieve his laptop with the intention of staring vacantly at a blank Word document for a few minutes before abandoning all hope of getting school work done for the day. He was hungover and it was Saturday; let’s be honest, homework wasn’t happening. He sat in his desk chair drumming his fingers on the arm-rests—once, twice, three times, four times—allowing the ever familiar sense of overwhelming boredom slither its way through his chest and rest oppressively in the pit of his stomach.

He stood up with enough force to send his chair back a few inches before racing into the bathroom.   

12:26pm HARU: What are you doing Friday night?

 

* * *

 

 

The rest of the weekend had been painfully uneventful. Haru did everything he could to avoid Makoto, who insisted on talking about what had happened between himself and Kisumi. Haru adamantly reassured him that there was no explanation required, and that he would try to be much louder upon returning home late at night in the future. He had received more than one “you’re a dick” texts from Rin, which he ignored, and he did everything he could to keep himself from revisiting and over analyzing the brief conversation that took place with Nagisa following his ennui-inspired lapse in judgement.

To his surprise—and mild irritation; it wasn’t like he kept checking his phone or anything—he didn’t receive a reply from the graduate student until he was at work that evening. The good thing about banquet serving was that, following dinner service, you could pretty much do whatever you wanted as long as your section was cleared by the end of the night. But the _best_ thing about banquet serving was that you didn’t have to speak with anyone; someone asks for coffee and you nod, someone asks where the bathroom is and you point. Haru snuck away during the painfully cliché bouquet toss ritual, _who gets married at the end of November?,_ when he felt the anxiously anticipated buzz in his back pocket.

 

9:02pm <3<3~~NAGISA~~<3<3: Haru-chan, are you asking me out?

 

He silently praised the gods of the breakroom who made sure that no one would be witness to the ridiculous grin that momentarily broke through his veil of stoicism, or the fact that his hands trembled from a sudden rush of adrenaline as he fumbled with a response.

9:05pm HARU: don’t push it. My friend’s band is playing and I was wondering if you’d like to come with us. You seem weird enough that you might actually be into their music.

9:06pm <3<3~~NAGISA~~<3<3: Yes.

The phone suddenly buzzed with an incoming call, jarring his already-fidgety fingers and causing his heart to almost thump out his throat.

"Um, hi?”

“Haru-chan. Yes I’ll go out with you on Friday.” Replied a giggly voice.

“Er—I ah, there’s going to be a bunch of people there you know..”

“You’re cute. What time?”

“…uh.. Meet at my apartment at 8. My friend will drive us. Unless you want to meet us there..you probably don’t want to ride in a car with a bunch of annoying college kids, right? I mean, I don’t either really but I don’t have—“

“Haru-chan. I’ll meet at your place at 8.”

“Oh alright…I have to go back to work so I’ll see you then.”

“mmmkay.” Haru could practically hear him smirk through the phone, “I can’t wait. Bye…Haru.”

His heart hammered recklessly and he barely eeked out a ‘yeah bye’ before jamming his phone back into his pocket with trembling hands.

_What the FUCK is with this guy. I can’t handle this shit._

He spent the rest of his shift and all of Sunday suppressing the butterflies in his stomach.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More smut is on its way. I promise.
> 
> P.S. You all have been so kind and encouraging and I seriously teared up at some of your wonderful comments (i'm easily moved - SORRY -) I just hope I'm able to continue to provide content that pleases!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Rin has a bathroom fetish?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who are Haru x Makoto shippers (not sure why you're *here*, but whatevs), I recently introduced my 24 year old sister to Free! And, after watching like, four episodes, she turns to me-completely serious-and asks, "so are the other guys supposed to know that those two are dating?" :D Hilarious. Anyway.
> 
> This chapter got away from me, so I decided to split it into two parts. I still have some work to do on the second part (I deleted everything in a fit of rage. Oops) before I feel good enough about it to post...so...eh. It would have been ridiculously long if I didn't split it blahblahblah who actually reads this garbage?

Haru kept his phone turned off for most of the week for a few reasons. First, he had shit to do. Like, important school shit that would sort of maybe determine the outcome of his entire future. Second, he didn’t like the jolt of nervous energy he felt every time it would vibrate, which had been happening A LOT since Rin had chosen to do some very serious soul-searching since their last conversation, and just HAD to include Haru in the process. Haru understood—really he did—but he just didn’t think it warranted constant communication. As far as he was concerned, everyone struggled with their sexual identity at some point in their lives. But it wasn’t something that required a goddamn text or phone call every 10 minutes to someone who was VERY BUSY. Haru eventually explained the situation to Makoto, who was more than willing to spend every spare moment consoling their confused friend like the bleeding heart that he was. He felt that the situation had resolved itself, and he was finally able to concentrate on important matters like obsessing over the appropriate use of adjectives in his graduate school statement, and making sure he didn’t use any variation of the phrase ‘I’ve always found the brain to be fascinating’ when justifying his reason for wanting to pursue neuroscience; _no shit, who doesn’t._

After class on Thursday, Haru and Makoto pulled up to the apartment to find a distressed redhead occupying their stoop. Rin flung himself at Haru and enveloped him in a crushing hug, burying his face in the soft pea coat and…raised his head to greet the two students with a sad smile.

“Hey, are you okay?” Makoto asked, sharing a confused glace with Haru as Rin released him.

“Yeah, um. I’m going to be moving out…we talked.” He said to the ground.

“You’re breaking up?” Haru pressed, surprised, but not really.

“That’s implied isn’t it!” Rin crackled.

Haru sighed and nodded toward the door, pulling the keys from his pocket. _At least he isn’t weeping._

* * *

 

“So what did you say to her?” Makoto asked as he opened two beers and handed one to Rin; Haru leaned against the kitchen counter with his glass of water.

“Nothing specific,” Rin answered after downing half his drink, “she wasn’t too upset, actually…”

“Did you tell her about your new love for cock?”

“Haru!” Makoto scolded.

“He knows I’m kidding,” Haru rolled his eyes, “Well did you?” He added, leading the other two into the living room.

“Of course I fucking didn’t.” Rin snapped, “…I mean, I didn’t say it like that…”

Makoto choked on his beer, “You told her!?”

“I had to give her a reason!”

“No you really didn’t.” Haru said blandly, busying himself with some Wii controllers.

“Unfortunately not all of us can be dead inside.”

“I’m not dead inside, I’m—“

“Soulless? Yeah I know.”

“Rin, seriously, what did you say to her?” Makoto pressed, taking a seat on the plush beige couch.

Rin dropped down heavily next to his brown-haired friend, “I said that I had…come to realize some _things_. She asked if it had anything to do with you two.”

“Us?” Makoto asked with a frown, “Why?”

“Is that a serious question?” Haru handed a controller to Rin.

“Mmhm true.” Makoto answered with a thoughtful sip of his drink, “You staying here tonight?”

“Definitely. We’re playing Mario Kart?”

“I figured we might as well get you accustomed to taking it in the ass.” Haru said nonchalantly to Rin, who turned four shades of red and killed the rest of his beer before stalking out of the living room to get another one.

“Don’t you think you’re being a little harsh?” Makoto whispered to Haru when Rin was out of earshot.

“You remember the shit he gave _me_ , right?” The dark haired male shot back, “he put a black dildo on my windshield!”

“Yeah but you didn’t just break up with someone!”

“Jesus, fine.”

“Honestly, what are the odds of him actually being into me? He’s probably got, like, 50 girls begging to put their hands in his pants.” Rin ruminated as he emerged from the kitchen.

“You guys spoke for an entire 3 minutes and he managed to invite you to their show. But fuck, I don’t know. Want to get Rei over here? He probably knows the guy pretty well.” Haru suggested.

Rin considered this option for a few moments, “Maybe that’s not a bad idea….he asked who you were,” he said to his friend, “like, he immediately asked about you. ‘that guy your friend’? or something like that. Maybe it’s you he wants.”

“Holy shit Rin. He was obviously asking if _I was your boyfriend_. God, you suck at this.”

“I’m calling Rei.” Makoto stood and pulled out his phone, “be right back.”

Haru moved to occupy his friend’s spot on the couch, “you shouldn’t worry so much. Just talk to him tomorrow night and see what happens…pay attention to his body language…actually,” the male paused to fidget with the gaming controller still in his hands, “I think there’s someone who might know more about the science of attraction than I do..”

Dark eyes rolled in their sockets, “Psych people are weird. Who?”

Said psych person sighed in irritation and plucked the beer from his friend’s hand and took a long drink, grimacing immediately, “ew”.

“Then give it back, you dick.”

“So,” he began as the bottle was snatched back, “remember when you kept asking me if something had happened last week? When you took me to Rei’s?”

“Mmhm. I think you started to say something about it, now that you mention it.”

“Yeah well…” _What the fuck do I even say? Nothing actually happened. Some guy flirted with me. Jesus, that’s literally all that happened. I’m such a thirteen year old girl._ “I met someone…I mean, I ran into someone. At school. He’s in the social psych Ph.D. program. He’s um..coming with us tomorrow…”

Rin stared at him blankly, “ _You_ invited someone you just met to come hang out with all of us? _You_?”

Haru rolled his eyes as Rin leaned back on the couch and propped his feet up on the glass coffee table, “It’s not that weird. He offered to help with my thesis and we talked a little…he’s even been published—“

“Did you know about this?” Rin cut his friend off as Makoto reentered the room.

“Rei’s on his way. Know about what?”

“Haru’s got a boyfriend.”

Makoto tilted his head inquisitively as Haru flung a pillow at the redhead. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Who are you talking about?” the larger male asked, settling into a spot on the carpet, his brow furrowed in perplexed intrigue.

“This is _not_ how I want to talk about it.” The dark haired man said as he rubbed his forehead.

“Ah!” cried Rin, “there _is_ something to talk about! Hold on hold on let me get another beer.”

“Well I can definitely see how the night is going to go,” Makoto laughed as Rin danced into the kitchen. Haru buried his face in his hands, grumbling. “You alright?”

“Of course I’m alright. This is just really stupid.”

“Okay. Continue.” Rin demanded, flopping back down next to his troubled friend.

“There’s nothing to really say. I met this guy at school. He just happened to be there when Makoto told me about destroying my car, and he offered to give me a ride home. We talked a little and he asked to help with my paper.”

“You worked on a paper with some guy you just met until 10 at night?” Makoto asked skeptically.

“No…we actually went for coffee…”

“You already went on a _date_!?” Rin cried.

“Ugh, no. It wasn’t a date.”     

 “So you went on a ‘not date’,” Makoto narrated, “with a guy you just met, he drove you home, and then you drank a bottle of wine by yourself in your bedroom.”

“I wasn’t about to watch you and Kisumi blow eachoth—“

“EXCUSE ME!? What the FUCK have I been missing!?” Rin suddenly leapt at Makoto, tackling his large frame to the ground, “TELL ME!”

 Haru breathed a sigh of relief and leaned back into the cushions, pleased to no longer be the center of attention. He watched his two friends roll around on the floor; a tipsy Rin making a valiant attempt at pinning the much larger male to the carpet.

“Fuck—gah! Why are you so heavy!” the brown haired man groaned as he tried to shove his excited friend off of him, “Haru help me!”

“Nah. I’m enjoying the show.” He replied as Rin managed to successfully straddle his prey, pinning his hands to either side of his head. Makoto quit struggling, a smirk emerging on his face.

“Alright, I’ll tell you. It started a lot like this actually…” he spoke softly and slowly leaned his face up close to Rin, staring at his mouth. The redhead’s eyes widened dramatically and he pushed off the male’s hands with force, sending his body flying backwards and landing with a thud on his back between the other’s legs.

Makoto cracked up at the look of horror and shock that briefly crossed his friend’s face as he propped himself onto his elbows. “What? I thought you could use some practice.”

“Not fair…” Rin mumbled from the floor.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. Kisumi and I are just exploring our feelings at the moment.”

Haru snorted.

“Did you guys…?” the redhead asked as he stood up and looked around for his beer.

“Ah..no…um…” Makoto replied with a blush.

“I think that’s my fault, sorry about that.” Haru offered, not really sorry at all.

“No, I don’t think it would have gotten that far…despite what it may have looked like. We didn’t have…um… _things_ …”

Haru didn’t mention that he had _things_ in his dresser.

 “Tragic.” Rin added, “and YOU,” he said, turning and aggressively shoving a finger into his black-haired friend’s face, “how is it that YOU, the world’s most anti-social—“

“Asocial.” Haru yawned.

“Fuck you— _asocial_ person in the universe, are inviting strangers to come meet us?”

“Are you jealous, Rin?”

“When are we meeting him!?” Makoto perked up.

“Holy shit you guys.“

“Haru invited him to Rei’s show tomorrow.” Rin answered smugly.

“Damn, Haru, is it that serious already?”

Haru fell limply against the arm of the couch and groaned loudly into the cushion.

“You have to admit,” Makoto said, “as much as we enjoy teasing you, this isn’t normal behavior for you. Even with the Professor Ackerman thing…you weren’t inviting him places.”

“That was just sex,” Haru reminded his friends with an exasperated sigh, _mind-blowingly hot sex_ , “I didn’t actually know anything about him…except…hmmm…” he bit his lip thoughtfully, a look of dreamy contemplation crossing his face.

“ _Anyway_. He’s right. Have you made even a single new friend since, like, middle school? And you haven’t _dated_ anyone since…what, five years ago? It’s weird. For you. To…talk…to people?” Rin struggled to find the appropriate wording to describe their introverted friend.

Haru considered this fact for a moment. He really didn’t want to have to explain the details of that confusing evening, and how his stomach fluttered each time he thought about the way those gleaming pink eyes seemed to study him, or how the brush of the man’s smooth skin against his made his pulse quicken. No, he wasn’t going to mention the physiological havoc that the blond’s flirty behavior wrought on his body. “I guess I’m just trying new things these days.” He stated with a dismissive wave, “can we play?”

“Fine.” Rin grunted, finishing yet another beer, “let me just..” he said, gesturing with his empty bottle as he slightly stumbled into the kitchen.

Makoto looked at his friend who was staring blankly at the controller in his hands, “I’m very excited to meet this guy.” He said, grinning like an idiot.

* * *

 

The boys played a few games of Mario Kart before Rei arrived with, to Rin’s delight, a lot more beer.

“Reididhesayanyhingaboutme!?” Rin attacked the bespectacled male as he moved through the doorway, grasping the lapels of his coat and falling against him and the open door, causing it to slam with a loud bang.

“Ah—FUCK! Rin holy shit. You’re going to kill me. Let go!” Rei shook his friend’s hands free from his coat, “let me get inside first. I have no idea what you just said.”

“Sousuke.” The redhead whined, “do you think he—“

“Okay - hold on.” Rei’s face relaxed into a wide smile as Makoto joined the two in the foyer. “we’ll talk about that in a second. What’s up, Makoto?”

“This.” He replied nodding at a sulky, intoxicated Rin.

“I can see that. Here I brought gifts.” Makoto showed Rei to the fridge where he stowed his beer, losing one to Rin’s grabby hands and extracting two for himself and the other before heading into the living room.

“Hey Haru.”

The blue eyed student nodded at Rei as he took a graceful seat in one of the black leather recliners, casually draping a long, slim leg over the armrest. “You have a long way to go to catch up with those two.” Haru stated, pointing at the beer. “Rin’s out of control and Makoto keeps trying to talk about our feelings.”

“I’ll do what I can to help.” Rei breathed out a laugh as Rin stumbled in past the doorway, followed by a pleasantly flushed Makoto. The redheaded male dropped to his knees in front of Rei’s chair with a pained expression on his face.

“Do you think he likes me?” the male pleaded while resting his chin on the other’s knee; his eyes swam as he stared up pitifully.

Rei arched an eyebrow at Haru who had fled to the opposite side of the couch to escape Makoto, “See?” he growled.

A short laugh escaped the mechanic’s lips, “Rin, I don’t know if I should be telling you anything important when you are in this kind of a state.” He addressed his drunk friend, “but…” he added, adjusting his glasses, “he did ask me if you were single.”

"Really?" Haru interjected, "He asked if he was single? Not if he was into...you know, men?"

Rei smirked, "Either his gay-dar is spot on or he's just really confident."

Rin’s glazed eyes lit up momentarily and he staggered to his feet, but even in his stupor he realized the potentially damning answer Sousuke may have received regarding his singleness and dove at Rei once more, grabbing his shoulders “but I’m not—I mean, wasn’t—at the time! Fuck! I am now! What did you tell him!”

“I said I didn’t know! Christ—you’re like an animal.”

“You said you didn’t know! You said that—really!?” Rin cried and released Rei before stumbling to the couch to drop down next to Makoto.

“Um…yeah…you looked so…enamored.”

Rin sighed dramatically, “s’that all?’

“Sousuke’s a man of few words…” Rei sipped his beer, “but I did catch him smiling after you guys left when he was wrist deep in brake fluid. Not an activity one typically smiles during.”

“Fuuuuuuck…” The drunk redhead groaned. “Fuck it.” He jumped up,  “‘s drinking game time! Never have I ever!—after I get another drink!”

“You sit down,” Makoto shoved the drunk male onto the couch as he stood. “I’ll get it. Haru, you in?”

“I am not.”

“Oh come on, pleeeease?” Rin crawled over to his friend, “s’like, the…whole..bonding…thing.”

“Bonding? I’m pretty sure we’ve _bonded_ already you psycho.”

“Mmm I like it when you talk dirty.” Haru smacked his friend’s hand from his knee. “Come onnn- I’m…emotionally fragile...distract meee…”

“Ugh fine. I’ll have ONE beer.”

Makoto returned with three bottles in each of his large hands and sat to the other side of Rin, who threw his legs over Haru and placed his head in the taller man’s lap.

“I start!” The redhead cried, holding his fresh beer up to the ceiling, “Never have I ever had a dick in my mouth!”

_Sweet Jesus please kill me._

* * *

 

Friday morning Haru awoke to find Rin and Makoto intertwined on the couch, still beneath the blanket he had so caringly draped over them before going to bed.

The raven-haired male was exhausted. When this alarm chimed maliciously at 7am, he swore silent vengeance on his friends who kept him up till the wee-hours of the morning with their drunken shenanigans. Even Rei couldn’t handle the antics and chose to check out sometime around midnight, but not before expressing his concerns for Rin’s possible new-found drinking problem. Haru assured him it was only temporary.

The tired student drifted sullenly to the kitchen, his dark blue sweat pants hanging low on his hips; he made sure to make just enough noise with the coffee maker to potentially jar the still-slumbering duo. He crossed his arms over his shirtless chest and stared bleary-eyed at the coffee pot as it sizzled and steamed, depositing fragrant liquid into the glass receptacle; his sleepy mind acknowledging the coming night’s planned activities and a spark of nervousness zipped through his tired body.

“Morning.”

Haru turned as his roommate traipsed slowly into the kitchen, rubbing a blood-shot green eye with the heel of his hand hand.

“Good morning princess. Sleep well?”

“No.” Makoto crossed the floor to retrieve a cup from the cabinet.

“Is Rin dead?”

“Yeah I think so. I’m not going to class.”

“Mmhm. I’m taking your car then.” Haru stated as he poured himself some coffee and handed the pot to his friend.

He exited the kitchen, crossing the living room and casting a look at the redhead still cozy on the couch. _Stupid fuck looking all cute and stupid with your dumb face fuck you can’t wait till you wake up and feel like shit._

Haru envied the slumbering male and moved towards the bathroom with a sigh, anticipating a very long and painful day.

* * *

 

“Fuck.”

Haru grumbled to his empty bedroom following a very restless nap after one of the most boring school days he ever experienced. He spent all day fondly day-dreaming about slinking back into bed the moment he returned home, and he was very pleased to find that Rin was gone and the door to Makoto’s room was shut tight, but he couldn’t force his brain to shut off once his head hit the pillow. Every time an image of thick blond hair and a bright face would surface his body would jolt awake, and he spent the majority of his nap just feeling frustrated and jittery.

His eyes darted from his phone on his nightstand to the evening-darkened window to his clock and back to his phone. He reached for the device and anxiously switched it on to see one new message; part of him hoped to read an apologetic text to the effect of ‘sorry Haru-chan, can’t make it tonight’ and the other part of him fiercely dreaded it. _This is so ridiculous, what is wrong with me._ However, neither parts of him were prepared for what was actually displayed on the screen:

5:31pm <3<3~~NAGISA~~<3<3: I had a dream about you. Still your place at 8?

His stomach did that fluttering thing.

6:28pm: Haru: Yes 8. What dream?

_Oh god._

6:29pm <3<3~~NAGISA~~<3<3: you were my brother :)

6:29pm <3<3~~NAGISA~~<3<3: Ever see the movie ‘the dreamers’?

6:30pm HARU: no…

6:30pm <3<3~~NAGISA~~<3<3: See you in a bit Haru-chan! :) :)

_Why am I doing this._

He tossed the phone aside and stripped off his shirt before grabbing a fresh bath towel from his closet.

Haru spent only a little too long in the shower, making damn well sure to bask in the pleasant heat of the water as it flowed in rivulets down his torso. He had long since finished the actual task of showering and was delaying the undesirable business of emerging from the steamy serenity of the bathroom when the startling sound of fist-on-wood echoed through the tiny room.

“Stop jerking off, I need to piss!” An intrusive voice barked through the thick wooden door.

“My _god_ Rin—Why are you here!” Haru yelled, startled.

“I’m driving, you asshole. I’m coming in.”

“DO NOT come in. I’m getting out. You’re a pain in the ass.” The wet, irritated student mumbled as he shut off the water and stepped from the blissful heat. He just managed to wrap the towel around his dripping waist when his friend barged his way in.

“What the hell is wrong with you.”

“Relax, I’ve seen you naked, like, a thousand times. Move.”

Haru ran a hand through his soaking hair and huffed out of the bathroom, pulling the door shut loudly behind him. He finished drying himself in the privacy of his bedroom and hastily pulled on a pair of black boxer briefs and dark brown jeans, but then froze as he reached for a shirt in his closet. He stood there looking blankly at the various shades and hues that hung neatly in front of him, _I’m not really doing this am I?_ He berated himself, conscious of the fact that he might actually be concerned about what he wore that night. He chose to give up getting dressed for the moment and plopped down on his bed in frustration. He reached for his phone, still half hoping for an apology—no such luck. He scanned the previous message with a furrowed brow before standing and joining Rin and Makoto in the living room.

“You guys ever see the movie _The Dreamers_?” Haru asked from the doorway.

“The one where the brother and sister fuck each other? Yeah.” The redhead replied with one of Haru’s textbooks open in his lap.

“…thanks.” He turned and casually fled back to his bedroom, pretending like he didn’t feel the heat spreading across his face or his cock twitch in his pants.

His hands shook as he pawed through his closet, unseeing and flustered.

_Fuck fuck fuck why is he doing this to me fuck him fuck him goddamn succubus._

He glanced at the clock on his desk as he yanked a light grey button up shirt from its hanger and tugged it on, followed by a blue and white striped v-neck sweater. He grabbed a short black jacket from the back of his computer chair and rejoined his friends in the living room.

“Is Kisumi coming?” Haru asked Makoto as disinterestedly as possible as he checked the time on his phone again. _Twenty-eight minutes. Oh god why did I invite him._

“He’ll meet us there after work.” Makoto replied with the hint of a blush. “Is your _friend_ still coming?” he added with a grin, his face buried in his laptop as he furiously typed away trying to finish an assignment he neglected to turn in earlier.

“I think so. Maybe.” Haru said, taking a seat next to Rin and shoving his shoe-clad feet off of the coffee table.

“Jeeze- sorry MOM. You have been so MAD since you got this new boyfriend. He making you bottom or something?

“Rin. You found out you might be into guys like a week ago. Shut the fuck up.”

“What? Isn’t that a thing you people need to figure out? Who does what? To whom?”

“You let me know when you find out for yourself.”

Rin blushed and quickly returned his attention to the textbook, “…it’s not like I had never thought about it…before, I mean…”

“Really?” Makoto asked, looking up from his laptop. Even Haru’s eyes widened in surprise.

Rin rolled his eyes, “oh don’t look so shocked. Look at the cock suckers I hang out with.” He playfully shoved Haru’s face with his palm.

“Arg—fuck.” The dark haired male batted the hand away. Rin blew his friend a kiss as he checked his phone again.

“You’re being really obvious.”

“No I’m not. Obvious about what?”

Two sets of eyes regarded him wordlessly.

Haru took a deep steading breath and put his face in his hands, “Ugghhhhh—I feel so _weird_. I don’t even know this guy and he’s got me…he…ugh shit. He’s so confusing. My heart can’t take it. Every time he…goddammit there’s just something so…alluring…about him, but he’s also the strangest person I’ve ever met. He’s got this way of…gah—I don’ know what’s happening to me. My stomach keeps doing this thing and he knows exactly what to say to make me…and he’s SMART. He’s written PAPERS about—even his texts make me—“

“Butterflies.”

“Huh?”

“Butterflies. Fuck, have you never _liked_ anyone before or experienced _feelings_? He’s giving you _butterflies_ in your stomach. You’re seriously the dumbest smart person I know.” The redhead ridiculed, snapping the book shut.

“I know what you’re talking about you jackass. It’s actually a function of the fight or flight system and the release of epinephrine—“

“Shut up, nerd. You’re madly in love.”

Haru’s blue eyes rolled as he flopped back on the couch. He glanced down at himself after a moment’s pause and stated, “I look really gay.”

Makoto snorted.

“I’m going to go change.”

“That’s not going to fix your face.” Rin said to his friend’s retreating back.

“What’s his name anyway?” Makoto shouted.

“Nagisa.” He replied loudly from in front of his closet, smiling to himself at the feeling of the name in his mouth. _Okay so maybe this won’t be awful._ The student pulled off his clothes and exchanged them for a light blue t-shirt, a black pullover hoodie and a pair of dark blue jeans.

“Hey homo - your phone is ringing.”

“So answer it—wait NO—“

“Haru’s house of dildos, this is Rin speak—“

“Fucker give me that! Sorry - hello?”

“Haru-chan,” a lilting voice replied cooly, undaunted by Rin’s immaturity, “I’m outside.”

“Ah okay. Be right there.” He said, ending the call.

“I’m going to kill you and your entire family.” Haru flung his phone at the cackling redhead before heading towards the door on shaking limbs. _It’s okay_ , he thought, trying to rationalize away his galloping heart and sweaty palms, _it’s just hormones and neurotransmitters and an unfamiliar situation._ He inhaled deeply as he opened the door, _I’m okay I’m okay I’m oka—OH NO HE’S HOT._

Haru’s anxious blue eyes met Nagisa’s own, shining and playful, yet veiled with a dark alchemy under the haze of the porch light that left the undergraduate’s tongue thick in his mouth. He wore an oversized pale yellow cardigan over a pink and white striped v-neck and a light green scarf around his slender neck. His pants were black denim, and his feet were dressed in black combat boots that laced up to his mid-calf; the display of boyish innocence merged with the vaguely gothic accent just wasn’t fair, and Haru was hit with a confusing sense of hopelessness and paralyzing infatuation. He realized only a second too late that he hadn’t said anything yet.

“What’s with you not wearing a coat!” he blurted, kind of too loudly. _AWESOME._

“Aw. So caring!” The blond’s eyes twinkled, “how have you been, Haaaru-chan?” he sang, taking a step forward.

“Great.” Replied the younger male, taking a step backward, “come in. Sorry about Rin. He has special needs.”

“He sounds like fun.” The blond said, closing the door behind him.

“You _would_ think that.”

“Would I?”

Haru didn’t need to turn around to see the smirk on the man’s face as he led the way to the living room.

“These are my _friends_ ,” he glared at Rin smiling sweetly on the couch, “Rin, the toddler, and Makoto. He lives here, too. He’s also in the psych program with me. And guys, um, this is Nagisa.” He said, unable to hide the pained discomfort in his voice.

“It’s very nice to meet you, gentlemen.” Nagisa bowed theatrically.

Makoto set his laptop to the side and rose to formally greet the blond who was beaming and visually appreciating the new environment. “We’ve literally heard more about you than anyone Haru has ever met in his life.” He said, shaking the man’s small hand.

“Jesus Makoto!” Haru palmed his own blushing face, “That’s not true.”

Nagisa huffed out a laugh, “Sure Haru-chan. May I use your restroom?”

“Yeah, down the hall to the left.”

“Chan?” Rin asked when the older male was out of earshot.

Haru shrugged helplessly, “I told you, he’s really weird—“

“Is he like 15!? Are you dating a child!?” Makoto yell-whispered.

“OH MY GOD—we are not _dating_ and he’s…older than we are…”

“He’s…damn.” Rin whistled. “Makoto’s got a point, he looks like a teenager, but he’s definitely…something. You’re really not dating? Fucking? Anything?”

“NO! This is the second time I’ve ever even seen him…please don’t say anything else about—“

“Haru-chan,” a voice chirped from the hallway, “is that a mermaid on your shower curtain?” The blond emerged, grinning.

“Uh, yeah. I guess. Do you want anything? To drink, I mean?” Haru fidgeted by the doorway.

“No, I’m good thanks.” The blond said, plopping down confidently next to Rin. “You’ve got really pretty hair.” He added, reaching towards the redhead.

Rin paled and leapt up the moment he felt delicate fingers brush against his ponytail, “UH—thanks! Hey can we go?” he said, fleeing the room.

Nagisa winked at Haru, who couldn’t help smiling and breathing out a sharp laugh as he looked away, an amused glow heating his face. He cleared this throat, “yeah let’s go. I need a drink.”

* * *

 

The show was at a bar across town, which gave the boys a chance to get acquainted with the graduate student while Rin sped through the chilly night in his ten year old maroon sedan.

To Haru’s delight—and slight dismay, cause let’s be honest—the ordinarily playful blond abandoned his flirtatious behavior in favor of chatting away with Rin and Makoto like they were old friends. He was also strangely impressed by the older male’s genuine appreciation for Rin’s bizarre choice in driving music, which consisted primarily of movie scores. 

“So how did all you guys meet?” Nagisa asked.

"Haru and I have known each other since we were in elementary school." Rin answered.

“And then Rin and I met on the swim team in middle school, and Haru joined soon after.” Makoto explained.

“You were swimmers!?” The blond excitedly leaned forward between the front seats, “me too!”

Haru arched an eyebrow, mostly because Nagisa’s hip was now pressed firmly against his thigh in the back seat, but also because he was surprised at this information; even though Makoto was the most athletic looking of the three, it wasn’t hard to see that both Rin and himself were once serious athletes, and still very much in good physical shape. Nagisa on the other hand, Haru thought, didn’t possess the stature nor the physique of a typical swimmer, but rather one of a nimble dancer, or maybe some type of gymnast whose event of specialty relied on flexibility… but maybe he would look a little different if his clothes were—

“But that was like 9 years ago. I probably don’t look the part now.” He turned to flash a smile at Haru, catching him staring at the place where their bodies were touching. Blue eyes looked away quickly.

“What made you want to hang out with mister haphephobic anyway?” Rin asked the graduate student, looking in the rearview window and sticking his tongue out at Haru.

“Why do you even know that word?” the raven haired student snapped.

“I know things too, dick.”

Nagisa giggled while returning to his seat and glancing sideways at the student beside him, “So what kind of music does your friend play?”

“Well—“ Makoto started, “it’s sort of a mix between electronic and metal…and sort of classical? Rei’s a musical genius. Though I suppose he’s a regular genius too…but he—ah, you’ll see what I mean. He mostly specializes in string instruments, but he’s going to be singing tonight...if you can call it that.” He explained to the interested blond, “he spent two semesters at Julliard, but he said the curriculum was too restrictive. It was limiting his creativity and, as he put it ‘was preventing him from expressing the beauty of the music in his heart’. But I’m sure his idea of beauty differs a bit from the norm…you’ll see.”

“Ah!” Nagisa clapped his hands excitedly, “I can’t wait! I love norm violations.”

“When are you nerds getting married?” The redhead teased as he slowed as they approached the bar.

The blond flashed Haru a smile and waggled his eyebrows while other nerd delivered a kick to the back of his friend’s seat and resisted the urge to crawl out the window.

* * *

 

The bar was once one of those Irish pub replicas, but had since been remodeled to represent the pinnacle of smarmy eclectic charm. A row of vintage gaming cabinets adorned the wall to the left of the entrance, and an old-world cartographical ambiance pervaded the entire establishment, with aged maps depicting sea monsters and poor reproductions of coastlines pasted askew on the dark walls, and ancient globes of all shapes and sizes were placed haphazardly among high-top tables and booths of dark brown leather. A cherrywood bar with matching stools ran the length of the main room, behind it stood an arsenal of back-lit liquors and gaudy beer-taps boasting mostly IPAs and esoteric porters to the delight of the regular clientele. A second room, consisting of a modest-sized stage and open floor-plan, resided past the end of the long bar, which allowed bar-goers to enjoy the live music directly or listen passively while socializing at the bar.

Nagisa stood close to Haru as the boys scanned the crowded floor for signs of their musician friend while the heavy sounds of an opening band carried through the space. Makoto spotted Rei waving from one of the large booths, and Haru noticed Rin bend down slightly to whisper something to the blond, who grinned as they started to make their way through the crowd. A broad-shouldered man sitting opposite Rei turned in his seat to witness the approaching males, causing the redhead to freeze momentarily before a small hand grabbed his elbow and tugged him along gently. Haru hid a smirk as the blond roughly shoved his blushing friend into the booth beside Sousuke the second they reached the table, _Oh my god I think I’m in love._

Rei briefly introduced Makoto to the new band member and Nagisa introduced himself to Rei and Sousuke.

“You guys want drinks?” Rei asked.

“We’ll get them!” Nagisa offered, pulling an apprehensive Haru by the sleeve after taking drink orders.

The males sneaked their way between bodies at the bar, and Nagisa parroted the lengthy drink order to the bartender while sliding him his ID. He then stopped a moment to think, “Annnnnd….” He sang, drumming his fingers on his chin, “two shots of pineapple upside down cake, and two shots of whatever my gorgeous friend here would like.”

“Uhh…” the younger male was caught off guard when the bartender looked at him expectantly. Haru felt heat creep its way to his face as he struggled to ignore the fact that he was just called ‘gorgeous’, and wracked his brain to remember the types of alcohol that people typically drank in shot-form, “Um..Jack Daniels?”

“My my, Haru-chan – so manly.”

The males stood in silence as the bartender poured Haru’s simple order and mixed Nagisa’s much more colorful, complex request. The younger man moved to take one of the shots after the bartender had presented them, but was halted by a grip to his forearm.

“Wait! It’s bad luck not to drink to something! We have to do this right! We’re doing this one first, anyway.” The blond slid one of the brightly colored glasses towards the younger male, who was looking at the other’s hand still resting on his arm. “Trust me. You’re not going to be able to enjoy it after…that.” He pointed to one of the other glasses full of brown liquid. “So,” the graduate student held the shot up dramatically and leaned in closer, dropping his voice, “what do we drink to tonight?”

Haru blinked dumbly, feeling overly aware of their close proximity in the crowded bar. He chewed on his lip nervously and averted his gaze from twinkling pink eyes while he tried to come up with something that didn’t sound completely stupid.

“To…um…” he fingered the rim of the shot glass.

“I’ve got it!” the blond interrupted, placing a hand on the other’s shoulder before leaning up to deliver the toast directly into Haru’s ear, _oh god what is he doing. I’m dying. I’m going to die in this bar._ The comforting and strangely erotic scent of the male pervaded the student’s senses, causing his heart to skitter around in his chest.Haru held his breath as pink lips drew close, stopping millimeters from his ear before whispering, “To Haru-chan’s adorable blush.”

Haru exhaled in something between a gasp and a choke as the blond released him, smiling, and took his shot; humming in pleasure and licking his lips appreciatively, “it’s good! Try it!”   

The shaken male attempted to recover from the other’s casual display of flagrant seduction by downing the fruity shot in one fluid motion, which, to his surprise _was_ fantastically delicious. But he then made the mistake of desperately grabbing for the other shot and slamming it back. He gagged conspicuously as the bartender returned with the rest of their drinks.

“Mine was better.” The blond said after gracefully accepting the harsh shot, turning to the disgusted male with a wide smile. Nagisa opened a tab for the evening, paying for their first round, and the two students awkwardly carried three drinks each back to the table.

Per Nagisa’s suggestion, Haru slid into the booth next to Rin, effectively cutting off any chance of his escape, and the blond took a seat opposite him next to Makoto. It didn’t seem, however, that Haru was going to have to thwart any getaway attempts, as the two men beside him were entrenched in a spirited conversation, poking and nudging each other playfully.

Haru sat silently after immediately chugging half of his…whatever drink he ordered that tasted like bubbly garbage, and listened to Makoto ask Nagisa questions about his program at school, and Nagisa inquire about Rei’s musical pursuits. The effect of the alcohol began to gradually slither its way through his skull, and a warmth seeped into his abdomen and radiated to his limbs as his friends chatted. He felt…not terrible.

“Haru?”

“Hm? Uh, what?”

“I asked how you met Nagisa.” Rei repeated, adjusting his glasses.

“Oh…he. Uh—“ Haru’s eyes flicked to the blond who was sipping some fruity beverage through a straw and staring rather intensely at Sousuke and Rin as they flirted.      

“We met in the psych lab. He offered to give me a ride home after the whole car thing went down.”

“I see,” Rei glanced at Makoto, smiling slyly. “Is that all?”

“You asked how we met,” Haru hissed, “he offered to help with—“

“I’m sorry, but what are you doing?” Rin suddenly snapped at Nagisa, who remained unfazed and continued to sip his drink innocently.

“Listening to your voices.” He replied bluntly.

Sousuke and Rin exchanged confused looks and Haru leaned onto the table interestedly.

“Why..?” The redhead frowned.

“Well!” the older male slapped his hands down on the table, “I’m glad you asked! A study was recently published that found that people manipulate their voices based on their relationship or intentions with person they are speaking with, and they actually don’t even realize it! But the study was done on straight couples…so…I guess I was just curious if the same could be found with…” he flicked his wrist femininely and went back to casually sipping his drink, never taking his eyes off of the two men.

A sharp laugh flew past Haru’s lips; glancing at his friend, he wondered if Rin would be the first human in history to actually die of embarrassment; Sousuke on the other hand looked genuinely amused. Makoto and Rei also enjoyed a laugh at the expense of their mortified friend, but quickly resumed their previous conversations.

_This guy is amazing._

Haru looked at the man sitting across from him and took a moment to admire his features. His full, perfect lips curled into an easy smile as their eyes locked; his eyes, _my god his eyes_ , sparkled with a mirth reminiscent of…of—Haru wasn’t good with analogies—the man’s eyes were fucking majestic. His hair shone with the same luminosity as it did the night they went for coffee and it looked oh-so touchable. The fine contours of his jawline drew captivated blue eyes towards a chin that punctuated a flawless heart-shaped face, which gave way to a delectably creamy, exposed throat.

Dazed and tipsy, the student leaned his chin onto his hand and stared at the older male, who was now playing with his straw with slender fingers and returning Haru’s dreamy gaze. Blue eyes traveled downward and fixated on how the green scarf hung low on a slender neck, exposing the only collar bones Haru had ever noticed on another human being. He had no idea that bones could be so painfully enticing, and he imagined how the skin would taste if he pressed his lips along that flawless ridge—what noises he would emit if he traced it with his tongue. Haru bit his lip as he began to lose himself within his hazy mind, the whirling activity of the bar falling away completely as he pictured himself pulling the scarf from trembling shoulders to expose more appetizing flesh that he could grace his palms over, teasing the other male with faint, barely discernable touches; a small body beneath him, skin achingly sensitive and dark eyes that pleaded for anything that the male was willing to give.

“Hey.”

 Haru visibly jumped when Nagisa lightly brushed the back of his hand with his fingers. Without thinking, he reached his own fingers towards the other but curled them back into his palm at the last second.

“Yeah?”

“What were you just thinking about?”

 _Careful now, you’re getting stupid._ “You’re incredibly beautiful.”

… _Oops._

The blond giggled and put his chin in his hand and looked away towards the bar; then something happened that Haru never expected to see in all of his life—Nagisa blushed.

Just faintly; or maybe it was his imagination, but it was enough to make Haru’s heart beat out of rhythm.

 _So he_ can _get flustered. Interesting._

The band finished their set and took their time unplugging various equipment while the other band began their setup, allowing bar patrons the opportunity to converse at a much lower volume.

“Be right back, gentleman.” Nagisa said as he stood. Haru watched him elegantly weave his way through the crowd before Rin nudged him.

“What?”

“Are you going to follow him?”

“What? No! Why!”

“We all just heard you call him beautiful. You sort of yelled it.” Makoto said with a chuckle.

“So? I’m not going to jump him in a bar men’s room. Or wherever he went.”

“What if he’s waiting for you! Imagine him anxiously awaiting your arrival, touching himself to the thought of your hands all over—“

“Don’t project your weird bathroom fantasies on me!” Haru hissed at the redhead, though the thought of the graduate student touching himself _was_ rather enjoyable.

“I don’t have bathroom fantasies!” Rin shot an anxious look at the large male beside him.

“He didn’t go to the restroom, he’s right there.” Rei acknowledged the small figure leaning on the bar.

“Aw look, Haru’s disappointed.” The redhead quipped.

“Projection, Rin, projection.” He replied, tipping back his glass and finishing the rest of his drink. He was about to walk to the bar himself when he saw the smiling blond returning…with a tray of bright green shots.

“You guys looked like you could use something tasty.” He said, presenting the glasses, “Girl scout cookies!”

“Do you consume anything that isn’t straight up sugar?” Haru teased.

“Want to find out?”

“What’s in this?” Rei asked, peering skeptically at the opaque liquid.

“Bailey’s, something green, and something else.”

“Ahem—“ Haru cleared his throat, holding up his shot like the tipsy asshole he was, “I was recently informed that it’s bad luck not to toast – I say we drink to…to Rin’s bathroom fetish!”

The males laughed and cheered to Rin, who allowed himself a small titter of a laugh as well in spite of the red that painted his face.

“Rin has a bathroom fetish?” the blond asked, licking the last drops of the sweet liquid from his fingers.

“Mmm. Not really. Well maybe. He thought you went to the bathroom and wanted me to follow you.” Haru explained, buzzed and insolent.

The thrums of guitars suddenly filled the room as the next band warmed up their instruments.

 “There’s always next time.” The childish male replied with a wink, “I thought I saw someone I knew so I went to go say hi.”

It became difficult to hear one another again as the band’s set began, and Nagisa rose from his seat and tugged at Haru’s arm, “Wanna go watch?” he asked, gesturing towards the stage.

The male nodded and followed his small companion towards the clamor of heavy guitars. He ran his eyes up and down the form in front of him, wondering how his attraction to the blond had escalated to the level it had in only a week. He understood what it was like to lust after someone, and he knew what it felt like to genuinely enjoy the company of another person, but never before had he experienced _both_ simultaneously.

Finding a spot near the stage, the boys stood and watched the singer throw himself around the stage as harsh drums met with the shriek of screaming guitars. _What is this shit?_ Haru mused at the tuneless noise. It really didn’t matter, though. He was standing close enough to the blond to where their arms were touching through the fabric of their shirts, and despite the racing of his heart, Haru was happy that he was getting the chance to get to know this weird guy. He glanced at the graduate student out of the corner of his eye, curious if he was actually enjoying this chaotic display of music.

To his surprise, the blond was looking back at him.

“ **What kind of music is this**?” he yelled to the younger male.

“ **I think it’s experimental metal. I think I hate it.** ”

 The man nodded and turned his attention back to the stage.

The song segued into something slightly less discordant and Haru again peeked at the male beside him—then he remembered something.

Haru leaned close to the blond’s ear. “What did you mean by ‘an experiment’?” He shouted over the din.

“What?”

“You. In the car, when you grabbed my hand, you said it was an experiment. What did that mean?”

Nagisa pulled back a moment to regard the male with smiling eyes, practically giddy with mischief, before leaning up to drape a thin arm over the other’s shoulders, pulling him close against his body. The hum of a low chuckle against his ear sent sparks down Haru’s spine, and the tickle of warm breath made his heart thump and his stomach flip over. The scent of fresh laundry, strawberries, and something undeniably masculine that could only be described as Haru’s own animalistic sense of the man’s pheromones dulled his senses, and it took all of his self-control not to bury his face in the thick hair and inhale deeply. Haru felt a gentle hand shift to his chest, as if the man were afraid that he would attempt to flee at any second—as if his trembling legs could carry him anywhere right now. An intake of breath near the student’s ear made his vision swim and his cock twitch between his thighs before a sultry voice murmured, “Are you sure you want to know?”

Haru’s breath hitched as he felt blood begin to pool low in his abdomen. He licked his lips and replied with a gravelly voice, “Yes. Please.” He didn’t care if it sounded like he was begging, _I would get down on my knees if you just asked right now._

The smaller male brushed his nose against the shell of the student’s ear and emitted a soft giggle before whispering, “I was taking your pulse.” 

Haru’s throat bobbed with the difficult task of swallowing as he recalled the frenzied hammering that overwhelmed his chest the moment the blond called his name in the car. The male’s mouth dropped open and a small noise escaped, lost in the acoustic disarray of heavy music. The hand on his chest migrated lower—just a few inches—as the smaller male positioned himself flush against his arm, and he breathed out another quiet laugh against the student’s ear, “What would I find if I took it now, hmm, Haru? I wonder…I would just have to…” The dumbstruck male’s throat trembled with a groan as the man’s tongue flicked gently against his earlobe and scorching lips descended feather-light down his neck—too light to confirm contact.

_Oh fuck._

Lids fluttered closed to conceal blown pupils as the student shivered, his nerves electrified and susceptible as his body responded to the teasing assault. Thoughts muddled slowly within his sluggish brain as he fought to keep his knees from buckling, _why…oh fuck how does he…even…just hearing him say my name makes me…my name. Wait._

_My name._

Haru’s eyes flew open as he canted backwards, abruptly separating himself from the graduate student. He staggered back another step to gain distance as a look of stunned confusion crossed the blond’s face, eyes wide and unfocused. His eyebrows crinkled in concern as he recovered from the sudden action, his mouth opening and closing in an attempt to understand what spurred this unexpected change in behavior. His face eventually dissolved into a puzzled smile as the raven-haired male fixed him with an accusatory gaze laced with anger and pained confusion.

“I know what you’re doing.” Something shattered within him as she shouted over the music.

The smile vanished and pink eyes blinked, “what?”

Haru read the unheard question on blond’s lips as he took another sharp step backwards. He watched the graduate student open his mouth to perhaps repeat the question, but the younger male turned on his heel and wove his way through the crowd; he grabbed his chest where the smaller hand had just been, a dull pain creeping through his ribcage.

_Fuck fuck fuck I’m so stupid. Goddamn social psych bastard and his stupid sexual shit fucking FUCK._

The student berated himself harshly for allowing himself to get swept away in the man’s game.

_I’m such a goddamn idiot. How did I not see it before. That stupid nickname…fuck. FUCK. He was fucking STUDYING me._

A heavy wooden door crashed open as Haru burst onto the porch at the back of the bar, the cold air filling his aching lungs as he stalked to the railing. He leaned his elbows onto the wood and put his face in his hands, exhaling loudly.

“You okay?”

Tired blue eyes rolled to acknowledge the owner of the deep voice. Strong arms crossed over a solid chest and aquamarine eyes looked expectantly at the student from across the small, minimally occupied porch. A wisp of smoke curled from the end of a lit cigarette perched between full lips as Sousuke moved towards the upset student.

“May I?” Haru gestured to the item drawn from lips to settle between the man’s fingers, earning him an inquisitive smirk before the taller male flipped open the pack and handed him a cigarette, leaning in close to light it for him. “Um.. yeah.” Smoke left his lips, “No. I don’t know.”

Sousuke scratched his brow with the back of his thumbnail and Haru stood there smoking and silent, feeling slightly awkward. He finished most of his cigarette before he spoke again.

“So,” the shorter male began, needing a distraction, “Rin, huh?”

“Yeah, Rin.”the other replied expressionlessly, joining Haru with his back against the railing.

Haru considered this for a moment as he breathed in the warm smoke, relishing the mild buzz he received from the unfamiliar rush of nicotine.

“Do you really like him?”

“What kind of answer do you want?”

“An honest one would be nice.”

“Then tell me – how exactly is it your business?”

Anger flared inside Haru. He narrowed his eyes and stepped toward the much larger male. He was hurt; he didn’t give a shit right now.

“How is the happiness of my best friend not my fucking business?”

Sousuke stared down into fiery blue eyes with a look of both intrigue and enmity; their noses almost touching as the student lifted his chin, fearless.

They stood staring each other down, earning concerned looks from the few bystanders milling around, who quickly fled to the inside of the bar to avoid the impending altercation.

Haru’s breath came out in steamy huffs in the chilly night air, adrenaline causing goosebumps to prickle his arms and a sweat to dampen his forehead. _I will murder you you giant fuck, fucking try anything I will destroy you._

Surprisingly, Sousuke took a small step back and rubbed his eyes, “you’re right…I’m sorry. I—he talked about you a lot tonight…I guess I just thought that maybe you guys—“

“You thought wrong.”

Sousuke paused and stared at the end of his cigarette, “never?”

“Never.”

“…how?”

“How? What the fuck do you mean how?”

“He’s just so…” he trailed off.

“Affectionate? Sexy? An insufferable douche?”

Sousuke shot him a glare.

“Sorry. We aren’t attracted to each other, and I don’t really give a shit if you don’t believe me. But it might mean something to _him_ if you did.”

The large male sighed, “Right. You and that little blond looked pretty cozy, anyway.”

Haru looked away, “Anyway,” he continued, leaning back against the railing, “Rin might be kind of oblivious sometimes, but he’s honest about his feelings. Hah…maybe _too_ honest actually. If he was talking about me it’s just because he was nervous” _should I be saying this?_ “um...compulsive talking is sometimes a consequence of anxiety. Well, sometimes anxious people don’t talk at all. Obviously. Sometimes excessive talking is actually an attempt to bond with others, especially when they’re nervous.”

Sousuke smirked.

Haru dropped his shoulders and let out a genuine laugh, “he seems to like you. I mean, I don’t believe in the whole love at first sight thing—“ Sousuke cocked an eyebrow, “—that’s not what I meant. He…uhh…he’s never been with a…guy before.”

The large male nodded while taking a final drag of his cigarette and flicking it off the porch. His gaze rested somewhere past Haru’s shoulder for a brief moment before he licked his lips cleared his throat, “Neither have I. Drink?” He nodded towards the bar.

Haru hesitated. He didn’t want to see Nagisa. He was embarrassed for feeling so upset, and he was embarrassed because he knew he was going to let this bother him for the next few days. He was angry at himself for letting someone hold any kind of power over him, let alone someone he barely knew. Haru hated feeling stupid more than anything, and he hated anyone who made him feel stupid, and at that moment he hated himself.

And he was hurt because, _I liked the butterflies._ _I liked him._

“Drink. Yes.”

The two men entered the humid chaos of the bar. Kisumi had joined the rest of their friends at the booth while the two men had smoked outside, but Nagisa was not among them. Haru slid into the seat next to Makoto who was chatting with Rin while Rei got up to get them another round, allowing Sousuke to take a seat next to the redhead. Rin gave the two newcomers a questioning look but Haru waved dismissively with a sad smile.

“Where’s Nagisa?” Makoto turned to his friend.

“Don’t know.” He replied shortly.

“Did…something happen?”

“Nothing happened. What time do you guys go on?” he asked Sousuke.

“Half hour. Momo still isn’t here…actually I better call him.”

Rin watched the large male leave with a look of pure adoration before turning to his sullen friend, “are you okay?”

“Who’s Nagisa?” Kisumi asked, sipping his beer.

“Yeah I’ll be fine. I just…realized something.”

“Are you going to elaborate?”

“Not yet.”

“Who are you guys talking about!” Kisumi was getting annoyed.

“This little blond boy…man that came with Haru.”

“You mean that guy?” the pink haired male pointed to the bar with his beer, “he caught my eye when I came in…he doesn’t look old enough to be in here.”

Sure enough, there at the bar stood the blond boy in question, holding a glass of something very colorful and talking animatedly with a very familiar figure—

_Holy shit that’s Levi._


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What does an impending fuck taste like?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> 
> 
> So...I got a little conceptually adventurous (read- "i'm out of control") with this chapter as far as the introduction of a new character goes. Sorry if it's a disaster. Don't worry, it probably won't be tied in to the plot, but...eh. Maybe you'll like it? Who knows.
> 
> Oh, and I also did a lot with music in this chapter. _Describing ___music is incredibly wacky and difficult, and I did all I could. I am by no means a composer, so I had to listen to a bunch of shit to figure out what I was trying to convey. Once Rei and Sousuke's band starts the second part of their set, this is what goes down:
> 
> [The first 30ish seconds of this](https://youtu.be/ip4fnmHOpIo?t=4s)(all credit goes to that guy)  
> Which then segues into something like this (it is a string quartet cover of Tool's Forty-six and Two, all credit to those guys and Tool.)  
> [And then 13 seconds into the above song, this part starts](https://youtu.be/4Yw8aaqnnrg?t=13s) (Drum part of Tool's Forty-six and Two, all credit to that pretty lady and Tool)
> 
> The above songs are just a rough guide for what I was trying to go for. It was tough. mmmm...enjoy.
> 
> [They also play a straight up cover of Nine Inch Nails' Hurt (imagine this sort of thing)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozNEdMcWZvQ)
> 
> [And then this song pops up at one point too on Rin's iPod](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADLJN3fUAX4)\- (It's A Familiar Taste from The Social Network soundtrack)
> 
> Why did I do this? School sucks and this brought me pleasure.
> 
>  
> 
> **Oh, oh hey...psst- I also wrote a one-shot about a certain relationship that comes to light in this chapter. You can find the link in the notes at the end. You know, if you're into that sort of thing.**

* * *

 

Haru stood dumbstruck as he gaped at the two men across the crowded bar. He didn’t know when he had gotten to his feet, but suddenly Makoto was grabbing at his arm in a frantic attempt to keep him at the table.

“Hey—HEY. HARU. What? What’s the matter?!”

“Ow fuck. Let go.”

“No! Where are you going looking like that?”

“I said LET. GO.” He wrenched his arm free from his concerned friend, but remained where he stood.

A flicker of hurt crossed Makoto’s worried face, and he realized that the others had turned to him with their own looks of confusion. He glanced between his friends and the bar, taking a step towards the latter, but then conceded to the guilt from snapping at his friend. He dropped back into the booth.

“I—I’m sorry.” He suddenly felt very tired. He put his face in his hands and mumbled into his palms, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Makoto looked at his friend hunched over at the table, then peered with furrowed brows in the direction of the bar in an effort to understand what just happened. His green eyes widened as they fell on two short males in the midst of a heated conversation, “How does he know Professor Ackerman?”

“It’s DOCTOR Ackerman now, and I don’t know.” The male said with a sigh, “They probably know each other from school…they OBVIOUSLY know each other from school, but I didn’t know they were _that_ …close…” Blue eyes rolled to view the two men who looked to be very friendly towards one another, but flickered elsewhere after only a moment. _I’m so stupid._

“They’re not…you know…” Rin asked, looking at Makoto.

Makoto shrugged.

“But…Nagisa, he…” the redhead looked rapidly between Haru and the bar, “he seemed so…”

“Please stop, Rin. It doesn’t matter.”

“It DOES matter! You clearly _like_ him!”

“It does. not. matter. I don’t.”

Rin stared at the blond in anger as he chatted with the professor, narrowing his eyes when he turned slightly towards their table. His animosity immediately abated, “Haru…I don’t think—he doesn’t look very happy.”

 “I don’t care.”

“He’s leaving! He’s walking away! Quick go talk to him!”

Haru’s gaze drifted back towards the bar to witness the blond make his way through the crowd in the direction of the porch, noticing that he didn’t bother to cast a passing glance in his direction. The student pretended like it didn’t bother him, that it didn’t matter, _because it really doesn’t,_ and turned back to his friend and shrugged. Who was he to give a shit about who some guy he just met talked to at a bar? Besides, Levi wasn’t someone he ever had actual feelings for. And it certainly wasn’t like he expected anything to really happen with Nagisa. So what if Levi found a new fuck toy? It wasn’t any of his business. It wasn’t. And it didn’t matter. And he definitely didn’t just imagine the graduate student bent over a desk crying out in ecstasy while Levi fucked him without mercy. Nope—he didn’t imagine that at all.

_Oh well. It was nice not being bored for a little while._

“Okay fine. _I_ will talk to him.” The redhead moved to stand but Haru jumped to his feet.

“Stop.” He said, taking a step away from the table; but to the surprise of his friends he did not follow Nagisa, but instead walked straight to the bar.

He slid fluidly up to the bar beside Levi, placing his elbows on the wood and turning to the man who noticed him out of the corner of his eye. The two men nodded in silent acknowledgement.

The student stood there wordlessly, unconcerned with the fact that he had no real reason or plan for approaching the man with whom he once shared a profoundly sexual relationship. Levi set down his drink and waved over the bartender, who nodded before reaching for a bottle on the top shelf and poured two small glasses of amber liquid; Levi passed one to Haru.

They raised their glasses to one another and drained them instantly.

“Did I just drink charcoal?” Haru asked his empty glass.

“Mmmhm.  How have you been?”

“I’ve been better.”

Levi nodded and traced the rim of his empty glass. He turned and rested his back against the bar.

Haru turned as well, catching the eye of Rin as he walked towards the porch. His eyes flicked back to the table where Sousuke presently greeting a young, dark-haired boy who had just walked up to the booth.

Beside him, Levi’s eyes were also trained on the table; a fleeting, dreamy expression that Haru had never seen before crossed the man’s typically passive face.

“I was sort of surprised when I stopped hearing from you.” The student said, more conversational than genuinely interested.

“Things sometimes happen.” The professor replied, still staring in the direction of the table.

_What a fucking weirdo._

Levi bit his lip before Haru blurted, “How do you know him? Nagisa. How do you know…Nagisa?”

Levi grabbed his drink and arched an eyebrow as he turned to face the male, “You really don’t know?”

“I could guess…” the student was suddenly sick to his stomach for the first time ever after remembering his own relationship with the man.

Perfectly manicured fingers pinched the bridge of a nose between furrowed brows, “Christ, Nanase. He’s my teaching assistant.”

Haru’s stomach bottomed out, “Your—what! How!”

“What do you mean how?”

The student blinked dumbly, “I guess I don’t know what I mean.”

“What the fuck did you do to him?”

“Um. What?”

“The kid looks miserable. I saw you two together earlier and he certainly didn’t look miserable then.”

Haru scoffed, “No, I suppose he wouldn’t look miserable playing with one of his lab rats.”

Levi rolled his eyes, “College kids are so dramatic.”

“I’m not being _dramatic_! I thought that he…” he suddenly felt dizzy, “I thought he liked me…but he was just… _observing_ me.”

Levi narrowed his eyes, “What the fuck are you talking about?”

The student hesitated for half a second, wondering if perhaps he was being just a little too chatty with a guy whose dick he—eh fuck it, “He was studying my reaction…to something. That’s all it was. Besides, it doesn’t matter that much. I just met him last week…it’s not like—“

“Wait. Last week?”

Haru nodded.

Levi looked at him for a moment, seemingly trying to process something. He shook his head, “You’re not as smart as I thought you were.”

“I suggest you think about your little problem like a rational adult and then go talk to him.” The professor continued, “I need him to grade exams tomorrow. I can’t have him all mopey because some dumb kid broke his heart.”

Haru was ready to fire back a retort, but the look in the professor’s steely eyes betrayed his flippant words; he looked genuinely concerned, almost caring, _or maybe I’m just drunk._

“Whatever you say. Thanks for the drink.” Haru stepped away from the bar, “Why are you here anyway?”

A pause. Then a nod, “Sousuke.”

Haru’s head snapped toward the table where Sousuke was still talking with the boy from before. His eyes widened in brief understanding, but he turned slowly back around to face the professor, his face screwed up in confusion.

Levi sighed in annoyance, “I’m dating his cousin.”

 Now it made sense—why he stopped hearing from him; why he hadn’t been immediately dragged by his hair to have his dick swallowed in the back of Levi’s car. Not that he was expecting that right now, but if he was going off past experiences…

Okay, maybe he had expected that just a little.

 Haru smirked, _I think this is the most I’ve ever spoken to him._

His eyes darted from Levi to the boy again, who had just turned towards them and was now smiling bashfully as Levi eyed him, biting his lip.

Haru realized he should probably leave. Quickly.

“Wow. Okay, well thank you. Again. Um. Enjoy all of… _that_.”

“Mmhm. Definitely.” He said, eye-fucking a very flustered looking boy from across the bar, “And you,” he said with a dramatic change of expression, “stop acting like a little girl and figure out your little problem. My TA is a _person_. Act accordingly.”

“What does that mean?”

Levi just waved dismissively as he went back to staring at the boy across the room who was struggling to focus on the conversation he was now having with Rei.

Haru sighed and shook his head. He glanced towards the back door leading to the porch, _He’s a person…act accordingly. The fuck?_

He decided to think about what that could possibly mean as he unsteadily made his way to the bathroom.

_He’s a person he’s a person he’s a person well no fucking shit you vague asshole. That doesn’t mean anything!_

“Hey.”

Haru looked up from washing his hands to see Rin with…a very bizarre look on his face.

“What’s wrong with your face?”

“That’s not a nice way to greet someone who just saved your relationship.” He said with a shitty grin.

“There is no _relationship._ ”

“Future relationship?”

Haru grunted and turned off the water, “No. What? What are you talking about? I was just his little science project. I’m not into that.”

“I’m sorry, but since fucking when are _you_ not into science projects?”

A line began to form behind Haru at the sink so the two males chose to take their somewhat public conversation to a more private location outside the bathroom.

“Since I wasn’t informed that I was going to be manipulated by sexual advances and flirtatious behavior by someone who I…ugh. He was just studying me. I’m over it.”

“Okay, so maybe he was testing something…” Rin looked around, “but maybe that wasn’t all it was. Did you think of that? Why are you being so stubborn?”

“Stubborn is just another word for ‘stupid’—“

“Which is what you are!” The redhead interrupted, “He _likes_ you! Why can’t it have been both? Both testing an idea _and_ being into you?”

“I don’t think—“

“HARU!” Rin grabbed his shoulders, “STOP IT! Listen to people when they talk! What if you fell in love with someone, who, like…um…had that one thing. You know, that thing in the brain…starts with an ‘a’, that makes people be afraid of stuff? What if you met someone who didn’t have that!”

“You mean the amygda--”

“Whatever! I don’t know! But what if you fell madly in love with a dude who couldn’t feel fear? Wouldn’t that be fascinating to you? Wouldn’t you want to test that every once in a while? Like, throw spiders on him or something, I don’t know. You’d still love him though, right?”

“…um yeah, I guess. He’s not in love with me.”

“Jesus.” Rin released him, “Do you really have to get so bent out of shape over the fact that he just wanted to confirm your interest in him? Although it does seem a little weird…taking someone’s pulse rather than just asking…but you even said yourself that he was weird…but come on, he’s still human. What kind of soulless piece of shit could look at you like that without at least feeling _something_.”

_Oh yeah. He’s a person. Is that what that meant?_

“So wait, he told you what he was doing?”

“Yeah…he did. He said a lot of things I didn’t understand, but I definitely understood that he likes you. A lot.”

“Uh huh.” Haru leaned back into the wall and put his face in his hands. “What about the name thing?”

“What name thing?”

“He didn’t say anything about that stupid nickname?”

“Um. No?”

“He didn’t tell you everything then.”

“There is NOTHING to tell, you stupid mother fucker! He likes you. He’s…really sad.”

Hazy blue eyes looked up, “He’s sad?” The thought of that made Haru’s chest ache, and a sense of dread began to well up inside of him.

“See? You care. You were obviously wrong about what you think he was trying to do.”

“Fuck.”

“Yes ‘fuck’. I saw the way you were looking at him…no one needs to take your pulse to figure out that you like him, too.”

The inkling of dread evolved into a mild panic as he realized that his friend was right—he DID like him, and he was STUPID. So painfully fucking stupid. And dramatic. Levi was right. Liking people is stressful.

“What do I do?”

“Come on.”

Rin pulled Haru by the arm through the crowded room.

Nagisa was seated next to Makoto, twirling a straw through a bright drink and distractedly smiling at some story that Kisumi was telling.

The smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“Have a nice chat with your _professor_ there?” Makoto asked as they approached the group. Nagisa busied himself with scooping a cherry out of his glass.

“Yes.” he said shortly, looking down at the blond as he fiddled with the fruit. Pink eyes peered up at him from beneath thick lashes. “Can you come with me a second?” Haru tried not to waver, in both voice and posture. “When do you guys go on?” he asked Rei as Nagisa stood.

“Momo’s just bringing his stuff in through the back.” Rei said, “We should go help him actually.”

“It will take us a while to set up, too. I still have to get my standup out of Eren’s truck.” Sousuke said, removing himself from the booth.

Haru nodded his head toward the porch and Nagisa followed closely behind.

The minute the boys emerged into the frosty air, the smaller male began softly, “I’m sorry—I didn’t mean to cross a line with you.” He said to the ground, hands fidgeting with his scarf, “If I made you uncomfortable…I apologize and I won’t let it happen again. I guess I just misread—“

“Nagisa, wait.” Haru interrupted, holding out his hands, “I should be apologizing. To you.” He looked away awkwardly when the blond lifted his head, “I…uh…wow. I don’t know how to say this without sounding like a complete idiot. Which I am, so I SHOULD sound like a complete idiot.”

The blond arched an eyebrow.

“I was…mistaken…I thought that you were just, um…testing me? Using me? Sorry I’m kind of drunk and. The words…so many words. Fuck.” He ran a hand through his hair in exasperation, “This is going to sound so stupid, and I can’t believe I even thought of this as a possibility…school is really getting to me, I think. Ugh. When you grabbed my hand in the car, you said my name. My real name. Not…the other thing. When we were standing watching the band you said it again…and your lips were…” a shiver zipped through him, “And you’re so weird and smart and I thought that maybe you had this idea for a study where you manipulate physiological responses with novel auditory stimuli—“

“Novel auditory stimuli? You _are_ drunk.” Nagisa stepped forward tentatively, “Hold on, you actually thought I was doing something like that…well. Actually. Wow, that’s a fantastic idea. Remind me about that later if I forget. But…I wasn’t doing that. I think you might be over analyzing things…” he rubbed the back of his neck and looked away, his breath visible in the cold air. “But I _was_ curious about your physiological response towards me. You seem to get flustered so easily, and someone like me doesn’t get many opportunities to experience that sort of thing first hand.”

_Someone like you? What? I find that hard to believe._

“It was just pure curiosity though. I wasn’t trying to manipulate you. Actually, I was really excited to try to get your pulse in the café! But I got distracted.”

“By what?”

Nagisa grinned, “Nothing. You.”

“What were you testing, exactly?”

“Just your heart rate. Even though I didn’t have a baseline…I guess it’s safe to assume that you’re not constantly in a state of tachycardia.” He shrugged. “It’s also really easy to see when your pupils dilate.”

Haru wanted to die.

“So, I didn’t make you uncomfortable then?” Nagisa glanced up.

“’Uncomfortable’ might not be the word I would use...” Haru mumbled, but then smiled. “Aren’t you supposed to be an expert in that anyway? Body language and all that shit?”

“Mmm, not yet Haru-chan. I don’t have that degree. But how badly do your friends want to fuck each other? Seriously. I could practically taste it.”

“And what does an impending fuck taste like?”

Nagisa blushed up nicely to that question, just as the strum of a guitar oozed through the walls.

“Shall we?” The student asked.

“What. Fuck?”

Haru choked on nothing, “N-no! Them! The show?”

“So…everything is okay?” Nagisa asked.

Haru took a deep breath and nodded.

“Then let’s go,” The other giggled, grabbing his arm and pulling it to his chest for warmth as they walked, “Mmm…you’re always so warm.”

_That’s your fault you demon._ “Why didn’t you tell me you were Levi’s TA?”

“Wasn’t it more fun finding out this way?” The blond mused.

Enveloped again within the heat of the bar, the males edged their way to where Makoto, Kisumi, and Rin stood near the stage.

Rei and Momo were plugging in various microphones, amps, pedals, and keyboards around a large drum set, while Sousuke busied himself with tuning his upright bass, electric bass, and electric guitar. The dark haired boy that Haru had seen earlier, who he now knew to be Sousuke’s cousin, arranged a cello and violin gently on their stands off to the side before hopping off the stage into the crowd. _And I thought Nagisa looked young…Jesus, Levi._  

“That’s Momotarou with the keyboard. He’ll also be playing the drums eventually.” Haru explained, “He sort of reminds me of you…only more excitable.”

“Wow. He’s really cute, Haru-chan. I’m flattered.”

_I’m not talking anymore._

“This is going to be interesting.” Nagisa exclaimed, eyeing the classical instruments.

“It always is.”

The screech of a microphone signaled the beginning of the set, and Rei introduced himself and the band.

“He plays the regular guitar too!?” Haru pictured Rin fanning himself as he squealed, “I need another drink for this.” He tried to stumble off but Nagisa caught him.

“And miss his first song? I don’t think so!” Rin shifted anxiously, looking from Nagisa to the stage.

“Oh for fucks sake I’ll get it.” Haru grumbled. He wove his way to the bar as the mix of a thrashing guitar, the electronic hum of the keyboard, and Rei’s screaming growls filled the building. _How did he ever learn to sing like that._

Haru ordered some random wine and returned quickly. The redhead grasped the glass and inhaled it all once with a pained gaze trained on the guitar player; Nagisa patted him on the back.

The boys stood and watched the excitement on stage; the symphonic drone of the keyboard complemented the intricate wavering of Sousuke’s guitar, while Rei’s vocals undulated freely and the crowd lost themselves in the throes of the thermionic chaos. The warm amalgamate of synthetic harmonization vibrated through Haru’s core, and his eyes drifted to the energetic keyboardist as his feet danced to activate numerous pedals, sustaining elaborate refrains to accompany the rhythmic mosaic.

The student peeked at his blond companion, curious to see if he was enjoying the artistic display, and was met with an expression of fascinated intrigue. Haru felt a swell of pride; knowing that he could introduce this tempest of a man to something unique and stimulating filled him with an elevated sense of connectedness, to both the beautiful man beside him and to the friends who seamlessly accepted him into their group.       

He turned his attention back to the stage; the hint of a smile playing on his lips.

The music raged, people bobbed and danced and whirled in the thick haze of damp insobriety, and Haru looked away from the pandemonium on stage again only when he felt Nagisa nudge his arm. He glanced down and followed the direction of his gaze – Makoto and Kisumi were sharing a very impassioned, _very public_ kiss, which, as Haru watched amused, slowly developed into a vaguely lewd production as hands groped and hips began to grind.

Haru snorted and shrugged as he looked back at the blond, “ **Should we do something?** ”

Nagisa made an interested face.

“ **What! Ah—NO N-Not like _that_.** ”

He shook his head, smiling.

On cue, Makoto and Kisumi separated; the pink haired male grasping the other by the hand and pulling him purposefully through the crowd.

The activity on stage stilled as the last chords faded out, and Rei spoke into the microphone, “We have a special guest here tonight to accompany us during the last portion of our set. Sousuke’s cousin has agreed to play the cello for us – Eren?”

A smiling, wide-eyed young man extracted himself from the crowd and took the stage as Rei collected his violin and Sousuke moved behind his upright bass. Momo made some adjustments to his keyboard and carried two pedals with him behind the sprawling drum set, and donned a pair of oversized headphones which he plugged into a switchboard to his left.

Musicians took their places and lights dimmed to black. The sudden melancholy bellow of a synthesized organ rolled hauntingly through the dim space, silencing the sundry chatter of the shadowed listeners until the only discernable sounds were that of the spectral melody.

And then - Rei’s violin pierced the mournful dirge, contrasting the grieving tune with one of fleeting optimism; the silvery tendrils of the tremolo extended through the lightless room, granting the listeners an auditory glimpse of the melodious euphoria caressing the soul of the man whose fingers could so deftly evoke raw emotion from his instrument. A maudlin crescendo penetrated the dusky space before descending into a rancor of baleful utterance, plunging the once hopeful melody into a din of forlorn longing.  

The somber refrain abruptly halted; and a blue spotlight sliced the darkness to illuminate the cellist, separating him from the musicians still cast in shadow. His bow graced the strings in a bouncing detaché, and nimble fingers danced with practiced skill to superbly execute the introduction of their next piece. The male remained insolated beneath the light only briefly before Sousuke joined him under his own beam of sapphire incandescence, his bass thrumming with the deep rumblings of his accompaniment. At the skitter of a cymbal, the redheaded drummer joined his bandmates under the gloomy lights as the intricacy of the composition grew. The final performer emerged from the darkness below a radiant violet, his violin singing earnestly as he swayed in the orchestral fervor now playing at full intensity.

Haru looked to Rin who was positively salivating; he licked his parted lips and swallowed thickly, never once averting his gaze from the sight of the powerful male manipulating the strings—not even when Rei pirouetted off of one of the speakers. The overhead lights served to accentuate the bassist’s strong facial features as he bobbed and rolled to the pulsing cadence, and his eyes fell shut in inspired concentration. The man’s capable hands appeared to be to have been built specifically for the task of curving around the heavy wood of his instrument—and, yeah, Haru thought, the guy is hot.

The unusual fusion of musical genres captivated the audience as the performance raged on; many patrons from the bar area had come to enjoy the unique spectacle as well, and the band enjoyed the privilege of playing to a full room.

Lights flashed and bodies swayed as the musicians completed another piece. Momo resumed his position behind the keyboard for their final song, and the lights glowed a soft white from above.

The first notes of a tune shivered quietly from the string section; Nagisa looked at Haru as Momo’s fingers graced the keys in a familiar melody, “Hurt?” he asked, soundlessly mouthing the title of the song. Haru nodded.

At some point, Kisumi and Makoto reappeared next to Rin to watch the rest of the show; faces were flushed and dopey and clothes were only mildly disheveled.

_Hah. Bathroom fantasies._

The slow tempo of the song began to weigh heavy on Haru, and he suddenly realized how mentally exhausted he felt from the night’s drama. He looked down at the male beside him—a dreamy expression graced his face as he swayed his head slightly from side to side.

_Will we see each other after tonight?_

The hum of the final notes diminished and the audience cheered and clapped while Rei expressed his gratitude. Nagisa turned to the student next to him who was still peeking at him out of the corner of his eye while he clapped politely.

“You look like you have something to say.”

“Ah—no. Did you like it?”

The blond nodded happily, “Mmmhm. It was very unique!” He yawned and stretched, “Let’s go tell them how great they were before I fall over. I’m so sleepy.”

_Stop being so adorable. God._

They made their way to the stage with the rest of their friends—Rin somehow managed to get his hands on a few more glasses of wine and was pawing at Sousuke while he gushed over his performance. The bassist definitely did not mind.

After congratulations were made regarding the fantastic show, and Makoto covertly plucked Rin’s car keys from his pocket, they all said their goodbyes to the band members and to Kisumi before heading back out into the December night.

* * *

 

Haru dropped heavily against the backseat and rested his head against the cool window, reveling in the contrast in temperature between his alcohol-flushed face and the chilly glass. He cracked his tired eyes only when he felt the presence of Nagisa’s head in his lap after yanking off his scarf; his lithe legs curled up on the other side of the seat like a child resolved to nap the duration of a road trip.

“Nagisa…” Haru weakly mumbled in protest, eyes flitting toward the two men in the front seat as they turned onto the street and Makoto turned on Rin’s iPod.

“Hmm.” Was his only response.

Haru exhaled and closed his eyes once more as the song ‘A Familiar Taste’ filled the car. He was too tired to feel uncomfortable; Makoto was occupied with keeping a hilariously drunk and energetic Rin from yelling into his ear about Sousuke’s staggering masculinity, and he felt safe and warm and disconnected from the commotion. His heart thrummed peacefully in his chest for the first time that evening and he actually felt content.

As the rhythmic sound of tires-on-road blended with the chatter in the front, Haru savored the mild inebriation blanketing his body, and he allowed his mind the luxury of shutting down completely.

He didn’t know when it had started, or how he had made the decision to do so, but in a moment of lucidity he picked his head up when it occurred to him that he was lazily combing his fingers through Nagisa’s feather-soft hair. He stilled momentarily, taken aback by this involuntary act of tenderness.

“Mmm Haru, please don’t stop,” The blond breathed in a whisper, angling his head towards the retreating fingers, “That felt so nice.”

Breath hitched in self-awareness as his gaze fell on the profile of the angelic male curled onto his lap in the privacy of the back seat. Haru hesitated before gently settling his hand back into blond locks and willed himself to keep from trembling; he experimentally placed his fingers on the man’s forehead and gently brushed his hair from his face, rather than continuing to pet him like a dog. A contented sigh communicated to the nervous male that the gesture was appreciated and Nagisa nuzzled against Haru’s palm.

His fingers wandered in affectionate exploration within the silky mane, periodically evoking soft sighs and delicate moans from the object of their attention. Haru closed his eyes and leaned against the window once again; his heart was racing, but he was also oddly lulled from engaging in the soothing action. When he sensed the weight shift in his lap, he figured that Nagisa was readjusting and continued lightly stroking the blond once he had stilled.

Until he felt a warm hand glide onto his thigh.

 Haru had often heard about people ‘sobering instantly’ but he never understood the logistics of such an experience.

Until that moment.

The dullness that swam at the edge of his vision abruptly vanished, giving way to razor-sharp clarity. He could almost hear a rush as his consciousness surged back to magnify his senses, his neurons firing to alert his fatigued body to be ready for action. He tensed as adrenalin flooded his system and turned his veins to glass; he thickly swallowed to abate his thrashing heart as his eyes flew to his friends in the front seat.

“Shhh Haru….”

The small hand wandered until it found Haru’s own, entwining their fingers delicately. The recumbent male rolled onto his back and met Haru’s anxious blue eyes with a caging gaze before bringing their hands together to rest on his chest. Disentangling their hands, the graduate student pressed the other’s palm to his sternum in a silent exchange; he took a deep, uncharacteristically quaking breath, and the younger male was able to feel that the heart racing within the ribcage mirrored his own.

The two students held their position, wordlessly acknowledging their shared anxiety; unsure of whether the others’ darkened eyes reflected the dimness of their surroundings or an anticipatory want. Nagisa broke first.

He inhaled quietly and gripped Haru’s hand tightly, sliding his fingers beneath the larger palm and lifting it from the warmth of his rising chest. Haru’s tongue unintentionally darted out to wet his dry lips while he watched the male below him narrow his eyes and bite his pillowy bottom lip, in what the younger male could only describe as a display of both virginal innocence and salacious longing.

Haru was suddenly very much aware of a growing tightness in his jeans, and he squirmed slightly in an effort to partially sate his conspicuous arousal; through heavy lids he watched as the smaller male curl his fingers around his palm—slowly lifting his hand toward parted lips.

The blond breathed hotly against the back of Haru’s fingers; Haru forcibly abandoned the breath that had caught in his lungs in favor of quick, shallow gasps as the smaller man pressed his lips to the pads of his fingers—one…by one…by one. He gasped out a quiet whine as the male dipped the tip of his middle finger past wetted lips; Nagisa peered up deviously, appreciating the look of wrecked desperation on the student’s typically stoic face.  

Nagisa caught the trembling finger between his teeth, biting with agonizingly gentle pressure and lightly swirling his tongue around the tip. Haru felt his composure rapidly wane as he watched the most innocently erotic spectacle he had even been witness to unfold in front of his lust-crazed eyes; the blond positioned an adjacent finger in front of his eager mouth, and immediately drew the additional digit into the wet heat, slowly sliding it past his ruddy lips in tandem with the first.

The low groan that tore its way through Haru’s throat accompanied an urgent clutch at thick blond hair, causing Nagisa to moan wantonly around Haru’s fingers, fluttering his eyes shut in pleasure. The young male began to gently edge his fingers further past greedy lips to seek more delicious attention from that slick muscle, which knew exactly how to tease and torment in a way that made the thickness between his legs throb with an almost fatal need.

Haru channeled every ounce of available willpower into preventing himself from revisiting every sordid thought he had the past week about the male who was currently fellating his fingers, fearing the consequence of imagining him on his knees, writhing on his back, broken and begging as Haru rocked against him, filling him, claiming him.  

He failed.   

His mind was clouding. He needed something. Anything. The presence of his friends in the front seat was the only thing preventing him from attacking the blond. However, that was rapidly becoming a non-issue as Haru was having trouble breathing. His cock ached with heavy desire, and his body was unyielding in its demand for pleasure. Hopelessly lost in a haze of fervent hunger and deteriorating constraint, he suddenly had a much better idea.

The blue-eyed male wet his parted lips and breathed out in a hoarse, barely audible whisper, “Touch yourself.”

For a moment it seemed like the smaller male had not heard the lewd request, and he continued to subtly bob his head, laving the slick fingers with lecherous care—until pink eyes met blue and thin thighs parted further, their owner bracing his feet against the car door.

Haru’s eyes followed Nagisa’s hand it slowly traced a teasing line down his own chest, fingers stopping briefly to hitch up the hem of his shirt just an inch or two, exposing the delicate indents of a toned abdomen and the arc of slim hips. The seductive blond stared up into the young male’s captivated eyes, studying his reaction as he slid his hand lower, lower, lingering above the button of his jeans, until finally sliding between lean legs to palm the solid bulge that resided there.

In the dimness of the car, Haru couldn’t see the hardness of the older male’s arousal, hidden in black denim, but he could _feel_ it in his reaction as he gripped himself through the fabric, back arching slightly and a moan reverberating through fingers still enveloped by glossy lips.

Haru bit down hard on his bottom lip to mute a tortured whimper, his hips pressing back into the seat to disrupt the urge to grip his own firm length—he didn’t trust himself not to cry out and call attention to their secret debauchery. Instead, he removed his slick digits from a silently gasping mouth, ghosting them adoringly over the red, saturated lips, then tracing the delicate curve of a creamy neck down to those enticing collar bones that he wanted to drag his tongue over. He teased his way along the neckline of the male’s shirt, eyes darting from a face flushed with arousal, pupils blown wide, to the slow movements of a hand between shuddering thighs. Haru’s fingers dipped beneath the fabric of the shirt and he ran the back of his nail gently against faintly damp skin above a slim rib cage, expanding and contracting rapidly with shallow huffs. A quieted whine pulled his attention back to the blond’s face; his eyes widened while watching petal-soft lips part before gasping in a pained whisper, “oh god..Haru—I…please ki—“

And that’s when Rin burst into tears.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to thank you guys for your continued encouragement! You're giving me life. 
> 
> I also wanted to give you a heads up...things are going to get incredibly dark eventually. If you want to abandon ship, i suggest you do so quickly. Some messed up shit is going to happen.
> 
>  
> 
> **[And here is a Levi x Eren one-shot](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5527997) **. There will eventually be a full story of their relationship in this universe, where Eren is a high school student and a _massively_ perverted freak. I can't wait to write it! Levi is, like, 30ish or something. Three cheers for age gap! Is Eren even legal!? Who knows! **WHO CARES!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Am I alone in my shower, Haru?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, silly chapter.

“Haru…ah…don’t you dare stop. Don’t stop!”

“Hah!—fuck, Rin—I—hah…I can’t…I can’t…”

“Hold on just a little longer! Come on! Don’t you dare!”

“No…guh…I can’t…please…please”

“Don’t do this to me! You can hold out!”

“I—nhg—fuck fuck, I can’t do it…it’s too much. Hah…why…why did I agree to this!”

“HARU!” Rin kicked at his friend dramatically sprawled on the street, “GET YOUR ASS UP! We have only have a half mile left! COME ON! GET UP!”

“Ow—fuck, don’t…hah…kick me, you cunt.” A winded Haru grumbled as he sat up. “You do this every…ugh…every single day?” 

“No, I _run_ every single day. Listening to you whine for 2 miles doesn’t exactly qualify—“

“I’m sorry, but how are you not hung over?” The collapsed male griped as he put his head between his knees.

“Cause I’m not a little girl? You know you’re in the middle of the street, right?” Rin chided, pulling off his beanie and tossing it in his friend’s face.

“Uggghhh…just leave me here to die.” Haru moaned as he laid back onto the cold asphalt, chest rising and falling as he gulped in oxygen.

“How are you in such good shape and yet you can’t even run three blocks?”

“Swimming doesn’t exactly translate well to land activities. I fucking hate exercising. And I hate you.”

“Mmhm. Well drag your carcass to the grass so I don’t have to do it later with a shovel.”

“I can’t believe you. You couldn’t have waited, like, ten more seconds before wailing like a little baby last night?”

“I’ll make sure to check on the state of your boner the next time I’m overcome with emotion!” The redhead barked as he jogged in small circles around his friend. 

“I didn’t—ugh! That wasn’t…what…he…oh, fuck you.” Picking himself up off the ground, Haru tugged Rin’s hat onto his own head. “This is mine now. Seriously though, what the fuck were you crying about?”

“Um…cause Sousuke is hot?”

Haru rolled his eyes so hard he gave himself a mild concussion.

“Haven’t you ever heard of Stendhal Syndrome?! The man is a work of art! He…um…also asked for my number…” Rin looked away with a blushing smile.

The two boys started walking slowly in the direction of Haru’s apartment. The student couldn’t help but peek at his smitten friend out of the corner of his eye and smirk to himself, “So this is really going to happen, huh?”

“God I hope so.” Rin said to the sky. He cast a side glance at his friend, “What about you? After…um…yeah, I’m really sorry about last night. What happened?”

Memories of the blond on his back with his head in Haru’s lap whipped through his brain; the image of him palming himself in the darkness had the student covertly adjusting his gym shorts as he tried to decide how to explain why what happened after Rin started crying was so…confusing.

“You know what happened. You were there.”

“Sort of…it’s a little fuzzy. Nagisa looked pretty concerned though…”

“Of course he looked concerned! A grown man burst into tears for seemingly no reason. He’s not used to you like we are.”

“Okay okay, I mean after we got home…did you guys talk or anything?”

Haru cleared his throat, “Not exactly…” He kept his eyes on the ground as Rin looked at him with wide eyes.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Um. No…”

“You said _nothing_. At all.”

“Alright fuck, Christ. Yeah…things felt a little weird so I um…well, he hugged me and told me he would call me. He insisted that I go in and take care of you.”

“Fuck, Haru. I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be. You made me realize…some stuff…and then I went and talked to him. Just…you don’t really have to apologize.”

“So…has he called you?”

“It’s 8 in the morning, and you’ve literally been with me the entire night. You slept in my bed, remember?”

“Hah, oh yeah. Sorry.”

“God you’re dumb.”

“How about you call him instead! When we get back.”

“Again, Rin, it’s 8 in the morning.”

“So what? Old guys get up early, don’t they?”

Haru snorted.

They walked in silence for a few minutes, each revisiting bits and pieces of the night before as they enjoyed the quiet of a late fall weekend morning.

“I like him, Haru.” Rin said as they turned the corner to Haru’s street.

“Obviously, you—“

“I mean Nagisa. I like him a lot.”

“Um…how much do you like him?”

“Please,” Rin rolled his eyes. “Little boys aren’t my type.”

“So is he an old guy or a little boy?”

“Either way, not my thing, so chill. He’s just…good. For you, I mean. And okay, if I _did_ like little boys, I’d be all over that cause damn.” Rin bit his lip in mock arousal as Haru shoved him.

“Oh, hey!” The redhead pointed, “Your car is here!”

Haru jogged up to his vehicle parked on the street, “Rei must have brought it by.” He circled around to inspect the previously damaged area. It looked perfect; fuck, they even washed it for him.

Blue eyes fell on a neatly folded piece of paper stuck under a wiper blade. He carefully plucked it out and unfolded it:

_We finished it this morning. Sorry things got a little intense last night. Hope a clean car can make up for it._

_Keys are in your mailbox._

_-Sousuke._

Haru blinked at the note in his hand. _Why do I feel like an asshole?_

His eyes flicked to his friend’s car on the other side of the street as he jammed the note into his pocket and looked at a puzzled Rin.  

“What is—“

Without warning, Haru darted across the street and snatched an identical piece of paper from the windshield.

“Hey! HEY! What is that!? HARU! IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS YOU ASSHOLE!?”

The student circled to the other side of the car, waving the note in the air as he scurried back and forth behind the trunk.

“I swear to god,” dark eyes were wide and dangerous as Rin lowered his head and growled, “Give. Me. That.” He charged towards Haru, fingers narrowly missing the hood on his sweatshirt as he fled across the street.

“Oh sure, NOW you can run!” Rin yelled before sprinting across the road. Haru took shelter behind his own car as the redhead eyed him wildly.

“Rin, calm down! You’ll disturb the neighbors!”

“FUCK your neighbors!” He snarled as he jumped over the hood of the car.

“Shit!” Haru dashed across the lawn of the apartment building with Rin on his heels. “Okay okay! I’ll giv—GAH!”

Rin tackled the student to the ground as he grabbed at the piece of paper. Haru twisted and flailed beneath his friend until he was on his back, the note in his fist now pinned next to his face.

“Give it give it give it…” He mumbled as he clawed at Haru’s fingers, trying to pry them open.

“I said alright!” Haru wheezed, “Just get—“

“As adorable as this is,” A low voice spoke from above them. “Some of us didn’t get to sleep much last night.”

“Sorry, Kisumi.” Rin said as he wrenched the paper from Haru’s fist.

“What? Kisumi?” Haru rolled his eyes up and craned his neck back in the direction of the open window as Rin settled back onto his thighs and unfolded the paper. “When did you get here?”

“Last night?” He rubbed his tired eyes. “I—“

Rin squealed.

“I’m going back to sleep, but I’ll make you guys breakfast later if you just shut the fuck up. By the way, Haru, your phone is ringing.” He slammed the window.

 Haru’s eyes rolled back to the male on top of him. “Can you get off me now? I’d rather not feel you get hard from reading your first love letter.”

“Maybe that would be an appropriate punishment.” He replied before folding the paper and sticking it neatly into his jacket pocket.

“Are you going to tell me what it says?”

A smile flickered beneath flushed cheeks, “Nope.”

“Good. Please get off.”

“Here? But Haru, the neighbors!”

Rin stood and helped Haru to his feet. “What’s the matter with you, anyway?”

“What do you mean?” Haru asked as he slapped at the grass stains on his shorts.

“It’s been quite a few years since I got to chase you like that.”

Haru rolled his eyes as they made their way into the apartment.

“Are you _that_ sexually frustrated that you have to trick me into sitting on top of you?”

“Please shut up.”

“Fine! I’m using your shower.”

Haru sighed as Rin exited the kitchen. _Whose fucking fault is it that I’m sexually frustrated?_

Haru moved to the cabinet and reached for the coffee; he threw some extra grounds into the basket for the rest of the guys before scooping his phone off the counter and wandering into the living room. 

He sank into the couch and flipped the dark device around in his hands absentmindedly, deep in thought.

“Hey—“

“AH!” The phone clattered to the floor. “Sorry. Morning, Makoto.”

“Morning.” The tall male replied as he collapsed into the chair. “So have you always been an exhibitionist or was last night just a special occasion.”

“Huh!?” Haru froze mid-way through reaching for his phone.

“Dude, you were in the back seat of a car. How invisible did you actually think you were? Are you making coffee?”

“…How much did you see?” The student deadpanned.

“Nothing? Everything? Don’t worry,” Makoto smiled tiredly. “I certainly wasn’t disgusted or anything. I just feel bad you guys couldn’t…um…”

Haru cleared his throat. “Yeah, and then I got to share a bed with…” he pointed to the bathroom “How do you think I felt?” He mumbled.

Makoto’s eyes widened as a huge grin broke across his face. “Oh…oh yeah.” He did well to remain composed for a few seconds before a sharp laugh tumbled from his mouth. “Hah! You poor thing! Jesus Christ! I can only imagine…You couldn’t ask him to…help you out just a little?”

The student grunted as he rose from the couch after picking up his phone, leaving Makoto to laugh hysterically by himself in the living room; he turned on the screen and saw the ‘one missed call alert’. _Please be from him please be from him please be from him—thank god._

Haru would probably never admit that he was nervous about the way things were left last night, but there is something extremely unsettling about abruptly parting ways with a man who was touching himself while sucking your fingers.

Apparently, anyway. Haru was sort of new to this kind of thing.

He poured himself a cup of coffee and snuck into his bedroom.

Haru exhaled slowly as he sat on the edge of his bed and pushed ‘return call’ before he had time to think about being nervous.

The line barely rang once before, “Haru-chaaaaan! When can we do something like that again?”

_WHAT!?_

“What!?”

“Sorry!” Nagisa giggled, “Let me start again. Good morning!”

“Good morning…Nagisa.”

“So, when can we do something like that again?” The male purred.

“Um…” Haru was sure Nagisa could hear him fidgeting through the phone. “Wh-which part?”

“How about you answer that for me?”

Haru’s mouth was suddenly very dry.

_I can’t do this._

“How do you manage to do this to me so quickly?” Haru whispered, gripping the phone.

“What am I doing, Haru?”

“You—wait, what’s that noise?” The student suddenly heard something that sounded very much like… “Are you in the shower?”

“Uh. Maybe?”

“You’re talking to me on the phone…in the shower.”

“Is that weird?”

Haru closed his eyes to try and calm his beating heart, but all he succeeded in doing was picturing that lithe body beneath the warm spray, small streams of water trickling down over the swell of his ass, beads of moisture clinging to his long eyelashes like tears as he ran his hands up his slender torso to his chest, past his pink nipples, up to his neck, biting his lip in a silent plea for Haru to reach out and—

“Haru?”

“Y-eah?” He squeaked out in a whimper.

The chuckle was warm and dark in his ear, and it wasn’t doing his growing arousal any favors.

Or was it?

“What are you doing right now?” The graduate asked lowly.

“Right now?” He swallowed, “ _Right now_ right now?”

“Mmm…yeah. Right now.”

_Did he just moan? Oh fuck fuck…_

“I’m in my room…sitting on my bed.”

“Is that all? Are you…mm…alone?”

Those little moans, or whatever they were, went straight to his dick as he tried to compose his thoughts, which were rapidly careening into perverted territories. He slid his hand over his hip and clutched the leg of his gym shorts, inhaling sharply as he nudged his cock into the inside of his thigh with the fabric.

“Ah…I’m alone…yes. Are you?”

“Am I alone in my shower, Haru?” The blond teased.

“What are you doing?” He whispered in a gravelly whine, running his hand along the slippery material over his swelling cock.

“I’m doing what you asked me…ngh…to do last night.”

“Oh god…Nagisa…” The student moaned as gripped his dick and collapsed back onto the cool comforter. “You’re—ah—killing me…”

“What…mmm fuck, what do you want?”

Haru gave himself an achingly slow pump and breathed,

“I want to see you.”

The graduate’s breath hitched at the request, and Haru heard the abrupt clatter of a shower door being slid open.

“I can be there in fifteen minutes.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"We sometimes forget ourselves in the…heat of the moment."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
>   
> 
> 
> I might delete this chapter.

“Uh…um, okay.” Haru bolted upright and looked around his room in a panic.

_Shower shower shower! Oh fuck, Rin!_

“Wait!” Haru whispered harshly into the phone, “Nagisa wait! It’s like a goddamn hotel over here. I can come over there.”

Nagisa was silent for a few seconds before Haru heard a light giggle,

“Actually…I think I have a better idea.”

Right now, Haru couldn’t possibly think of anything _better_ than speeding to Nagisa’s house, throwing the door open, and taking him on the floor.

However…

“Did you get off last night?” The graduate asked with an audible smile.

“Oh…” Haru squeaked out a whine. “No…I didn’t.”

“You poor…hmm…thing. I did.”

_UGH_

“In the car on the way home…I just—hah—couldn’t wait.”

Haru’s cock twitched painfully next to his fingers as they gripped the top of his thigh.

While he definitely had a thing for delayed gratification, this was slightly ridiculous.

“Haru?” Nagisa moaned his name in a question, “Are you hard?”

“Oh fuck—yes.” Came a whimper as he gave in and reached for his cock with trembling fingers.

“Can you do something for me?”

“Anything.” He breathed.

Nagisa inhaled and then paused; the student strained to hear any hint of what the blond was doing with his hands.

“Is your door closed?” He finally asked.

Blue eyes darted to his door. “Yeah…why?” He pressed on himself; breath hitched and lids fell shut.

“I want you to…ah…to open it.”

Eyes opened. “What?”

“You said it was like a hotel there, right? Are your friends still there?”

Haru lifted his hand. “Nagisa…what—“

“Please? You said you would do anything.” He whispered, the hint of a plea only just detectible in his honey-like voice.

“But…they are right th—“

“That’s the point.”

“…What?”

“I thought about you all night, Haru. Thinking about us getting caught in the back seat…mm fuck, particularly _you_ getting caught…or seen…it made me crazy.”

The student glanced again to the door; his friends undoubtedly just beyond, chatting away in the living room.

“You don’t have to open it all the way…just a little.”

_I must be insane._

“You’re insane.” He breathed as he made his way to the door.

He gripped the knob and gingerly turned it, wincing at the audible click.

“Good boy.” The graduate sighed.

Haru peeked through the crack in the door; he couldn’t see his friends, but he heard Kisumi’s low chuckle and the murmur of unintelligible conversation in the kitchen.  

“Now what?”

“Now you get on your bed.”

“Where are you?” Haru asked as he sat down, inching his way to the head of his bed.

“I’m on my bed too. Unless of course, you prefer me to me somewhere else.”

 _MY bed would be better._ “No. That…works.” Blue eyes slid closed as the student ran his thumb down the side of his clothed cock. He pictured the blond on his back, knees bent and feet planted as he teased himself with a delicate brush of fingers over pert nipples as a more eager hand wandered a bit lower—

“Not to sound cliché, but…what are you wearing, Haru?”

A nervous laugh escaped freshly wetted lips; as historically corny as that line was, it somehow made Haru’s already racing heart beat a little faster.

“Nothing you say in that voice could ever sound cliché—“  He was almost startled by his reply. “Um, grey hoodie and navy blue gym shorts.” He finished quickly. “What…about you?”

A giggle, “I just got out of the shower. I’m not wearing anything.”

“Oh, right…” _Dammit I suck so bad at this. Come on, you’re not a fucking virgin. SAY SOMETHING._ “That’s ah…I like that.” _Good start, twat._ “Um…I want you to tell me…what you did on your drive home. To…get yourself off.”

A gentle moan ghosted its way through the phone line, “Only if you tell me what you’re doing with your hands right now.”

He was still just teasing himself through the light fabric; he tilted his hips up as he swirled his fingers under the head of his cock. “Hah—ngh, I’m…touching myself…with just the tips of my fingers.”

“Mmmm…I really like to tease myself too. But you…you seem like…damn, after feeling your hands on me—god. I was so…fuck, those hands of yours. You seem like an expert.”

Haru heard a rustle, then the blond’s voice took on a slightly echo-ish quality, “I bet you’re really good with your hands.”

The student gasped quietly, “Did you just put me on speaker?”

“Mmm…yeah…I need both hands for this…”

Haru groaned.

“…My fingers don’t taste like yours, though.”

Haru’s cock thumped hotly against his thigh before he curled his hand around it, “God…keep talking. Your voice…”

“When I got in the car I was still so hard…the places where your fingers touched were on fire…hah—when I hugged you, it took everything I had not to—“

“Nagisa…” He interrupted with a whine, “W-why didn’t you.”

“Rin needed you- I couldn’t—“

“Fuck Rin! He does that all the time! He was fine!” Haru growled in irritation, shooting a nervous glance at the cracked door. “He passed out in my bed and—“

“He…mm…what?”

The student swallowed, “He…um…” He loosened his grip on his cock; maybe he shouldn’t have said that right now.

Haru never would have thought that a giggle could sound innocent, mocking, and aroused all at the same time, but the graduate was apparently full of surprises.

“So you slept with him? After I…ah…touched myself for you?”

“NO!” He shouted, “I mean, fuck, no.” He whispered, “Well yes. We slept, I didn’t…he didn’t—“

“Haru,” Nagisa breathed in a laugh, “You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I actually think it’s…really hot…”

Brows furrowed in confusion, “You do?”

“Mmm…how could I not? The thought of two gorgeous guys in bed together, one dying to find release while the other sleeps…mmm…completely oblivious.”

Haru knocked his head back in relief, “You are definitely insane.”

“I just know what I like, Haru.” His voice oozed seduction. “Would you like me to continue my story?”

“God yes.” He squeezed his eyes shut.

“Looks like you know what you like, too.” The blond lilted before continuing. “As soon as I got into the car I ran my hand over my chest…like you did to me. Fuck, I needed more of that. It felt so good…your hands were cool, and so soft, but they made my skin burn…mm…you have no idea what that did to me. Then I unbuttoned my jeans…”

The student whimpered as he gripped himself again, sliding the smooth material of his shorts up and down his hot skin.

“I figured it probably wasn’t the best idea to…do that in front of your apartment. I drove a few streets before I unzipped myself…”

Nagisa was panting as he spoke; each small sound of breath went straight to the head of the male’s stiff flesh. He parted his legs as he slid his waistband down little by little.

“I imagined your hand on me…mmm fuck…I was so wet.”

“What about now?” Haru whispered as he grabbed the base of his aching cock.

“Dripping.”

“Sh-shit…” The student moaned as he pumped himself. “More. Please.”

“Mmm…I was twitching…leaking—hah—I thought I was going to explode…I remembered how you pulled my hair, and suddenly…suddenly I, fuck, I lost control. I had to pull over…I put my hand in my hair, ran it down my neck…sucked on my fingers, but it—arg, fuck, it just wasn’t enough. It wasn’t—hah—it wasn’t you. Ah, GOD Haru, tell me what you’re doing. Please…”

Haru was stroking himself rapidly now; his head was thrown back, he had forgotten all about the cracked door; all that occupied his mind was the breathy moans of the beautiful man coaxing him to his peak. He began tilting his hips up rhythmically, rocking into his palm now slick with pre cum, “I’m…nggh…fucking my hand. I’m s-so close…Nagisa, please don’t stop…your voice, god, your fucking voice…I love it.” He breathed raggedly.

“I couldn’t get enough…it happened so fast, ugh, I was shaking, I f-felt so good, I just didn’t stop thinking about you and how badly I wanted…my head was spinning…fuck, god…my body was so hot, I couldn’t breathe…and then…then I came.”

The student let out a whimpering sob as his cock pulsed in his hand at the thought of the man coming undone.

“I came so hard—mmph—all over the place…there was so much—“

Haru just couldn’t handle that, “Nagisa…ffuck—Nagisa, I’m gonna come…”

“Me too…g-god, Haru. Let me hear you. I want to hear you when you come.”

With a guttural moan, the young male gripped his throbbing cock as the first spurt shot in an arc from his tip and landed thick on his chest,

“Ah, god yes…oh fuck, mmph…yes—yes…” He came in short, rolling waves, seed hot and syrupy as it dribbled down his fingers and past his thighs, the image of the blond panting and writhing painted on the backs of his eyelids as he squeezed his blue eyes tight. He gasped as his muscles contracted, jerking him forward with each pulse of his cock; eyes flew open and shot to the open door after a particularly emphatic moan.  

“Hah—nngh god, Haru…” Nagisa moaned the last tones of his orgasm; Haru’s own climax apparently rendered him temporarily deaf, and he was mildly disappointed he wasn’t able to hear the graduate reach his peak along with him.

_That was…fast._

The phone line swelled with gentle pants as the males caught their breath. Haru almost put his hand over his eyes, realizing at the last second that it was full of come; his heart rate was beginning to slow and reality was gradually creeping up his spine.

“I can’t believe I just did that.” Nagisa giggled, speaking Haru’s words for him.

The student pulled his hand from his face and looked down at this messy clothing before glancing at his dripping fingers; he gave them a wiggle and a sharp laugh flew past his lips, “I have to do laundry now.”

“Have you ever done that before?” Nagisa asked, still giggling.

“Laundry?” The student smiled at his stupid response. “No. I have never done _that_ before.” He paused. “…Have you?”

“I find it kind of funny that you even have to ask me that.”

“So…is that because the answer is yes? Or no? Or…you know what, it doesn’t matter I—“

“Never, Haru. I’ve never done that with anyone before.”

Haru bit his lip, stifling a grin. He shifted his hips and then grimaced at the dampness between his legs. He slid his shorts the rest of the way off and tossed them at his laundry basked before getting up and reaching for the towel on the back of his door. He pulled the phone away from his ear to yank off his shirt and wrap the towel around his waist.

“Looks like I need to take another shower. You’re a bad influence, Haru-chan.”

The image of Nagisa splayed on his sheets covered in the remnants of their fun somehow made Haru’s spent cock twitch. He winced as a few drops trickled out and slid down his thigh.

“So,” the blond continued. “On that note, I was wondering if I could take you out to dinner.”

The student’s pulse quickened, “Ah…um. Yeah…”

“Hm…you don’t sound very sure.”

“No. It’s just. Um, I’ve never…Yes. Yes I would like that.” Haru cleared his throat.

“Tonight?”

“Shit, no. I work tonigh—“

“Tomorrow?”

Lips curled into a smile. “Okay. Tomorrow then.”

* * *

 

“Did you know that acetaminophen has been shown to help dull emotions?”

“Mmm,” Nagisa nodded and sipped his drink, “I read that article. Have you heard of ‘cute aggression’?”

Haru drummed his fingers on the tablecloth and furrowed his brows, “No…I don’t think so.” He swirled his wine, “Explain.”

“It’s pretty new, but you know that feeling you get when you see something so cute you want to punch something?” He smirked, “Or it?”

“Yeah, I think I’m familiar with that.” The student leaned back in his seat and smiled, poking at the stem of his wine glass before flicking his eyes up briefly.

He cleared his throat suggestively.

“Not sure if I should be flattered or worried. Anyway,” Nagisa put his elbows on the table, “Apparently it’s the brain’s way of coping with overwhelming happiness or something. Kind of sad, too, right? Our brains don’t want us to be that happy. But, yeah. It’s an actual thing with a name and everything.”

Haru spent the next few seconds wondering about the probable involvement of dopamine in that phenomenon, which somehow segued into the curious circumstance of how the two of them fell into seamless conversation as soon as Nagisa came to pick him up for dinner that evening. There were no fleeting glances or nervous fidgeting—at least not as far as Haru was concerned, though he doubted that the graduate had an awkward bone in his sexy little body.

The student chatted to a very interested Nagisa about the Rin and Sousuke situation, and Nagisa dug his phone out let Haru scroll through the ridiculous texts Rin had been sending him all weekend. “Yep, guess we’re _those kinds_ of friends now.” The graduate laughed when Haru good-naturedly rolled his eyes. “Maybe now I’ll get invited to some of your sleepovers.” He added with a wink, which made Haru blush violently.

But the awkwardness that Haru feared so intensely regarding their… _activities_ the days prior was almost non-existent.

Almost.

It had been difficult for Haru to keep his eyes off the blond as he drove them to the restaurant. The temperature had dropped, and Nagisa was bundled up in a yellow parka with a fur-lined hood, complete with fuzzy pink ear muffs, and damn, was he the cutest fucking thing Haru had ever seen…until he decided to shed the winter outfit halfway through their drive, then the student had a whole new reason to stare and shift uncomfortably in his seat.

He wore a dark grey cardigan with three-quarter length sleeves, and a black and white diagonal striped long-sleeved shirt beneath. Oh, and it was another v-neck. With a black scarf. He had those black combat boots on again, laced up over dark blue jeans; this guy definitely had a particular style and Haru was certain it was called ‘torture’.  “Sorry, Haru-chan, I was sweating.” Nagisa explained. _Yeah. I am too._ He thought.

The restaurant was contemporary and vaguely hipster-esque, and the crowd seemed rather young; both Haru and Nagisa knew some of the patrons from school, none well enough, however, to question their affiliation.  

They spent the meal quizzing each other on the legitimacy of psychological studies, discussing their favorite movies, music, video games—Haru was pretty shocked to find out that Nagisa was a diehard horror survival fan—and discovering embarrassing facts about one another—like how Nagisa took tap dancing lessons for nine years, and how Haru spent a few weeks each summer of his youth at science camp.

Neither one admitted that those facts were painfully adorable. And oddly fitting.

But in general, Haru was proud of himself for the level of composure he displayed that evening.

Only a few times was the caught running his eyes over the blond male’s collar bones, and, okay, he only got flustered once when their hands brushed ‘accidentally’ when Nagisa handed back his wine after a little taste.

As the boys sat and waited for dessert—Haru’s coffee and Nagisa’s chocolate cake—the graduate cleared his throat and said,

“Let’s play a game.”

“A game?”

“Mm. It’s called the question game.” He smirked, “We ask a question, and the other has to answer.”

“So…pretty much like what we’ve been doing for the past hour?”

“No! If either one of us can’t answer, the other has to decide a punishment.”

“Are we seriously playing truth or dare?”

“I don’t know what that is.” Nagisa feigned ignorance as the waiter approached the table and set down his cake. “You start. Ask me a question.”

“Okay.” Haru lifted his coffee to his lips, “How the fuck do you eat like that and still manage to look…like…that.” He averted his eyes and took a sip.

“Worst. Question. Ever.” The blond stabbed his fork towards Haru’s face before taking a gigantic bite of his dessert. He hummed in appreciation and gestured for Haru to taste it.

He shook his head, “But you have to answer, right? Or I punish you?”

“I don’t know, magic?” Nagisa grinned and licked chocolate off his lips, “Honestly, probably because I get so caught up in work that I forget to eat sometimes.”

Haru narrowed his eyes. “That’s bad for you, you know.”

“So is this.” The blond took an aggressively rebellious bite, “But thanks, mom. I’ll give you a chance to redeem yourself. Ask another.”

“What’s with the penguin eraser?”

Nagisa snorted, “Haru, you are terrible at this.”

“I’ve been meaning to ask for a while…and besides,” the student looked away in embarrassment, “If it wasn’t for that, maybe…we wouldn’t be here now.”

“Maybe. I doubt that though. It was a gift,” He replied with a bored sigh. “I like penguins. Mmkay, no more second chances. My turn.” Nagisa hummed with a glint in his eye, “Do you have a masturbation fetish?”

Blue eyes flew wide and looked around in a panic, “What!” He yell-whispered.

The blond just smirked and ate his cake, gazing intensely into Haru’s shocked face.

“I don’t even—um, I don’t do it that…oh wait, you mean…do I like to…um…watch—“

Nagisa nodded slowly with his fork in his mouth.

“W-hy…why would you ask _that_?”

“Well,” Nagisa put down his fork to count on his fingers, “Evidence. First there was—“

“Okay okay! I get it!” Haru put his face in his hands. “Please stop!”

“Am I going to have to punish you?”

 _Oh god kill me._ “Ah…I um, wouldn’t call it a fetish…exactly.” He finished quietly, his face burning.

Nagisa arched an eyebrow.

“I just…the thought of it,” _no the thought of YOU_ , “is…hot, I guess.”

“Well done, Haru-chan. I’m proud of you.” Nagisa grinned as the student dropped his hands to the table in mortification. “Aw…don’t look so upset.” The blond reached a hand across the table and slid his small digits over Haru’s own before lacing their fingers together, causing the student to breathe in sharply. “Your turn.”

“Ah…um,” The younger male’s mind hung dormant in some state between puddle and mangled carnival ride. His heart raced as he fumbled to find his voice among the grinding metal, _don’t look at our hands don’t look at our hands. Goddammit._ “When…um…,” He tore his gaze from their entwined fingers, “When did you lose your virginity.”

Nagisa’s face lit up, “That’s better!” He squeezed his hand, “Pass.”

It took Haru a moment to process that. “What? Pass?” He blinked. “You can’t pass.”

“I sure can!” The blond giggled. He retracted his hand and picked up his fork again while Haru frowned.

“Wait…you’re. Not. Are you—“

“No, Haru. I’m not virgin. But now that’s two questions.”

The student’s eyes drifted to his hand still resting on the table; the hand that still tingled from the other’s touch, and the hand that had a little bit of chocolate on—

“Yeah, but I get to punish you, right?” Haru replied with a devious smirk. “Cause you didn’t answer one of them.”

“You can. Those are the rules.” Nagisa said, pushing aside the remnants of his cake.

Haru’s gaze was trained on the chocolate on the side of his finger. He moved his thumb to smear it just a bit before glancing up into pink eyes.

_I can’t believe I’m doing this._

He slowly brought his hand to his face and dragged the tip of his tongue over the sweet frosting; Nagisa’s lips parted and eyes widened as the student pushed his finger past his lips. He drew it out slowly, then moved onto licking the chocolate off his thumb in the same manner as a small whine came from across the table. Haru lightly bit down on the digit in his mouth and smiled, tilting his chin up.

“That’s not fair.” The blond squeaked.

“Oh?” He gave his finger one last suggestive lick before dropping his hand from his face. “What’s not fair? It’s not my fault you’re a messy eater.” He reached over to the cake plate and dragged two fingers through the leftover frosting.

Nagisa’s hand darted out and grabbed the student around the wrist as he moved to lick more of the chocolate from his fingers, “Is this my punishment?”

Haru licked his lips, “No.” He smiled.

The blond wasted no time wrapping his own lips around the messy tips; he swirled his tongue, urgently collecting as much of the chocolate as possible before—

“Can I bring you two anything else?”

The graduate pulled away from the fingers and burst into hysterics as Haru’s face flushed 6 shades of red. He covered his eyes with his clean hand and groaned, sinking down into his seat.

“No thank you!” Nagisa chirped to the confused waiter. “And sorry—we got a little carried away.” He winked at the male, who looked just a little younger than Haru, but who blushed just as easily.

“Er—I’ll _ahem_ bring your check right over…then.”  

A short laugh leaked from Haru’s lips, “That poor guy.” He suddenly frowned in realization and leaned forward, “Did you know he was coming!?”

Nagisa giggled, “Yes, but,” He crooked his finger, beckoning for the student to lean in closer.

He did.

“…that doesn’t mean I’m not incredibly turned on right now.” He purred into the male’s ear.

Sitting back, the graduate smiled mischievously as someone other than their waiter dropped the check on the table. “We must have scared him.” He said casually, opening the black folio and glancing at the bill.

Haru swallowed his heart, which was threatening to claw its way past his teeth.

He shook his head and pointed at the check, “Can I—“

“Shut your mouth. I’m taking _you_ out, remember?” He pulled out his wallet and stuffed a vague amount of cash haphazardly into the folio before tossing it back on the table. “Besides, I make more than you do.”

“As a TA?”

“Let’s just say I don’t fit the profile of the typical ‘poor graduate student’.”

“Fair enough. Wait, do you even know what I do? For a job?”

“Of course I do. You’re a banquet server.”

“…When did I ever mention that?”

“So, uh…can I bring you some change?” The nervous waiter asked as he approached the table.

“Nope, you’re all set.” Nagisa flashed a brilliant smile as he picked up the check and handed it over.

“Thank y—“ The graduate cut him off with a jerk of his wrist as he reached for the folio, startling the waiter and tugging him forward slightly.

“No, thank _you_ , Jean.” He whispered flirtatiously, “Thank you for putting up with our…antics. We sometimes forget ourselves in the…heat of the moment.” He winked again and released his hand.

The waiter blinked dumbly, “How d-do you know my name?” He stammered.

“Well, _Jean_ ,” He drawled, tracing the edge of the folio in the other’s hand before leaning up with a smirk, “ _You wrote it on the check._ ”

“Right! Th-thank you! Have a nice day—er, night!” The embarrassed male staggered backwards before fleeing the scene.

Nagisa turned back to the dumbstruck student sitting across from him and gave a bashful smile.

“Are you the devil?” Haru asked, breaking into a wide grin.

“Should we get going?” He asked in return, leaning his chin on his hand.

Haru was suddenly conflicted. Yeah, they should leave before getting thrown out for terrorizing the wait-staff, but he didn’t want them to part ways…not yet.

_So don’t let that happen._

“Yeah…but…” The student began as the other rose from his seat. “I don’t…I don’t want—“

Nagisa held his hand out and smiled warmly, “Would you like to continue this elsewhere?”

The younger male nodded.

“And if I’m not mistaken,” the blond continued as he pulled Haru to his feet. He yanked the student’s hand to his mouth again and flicked his tongue over the last bits of frosting while staring into his eyes. Without breaking eye contact, Nagisa snatched a napkin off the table and affectionately patted Haru’s fingers clean. “It’s my turn to ask a question.”

“Do you have to?” The male whined as Nagisa turned and led the way through the restaurant; their inappropriate behavior earned them only a few curious glances from nearby diners, and one girl was positively drooling at the sight of them.

“How many dates have you been on in your life?” He asked as they retrieved their belongings from the coat check.

“Um…was _this_ a date?”

Blond locks bounced as the graduate nodded his head.

“Was, um…Friday night a date?”

He gnawed on his bottom lip in contemplation as he shimmied his was into his parka. He shook his head.

“Okay. Then one.”

The blond snickered as he donned his earmuffs.

“Why is that so funny?”

Nagisa linked his arm through Haru’s as they ventured out into the cold, “It’s not. It’s adorable.” He said, resting his chin on the male’s bicep and smiling up at him. 

Haru’s stomach fluttered.

_God he’s beautiful._

At that moment, Haru was overcome with the desire to reach up and run his fingers through the male’s hair, or throw his arms around him and crush his small frame to his, or toss him into moving traffic. _Cuteness aggression or humiliation-induced homicidal rage?_ But really, the small graduate student made Haru’s heart beat in syncopation, and he reveled in the state of perpetual uncertainty whenever they were together…it wasn’t boring.

_‘Not boring’ doesn’t do this justice._

“Come on!” The beautiful man let go of his arm and scurried to his car. “I’m freezing!”

* * *

 

Five minutes into their ride back, Haru turned down the music and asked,

“So where are we going?”

“My apartment.” Nagisa replied. “If that’s okay, of course.”

The male’s heart thudded off-beat in his chest, “Y-yeah…that’s okay.”

“So where were we? In our little game.”

“I don’t remember, but I do know that I owe you a punishment.” Haru thought it was a little peculiar how…minx-like his companion could be, and yet he wasn’t willing to answer a question about his virginity. There was probably a reason, so he didn’t want to push it now.

He was saving that for later.

“It can be your turn. You need some more chances to up your sad question game.”

Haru rolled his eyes and glowered while he thought. His mind wandered to Friday night…and then Saturday morning…and then to about twenty minutes ago. He bit his lip, “Okay. Fine. Do you have a finger sucking fetish?’

“I didn’t,” The man spoke lowly without missing a beat; in fact, it was like he was anticipating the question. He let go of the steering wheel and reached over to clutch Haru’s hand in his, “But I think I do now.”

The student closed his eyes as Nagisa lifted his hands to his mouth and gently nipped at his index finger with eyes focused on the road. He moved onto the middle finger and gnawed on it playfully; unfortunately, Haru forgot to breathe.

He finally choked in air as pink eyes rolled sideways and a tongue flicked out teasingly before replacing the hand back in the student’s lap.

Nagisa giggled.

“You _are_ the devil.” Haru groaned as he pushed a heated cheek against the window.

“I’m not so sure about that. But it’s my turn. Do you have an erection?”

“Yes.” Haru muttered, staring blankly out the window. “Do you remember calling me a slut?” He asked suddenly. The student was sure that his impending question had something to do with that memory suddenly floating into his brain, but he spoke without trying to piece it together.

“Hah! Yes. Sorry…did that—“

“My turn.” He interrupted when he understood why. “How many serious relationships have you been in?” The student lifted his head and turned to face the driver.

“Ah…” Nagisa scrunched his eyebrows, “Define serious.”

“Well…” _What_ is _a serious relationship, anyway?_ “I guess I can’t—“

“I was married.”

“You—seriously!?”

The blond snickered, “Are you asking if I’m telling the truth? Or if that the relationship itself was serious?”

“Well…if you got married…” Haru suddenly felt uneasy, “It was probably pretty serious, right?”

“Please,” Nagisa waved dismissively. “I’ve owned toothbrushes longer than that relationship lasted. Which is saying a lot. It’s very important to change your toothbrush every six months, you know.”

“Thanks, mom.” Haru mumbled as they turned into the parking lot of an upscale apartment complex.

 “There was a time in my life when I was very…impulsive. And stupid. And a…a um…I just wasn’t myself.” He turned to the student who was fidgeting with the hem of his black jacket after pulling into a parking space.

“Haru.” He pulled the male’s hand from his jacket and held it in both of his. He dropped his voice to a serious whisper,

“It was a long time ago. So, to answer your question, if you want to call a pointless, 5 month marriage a serious relationship, then I’ve been in one. But I…what I felt for that person at the time doesn’t…it doesn’t…” He lowered his eyes and pressed his lips to the back of Haru’s wrist.

Haru looked into the man’s shining magenta eyes as they peered anxiously from beneath thick lashes; he groped around inside his mind for any hint or indication that could help him figure out what exactly it was he was feeling right now.

“Are you upset, Haru?”

“No.” He gently pulled his hand out of the blond’s grasp. He unbuckled his seatbelt and felt around for the door handle as wide eyes watched him curiously.

“I think I’m jealous.”

“Why would you be jealous of…that.” A small voice whispered.

“Is that a serious question?” Haru mumbled as he stared as his hand on the door.

“Tell me…please. Why would that make… _you_ …jealous. I—“

Haru abruptly yanked on the handle and stepped into the cold air; he exhaled heavily as he slammed the door.

The sound of the car’s engine died a second before the driver’s side door opened. Without thinking, Haru moved quickly around the back and approached the confused blond as he exited.

Nagisa pushed the door closed before being spun around roughly and shoved against the cold metal.

“Ah!” Nagisa yelped, “Haru, what—“

 The taller male slid a trembling hand into blond hair, tangling his fingers into the thick locks, “Punishment.” He breathed as he dipped his head down.

Their lips slid together like they were crafted expressly for this moment. There was no hesitation, no question, no doubt in their actions as their lips parted in sync; Nagisa whined as Haru’s tongue slipped gently into his mouth, tasting the flavor of the male’s need as he dropped his jaw, his small hands running up the other’s back, gripping the black jacket and pressing their bodies together as if he feared one of them would be stolen away.

Muffled moans fled glossy lips only to be swallowed again as Haru’s mind blanked completely. He was fire, he was lust, need, hunger, he was reduced to pure sensation as time was suspended by the intensity of their embrace.

Nagisa tasted like nectar, and sunshine, and sin, and want.

He tasted like fucking heaven.

This was bliss, this was perfection; Haru tugged the blond forward and up, deepening their kiss as he nudged a his thigh forward, parting quivering legs to entangle himself more completely with the beautiful graduate student who was melting where he currently stood.  

Moans soon turned to gasps as neither male possessed the mental acuity to be bothered by things like breathing; however, some nagging part of Haru’s stricken brain reminded him that he would probably collapse if he didn’t get air soon.

The blond sobbed his reluctance as Haru temporarily halted their kiss and gulped in oxygen. He pressed his forehead to Nagisa’s as they caught their breath, their gasps warm and visible in the frosty air.

“I think—hah—I think you’re…doing it wrong.” Nagisa huffed with a breathless laugh.

“…what?” Haru replied dumbly after a couple shallow pants.

“Punishment.”

Haru squeezed his eyes shut before a choking laugh shook his body and startled the male in his arms. He slid his hands to the sides of Nagisa’s flushed face and kissed him on the forehead with smiling lips.

“Sorry.” He mumbled against the warm skin as they both dissolved into uncontrollable laughter; they stood, alone and giggling in the dark parking lot for a few minutes before Nagisa raised up on his toes and planted a sweet, innocent kiss on Haru’s lips,

“I’ve wanted that for so long.”

“You mean, like, for a week?” Haru pulled back to look into the other’s blushing face.

“Mmm whatever. Would you like to come inside?” He said, eyes half-lidded yet still bright as ever.

“Yes. Please.”     


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"The French have this phrase, 'la petite mort'.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haru is dead.

“……and it’s theorized that the function of kissing is evolutionary, and it originated from parents shoving food into their offspring's mouth, which is sort of incesty when you think about how kissing is used now, but anyway. Obviously birds do that whole shoving food into mouths thing, except they also do it during courtship with their intended mates, and then there’s this theory……..”

Nagisa had been babbling about theories surrounding kissing the entire walk from the car to his 6th floor apartment, and while the student would typically find this type of lesson at least mildly interesting, the blond was talking so fast that Haru’s post-kiss-addled brain was having a difficult time keeping up with any of it.

“………not just humans, apes and cats and dogs and even snails and other insects engage in some type of kissing behaviors, although for them I guess it’s probably more something along the lines of grooming or some type of communication, but then what else is kissing to humans if not also some kind of communication? You’re definitely _telling_ someone something when you’re kissing them, right? Although historically……….”

Admiring the lavishly modern hallway as they approached the door of the apartment, Haru was beginning to wonder if the man had a roommate or...five, because _damn_ this place looked expensive.

 _Is he seriously still talking?_ Haru thought as Nagisa slid his key into the lock of a large black wooden door. It swung inward with a soft creak as the graduate practically booted it open after turning the knob.

“………..must not be innate or intuitive because some cultures don’t have anything even remotely close to kissing, and there are ancient texts that describe things like what we think of today as precursors for things like intercourse, so I don’t know, like, foreplay? So places like ancient Greece, Rome, India, all make reference to types of erotic kissing in—“

“NAGISA.”

“Huh!?” The graduate stilled midway through the task of struggling to balance and remove one of his boots as the door clicked closed.

“Do you live alone?”

“Um.” Pink eyes darted back and forth in question, “Yes?”

Groaning with relief, Haru grabbed the lapels of the yellow parka and yanked the male forward, throwing him off balance and sending the small body stumbling against his chest.

“Good,” He whispered as one hand left the collar of the jacket and settled against the blond’s lower back; he gently cupped a winter-rosy cheek when pink eyes lifted, innocent and puzzled,

“Then shut the fuck up.”

He ran his thumb affectionately over the florid skin as Nagisa’s eyes fluttered expectantly to his lips.

Leaning down slowly, Haru’s eyes slid closed a moment before his lips brushed ever so gently against the graduate’s own; the pressure was light and tender, and the student felt Nagisa shiver before his delicate fingers wound their way into Haru’s dark hair.

As if in rebellious defiance of their racing hearts, their kiss was agonizingly slow, but exquisitely sensual and experimental; the younger male allowed his lips to be parted by the blond’s imploring tongue, and he yielded with pleasure as Nagisa took control, skillfully rolling and caressing Haru’s tongue with his own like he was a goddamn professional—and what with the lecture he just imparted on the subject, he probably was.

Haru moaned quietly as the male dragged his fingers through his hair, dropping them to his neck to lovingly massage the tight muscles while also pulling him down and closer; the graduate pulled Haru with him until his back was pressed against the wall of the dim entryway.  

Haru allowed his hands to roam lower to hitch up the bulky material of the Nagisa’s coat to tightly grasp his slender hips before breaking the kiss—his brain reminded his lungs to breathe this time.

His thumbs gently caressed the bare skin of the boyish hips as if to atone for the sin of initiating the detachment.

He panted shallowly before dipping his head and trailing his lips along the graduate’s perfectly sculpted jawline, drawing a gentle moan from his throat as he titled his head back, knocking blond locks against the wall and subtly rocking his hips forward.

The student groaned hotly as Nagisa’s conspicuous arousal nudged against the inside of his upper thigh, and he inhaled deeply as he pressed his lips to the graduate’s temple, reveling in the unique aroma that was slowly threatening to rob him of his sobriety and self-control.    

Haru wanted to bury himself in the male’s scent; he wanted to bite and claw his way in and swaddle himself in his own personal paradise—fuck, he wanted to be smothered by it; his dying breath would rival nirvanic ecstasy.

The soft perfume of the cold night mingled in an elegant bouquet with the dark, saccharine fragrance of the dampness on the male’s skin as Haru buried his face in the space between his neck and the jacket collar and dragged parted lips across the balmy flesh.

“Are men supposed to taste this sweet?” He murmured breathlessly into the honeyed skin.

He hurriedly pushed his nose up and around to the back of the creamy neck, basking in the male’s natural essence as it lingered exotic and thermal on his palate.

Haru’s restraint was slowly descending into a frenzied thirst for the small body pressed against him as his heart hammered wildly with desire. His stiff length throbbed heavy beneath the zipper of his jeans, growing harder with every sweet intake of breath.  

Rolling his tongue lewdly against the skin, Haru tried desperately to extract more of the intoxicating pheromone that now had his breath coming in ragged huffs. He needed to be closer, to consume and to be consumed by this sublime being within his arms.

Nagisa was answering him with his own erratic pants and whines as the student helped himself to his flavor; Haru pressed his knee against the wall between the graduate’s legs, allowing male to grind against his thigh at will.

 “Ha—Haru—“ Nagisa gasped to the ceiling, “Wait…hah…wait—“

“No.” He whined against the blond’s throat, “I need more. Please.”

“Ah—hah…okay, just…hold—“

“I can’t.” Haru breathed with a pained expression before covering the graduate’s mouth once again with his own, gripping his hips with bruising intensity and slipping his tongue urgently between pink lips.

Small hands clutched at the student’s shoulders, tightly clenching into the fabric of his black peacoat and tugging him forward to deepen their kiss once more; Nagisa’s hips stuttered unevenly against the lean thigh as their tongues slid together with demanding purpose, each succumbing to the burning desire to devour the other as gasps and moans were exchanged in the small foyer. That is, until,

“I said WAIT.” Nagisa growled as he twisted his fingers into the wool of the coat, shoving Haru back and away from him with violent force.

The student yelped at the unexpected action as the tiny blond displayed a strength that Haru would never have dreamed him to possess; despite being caught completely off guard and knocked backwards unbalanced, the graduate managed to both keep the unsteady male on his feet and move him backwards with deliberate steps, roughly leading him blindly and rapidly into the dark apartment.

Haru’s wide blue eyes flickered from side to side in panic as he staggered backwards and confused before landing on the very threatening face of the male in front of him.

“The FUCK is wrong with you?” The man snarled as the backs of Haru’s knees connected with something in the room, his momentum toppling him onto his back and effectively tearing him from the other’s firm grip.

Stunned into speechlessness, the student clutched at the cool, malleable surface of whatever piece of furniture he had fallen onto and struggled to prop himself up on his elbows as the blond loomed over him, dangerous and menacing in the dim light.

A small whine fled Haru’s lips before he found his voice, “Ah—Nagisa!  I—“

“Shut up.” The blond snapped and narrowed his eyes before gracefully leaping forward to land on the shaken male, thin legs straddling trembling hips as Nagisa wrenched Haru’s arms from beneath him, trapping them at his sides.

While his body was completely paralyzed, Haru’s heart was going wild with frightened confusion. _Oh god, he really is insane and I’m going to die. Why is he so strong what the FUCK._

Nagisa peered down at the immobile male, his face impassive as he released his arms and leaned back onto Haru’s hips. He brought his hand to the front of his jacket and grabbed the zipper, tugging it down forcefully.

Haru’s chest rose and fell rapidly as he tried with all of his might to figure out just what the fuck was going on; the graduate wiggled his shoulders and allowed the coat to drop heavily to the floor before the corner of his mouth curled upwards into a satisfied smirk.

“Much better.” He said as he tugged at his scarf and then tossed it to the side. He lowered his face to murmur smoothly at the shell of the baffled male’s ear, “Now where were we?”

Baffled - yes. But also _painfully_ aroused.

“Wha—I…nngh—“ Haru moaned as Nagisa rolled his hips. “You’re fucking—ah—insane. I thought that…that you were going to kill me...”

“Well,” He whispered before tracing a line with his tongue over the student’s racing pulse, “The French have this phrase, _la petite mort_.” He rolled his hips, “It translates to ‘the little death’. It’s also often used as the word for _orgasm_.”

A whimper bubbled from Haru’s throat as the blond purred his last word and pressed his lips to the base of his neck.

“So let’s get rid of this…” Nimble fingers worked to undo the last few buttons on the male’s coat as slender hips wiggled teasingly. Nagisa slipped his hands into the opening and shoved it off of Haru’s shoulders as he sat up, pulling his arms free before wrapping one around the blond’s waist, the other hand cupped under a thin thigh and pulled him forward.

The graduate’s head tipped back as he moaned loudly as Haru’s stiff length pressed against his; the younger man took this as an opportunity to nip at the exquisite collar bones that he had quickly come to love so much, his mouth watering as the sweet tang of the blond’s skin graced his tongue once again, causing his dick to throb painfully within the confines of his jeans.

He’s sure that Nagisa can feel his heartbeat pulsing in his cock.

Rocking his hips up, Haru clamped his teeth down on the smooth flesh over the base of the blond’s throat.

Nagisa keened as the student sucked at his skin, devouring it, marking it with crimson blooms before lapping at the abused areas, laving them with tender remorse in repentance for marring such a virginal canvas.

 Repentance? Please, this guy is a demon.

“MMPH—Harder Haru, bite me, mmm…HARDER—“

The blond cried out as he tangled his fingers into Haru’s hair, urging the male to continue his accursed behavior of vandalizing his flesh.

Thin thighs gripped bucking hips as Haru roughly bit the graduate’s soft throat, pulling flesh between his teeth and sucking it lewdly as the smacking sounds of lips on skin filled the apartment, mingling with Nagisa’s cries of pleasure as he ground against the male who was presently destroying the fuck out of his neck.

A particularly lusty moan and a jerking roll of Nagisa’s hips had Haru realizing that he wasn’t going to last much longer; he planted one last open-mouthed kiss to the now-bruised collar bone and titled his head back, just in time to witness those dark pink eyes roll up and back in pleasure.

Nagisa swung his head forward and pinned Haru with a heavy gaze. He looked wrecked, desperate. His blond hair hung messy over his eyes as his skinny chest lifted and fell with each shallow breath, tongue flicking out to run over lips red and abused by self-infliction.

The males stared each other down as heaving breaths slipped over parted lips, both hearts pounding hard with anticipation and just a hint of uncertainty.

This was rapidly approaching somewhat unfamiliar territory, perhaps for both of them, but Haru’s hazy mind was fractured. He was reeling with lust and the primal urge to violently claim this man as his own, to ruthlessly pound into him and hear his moans, his pleas, his cries of protest or pleasure—it didn’t matter, just as long as he could own every piece of his body and soul, just as long as he belonged to him nothing else would ever possibly matter.

He absolutely needed to be inside of him or he was going to fucking die.

But…

Without warning, Haru jerked both of their bodies up and off the—

 _Guess this is a couch. Neat._ Haru thought stupidly as the graduate’s back crashed onto the cool black leather. He bit his bottom lip as he climbed on top of the flushed blond, who appeared dazed and almost child-like as he watched the younger male with wide, doe-like eyes.

But Haru knew better by now.

He descended ravenous on Nagisa’s plump lips as thin arms wound their way around his neck. He bit hungrily at the full flesh as the blond moaned hotly and whined, bucking up fruitlessly to seek the friction that Haru was strategically keeping at bay with knees planted firmly on the soft cushion, delaying as long as he could the inevitable outcome of feeling the beautiful male writhe against him.

“Hah—Haru, you’re cruel.” Nagisa gasped from abused lips after knocking his head back into the cushion. “Please…fuck, please I need you. Put your hands on me, god please PLEASE.”

The desperate blond released Haru’s neck, shifting his hand down to palm himself firmly and run his hand over his swollen member, arching his back off the couch and groaning indecently.

Raising up on his knees, the student slid a hand into his own hair and tugged dark locks in an effort to keep himself together. Nagisa was all sorts of sexy—no, he was a fucking aphrodisiac made flesh. Divine, creamy, aromatic flesh that he needed beneath his hands, in his mouth, pressed against his or he was going to lose his goddamn mind like the animal he apparently was.

“Fuck…Nagisa…”

The blond responded by lifting his chin and running his tongue over his flush lips as he slid his fingers underneath the hem of his shirt. Thin digits dragged over supple skin, revealing first the swell of well-formed hipbones above low-riding jeans, then traced gradually upwards, tugging the shirt up and over an enticing navel.

Haru’s eyes widened further with every inch of exposed skin; his heart hammered wildly and could feel himself salivating at the sight below him. He raked his hand down his face at the first sight of the male’s ribcage, delicate and visible with each huff of breath.

Nagisa gave his arousal a firm squeeze as he ran his fingers over a pink nipple beneath his shirt before parting his lips and breathing out a plea,

“Touch me, Haru.”

Haru’s long fingers wound into his dark hair again as a sharp whine tore from his throat. He was gasping now, dizzy with conflict and need as his heart clenched and his cock throbbed, straining impossibly hard against the zipper of his jeans.

“I-I can’t.”

_I’m sorry, what?_

“Nagisa…I’ll, fuck, I’ll lose control. I don’t--”

“You don’t have to control yourself, Haru.” The blond replied with ragged breath as he slid his palm over the swell between his legs, stroking himself slowly and tipping his head back. “I need your hands on me.”

The student’s eyes raked over the exposed skin, bared and vulnerable, laid in offering explicitly for his taking. Lips parted in a shaky inhale and he ran his tongue along the pink flesh, puffy and raw from their recent endeavors. His eyes drifted to the small hand working slowly between trembling thighs, enticing him, urging him, taunting him—Nagisa knew exactly what he was doing.

But blue eyes settled ultimately on the male’s beautiful face—lips scarlet and glossy beneath flushed cheeks, eyes dark and imploring, but pained as they fluttered with a mix of unmet need and pleasure.

“I don’t—I don’t want…” Haru gasped.

_You don’t want WHAT!? What are you saying!_

“You don’t want me?” Nagisa whimpered, face twinging with grief as his hand stilled between his thighs.

_FUCK_

With a desperate growl Haru attacked the small writhing body, hands clutching into the supple skin at his waist, pawing and tangling into his hair as he tugged his head back roughly, exposing the male’s throat, bobbing as he swallowed with force at the aggressive action.

“You’re all I want,” The student gasped before covering Nagisa’s parted lips with his own, uncontrolled and demanding. “You’re…all I want…I want you…fuck…I need you…” He whispered harshly between planting kisses along the racing pulse beneath bruised skin.

Nagisa sobbed out a moan as he wrapped his legs around Haru’s waist, pulling him down and crashing their hips together, rolling and grinding their throbbing erections through too many layers of fabric.

“How—how could—hah—you say that.” Haru hissed through clenched teeth as they rocked against each other. “Fucking—shit…fucking look at me. GOD—look at what you do to me.” He lurched his hips off of the man below him and groped at his hand, shoving it between his legs in a lecherous demonstration of the blond’s effect on him.

Nagisa groaned and immediately began to slip his palm over the throbbing organ, roughing it up and squeezing it through the denim.

The student’s eyes rolled back as lids fluttered closed. He stuttered his hips forward and back, grinding himself against the blond’s warm hand.

He dropped his head and stuffed his face into the crook of Nagisa’s neck, breathing in deeply and again filling his lungs with the sweet, intoxicating scent.

_Shit. No really—fucking SHIT_

“S-stop!” Haru cried, pulling reluctantly from the glorious friction of the graduate’s hand. “I don’t want to…come yet.” He cried in frantic, unintentional honestly. “And…I don’t want our first time to…fuck, to be over so quickly.” He screwed his eyes shut in shame. “I’ve never felt so out of control before…this is like torture…” He finished with a whisper.

He cracked his eyes open when he felt gentle fingers caress the side of his face. “Haru,” Nagisa sighed with a warm smile. “You just leave this to me, then.”

The hand cupping the student’s face fell to his chest and the graduate gave a light push, leading the male to his feet as Nagisa followed him right off the couch. The smaller male raised up on his toes and pressed his lips to Haru’s briefly before turning him around and shoving him back onto the cushions.

Resting against the back of the couch, Haru watched with fascination as Nagisa lowered to his knees in front of him, pinning him with a lusty gaze as his hands drifted to the insides of the student’s thighs. Unwavering pink met anxious blue as the blond dropped his head, running his nose up the side of Haru’s achingly ridged cock.

A low moan resonated in his throat at the sight of the blond breathing over his dick. But then Nagisa did the unthinkable. He released the firm muscle of the student’s legs and—

He unzipped himself.

Haru’s breath stilled in his lungs as Nagisa’s fingers moved up to undo the button; he rocked back onto his heels and bit the corner of his full bottom lip as his hand worked into the opening in his jeans, reaching his fingers below the waistband of his underwear and pulling out…

_Oh. My. God._

If the essence of pure beauty could be harnessed and molded into solid, flawless, lusciously pink flesh, it would be currently nestled in Nagisa’s small palm, fingers curled loosely around the shaft beneath a flushed, dribbling head.

A languid pump had the graduate’s eyes rolling back and the student’s cock swelling further, twitching and pulsing against his thigh.

A sob fizzled into a barely audible squeak in Haru’s throat as the blond swiped his thumb over his slit, smearing the clear liquid around his perfectly-formed head. His other hand went back to sliding his shirt up his slender abdomen, exposing impeccably pale, unmarred skin dimpled with toned, sleek muscle. 

Watching the younger male’s face, Nagisa griped himself firmly and thrusted into his palm, slowly fucking his hand as he witnessed the student fall apart completely on his couch.

“Do you like this—ah—hah—Haru? Do you like…mmm, fuck…watching me?”

Haru swallowed forcefully, his tongue shoving hard against his front teeth as he was rendered speechless by the bawdy spectacle before him.

He nodded slowly and clenched his hands into fists on top of his thighs, never taking his eyes off the male’s fist as the head of his cock pushed in and out between the coiled digits.

Small hips stilled their thrusting as Nagisa tightened his grip, clenching towards the base of his cock as a drop of pre cum slowly dripped from the tip, slipping down his knuckles as he leaned forward.

The blond released his cock and allowed his shirt to fall in favor of reaching out and sliding his fingers over Haru’s hands, urging him to relax before slipping beneath his fists, entwining their fingers once the student yielded to the touch.

Nagisa pulled himself forward again and came to a rest between Haru’s thighs. He squeezed the student’s hands as he gave him one last fleeting look before dropping his head to plant warm, open mouthed kisses along his arousal.

Dark hair spread out against the black cushions of the couch as Haru knocked his head back, squeezing his eyes shut at the feeling of warmth between his legs; with his head thrown back, he only now noticed that the male’s scent still seemed to encompass him despite Nagisa’s position on the floor.

_The whole fucking apartment smells like him._

The release of one of his hands and the tug of a zipper had Haru’s head snapping forward. He choked out a breathy cry as the blond popped open the button and tugged lightly on the jeans, slipping them down only an inch or two.

But that was more than enough.

Skillful hands descended to the bulge beneath Haru’s tight black boxer briefs; the adept fingers worked their way to the top of the waist band, eliciting a gasping moan from the young male as they dipped under, pads running gently along the thick warm shaft.

Placing a final kiss to the base of the student’s abdomen, Nagisa rolled his eyes up to regard the panting student.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“N—hahhh—“ Haru faltered as the graduate rotated his palm downwards to curl his fingers around the length against the inside of his thigh. “No…no. D-don’t stop.”

Nagisa’s lips curled into the most innocently shy smile the student had ever seen, and the contrast between the boyish expression and their current situation had Haru’s hands twisting into his hair and his dick thumping and oozing like mad.

Nagisa took his hands away to unzip the backs of his boots, pulling them off and throwing them off to the side.

With a bite of his lip, the graduate’s hands traveled to his own hips. He slipped his pants and underwear down the swell of his ass before gracefully rolling onto his back, shoving his jeans down his thighs and kicking them off completely while staring into the younger male’s eyes.

 Haru thought his heart was going to explode.

The blond got to his knees and crawled—fucking crawled the short distance to reposition himself between Haru’s trembling legs. He reached up and settled his slender digits flush against the student’s toned abs and brushed them feather light down to the top of his underwear. He curled them under the waistband and lifted it down over the student’s aching cock, freeing it at last from the cruel confines of the fabric.

“Ah…Haru…” Nagisa breathed, eyes widening at the sight of the rigid flesh as it bobbed against the male’s stomach; he impulsively wet his lips and swallowed as his gaze rolled over the glistening head, and with a flick of his dark eyes he gestured for Haru to raise his hips to slide his jeans down just a little further to ensure he could work unencumbered. “You’re…wow.”

“W-wait!” Haru cried and screwed his eyes shut as smooth fingers curled around the base of the thick mass. “I—ah!—please wait!”

“Shh…” The graduate hushed, breath hot over Haru’s wet tip. “I want you to trust me.”

With eyes shut tight and hands clenched behind his neck, the student sucked in a few quaking, stabilizing breaths. He whimpered and nodded quickly.

“But you have to open your eyes.”

Reluctantly, Haru cracked his watering eyes and then—

He died.

He fucking died.

Figuratively, literally, what the fuck ever, his heart exploded, lungs failed, and his soul left his body when his eyes fell on the most gorgeous person he ever had the pleasure of seeing—and he currently had his delicate hand wrapped firmly around his cock.

Nagisa was a fucking vision. An angel, a demon, a paradoxical illusion with lips glossy and parted, poised to accept the hot flesh, his eyes gleaming, radiating both purity and carnal desire. His bare thighs were parted wide as he kneeled on the carpet and he was leaning forward, ass sticking out behind him beneath his shirt and cardigan. And his other hand—fucking Christ, his other hand worked with divine precision between his legs, hips swaying ever so subtly forward and back.

_Is this real?_

“Why don’t we find out?” The blond breathed.

“Did I actually say th—uungh GOD—“

Haru’s hands slipped back into his own hair while his pulsing head pushed passed Nagisa’s full, demanding lips…very…very…slowly.

“N-naah—ah—hah…sshh-it, ngh—AH!—“ Haru whimpered incoherently as the head of his cock slipped over a warm, sinfully skilled tongue. The pressure of the lips around his shaft was just enough to tease, not enough to allow him to enjoy the full heat of the male’s mouth, and the small hand at the base alternated exquisitely between a firm and loose grip that made the student want to scream.

The tip of the graduate’s hot tongue dragged over Haru’s leaking slit, drawing a keening whine from the male as his hands dropped from his own messed up hair to instead tangle within thick blond locks.

When Nagisa began to moan around his shaft and hasten his subtle thrusts against his own palm, it was all Haru could do not to rock his hips up and burst down the male’s throat.

“Fuck—hah—Nagisa!” The student whimpered as an urgent heat coiled deep in his hips; but the moment he felt that unwelcomed peak descending upon him, the blond tightened his grip and pulled his mouth off the twitching flesh.

Haru cried out in a conflicted state of mental relief and sexual frustration as pink eyes rolled up to meet his, wild and misty with lust, “I told you to…ngh…to trust me.” He whispered gravelly, rocking his hips and fucking his own fist.

“N-nagisa,” His voice wavered, reflecting the tremors in his body, “I’m so close…”

“So am I.” Nagisa murmured as he dipped his head and kissed the side of Haru’s cock. Without warning, the blond raised up and stuffed the student’s aching hardness into the back of his throat.

“NGH F-UCK!”

Saliva dripped down over the flushed skin as Haru tugged on the graduate’s hair, unsure of whether he wanted to slam him down or yank him off.

Luckily, the student wasn’t going to have to decide as the blond pulled off of him with a watery gasp, panting and lewdly running his tongue over his swollen lips.

Nagisa reached up and tangled his fist into the male’s shirt, pulling him down forcefully as he rose up to meet him, crashing their lips together in a sloppy, uncontrolled kiss. Haru’s hands dropped from blond hair to the small of the graduate’s back as they exchanged panicked moans and desperate breaths.

“—ff.” Nagisa breathed against the student’s lips.

“Hah—what?”

“OFF.” The small blond growled hoarsely and tugged at Haru’s shirt.

Haru was more than happy to oblige; he leaned back and grabbed the hem of his shirt, yanking it off as Nagisa stood and threw himself onto his lap.

Spreading his lean thighs over the student’s dripping length, Nagisa rolled his hips and slid the undersides of their throbbing cocks together; the graduate leaned forward and planted hurried kisses along the base of Haru’s throat, groping his firm chest with needy fingers as he began to rock uninhibited in the male’s lap, gliding their erections against one another and breathing raggedly.

“H-Haru—“ Nagisa moaned and threw his head back, leaning back onto the student’s arm which was slung around his back, pulling and guiding him into his wild thrusts. He placed one hand onto the male’s slick shoulder and used the other to roughly pull Haru’s other hand from its position on his swaying hip, leading him to grip their cocks in his hand.

Nagisa placed his hand over Haru’s, squeezing and coaxing him to begin pumping them in tandem.

The sensation of their shared friction had Haru’s mouth falling open and a powerful moan tearing from his throat; he thrust into their busy fists, snapping his head forward and admiring the male jerking and riding on top of him, head thrown back and lips parted wide as the student’s name tumbled endlessly over the bitten flesh, punctuated by heavenly, gasping sobs.

Tremors of pleasure raced up Haru’s spine when the blond finally fell forward and stared heavy lidded into his eyes. Nagisa lifted his chin, panting with every roll of his waist—the image forcing the younger male closer and closer to the brink of ecstasy.

“Hah—ngh!—Haru…I’m…hah—I’m gonna come.”

Haru responded by increasing the speed of their fists and tightening his grip around the blond’s slender waist, digging his fingers into the soft flesh at his side.

“Arg—fuck—HAH! Kiss me, Haru, please kiss me, plea—“

The student leaned up and swallowed Nagisa’s remaining babbling plea with a rough, savage kiss, the force of their lips drawing a euphoric sob from the blond’s throat—his small fingers at Haru’s shoulder scrabbling to find purchase on the moist skin as he thrashed in the male’s lap.

With a throaty cry, Nagisa’s hips stuttered erratically before stilling completely. His hands flew to twist into Haru’s dark hair as the student continued to stroke them together, blond locks falling from his flushed face as his head knocked back, spine arching elegantly and thighs clenching hard as his peak washed over him with shuddering force.

“Oh my GOD FUCK YES—UGH HARU! YES—“

Thick white streams burst from the blond’s slit, his come splattering onto Haru’s tight abdomen and dribbling down the student’s own cock in his pumping fist.

Nagisa’s cries rang out in the dark apartment as he came tumbling down from his climax, his body trembling with the aftershocks as he tilted his head back down to stare into Haru’s eyes; ragged pants sliding passed the student’s parted lips as he continued to rock up into his hand, now slick with the graduate’s come.

Haru was teetering on the edge—though how he lasted this long was a mystery of science, but fuck if he gave a shit now—his orgasm was building with intensity and the way the blond was running his fingers up and down the back of his neck and murmuring god knows what into his ear was driving him fucking insane.

When he dropped his head to suck possessively at the base of Nagisa’s slender neck, the male’s raw scent pervaded his senses and shoved him flush against the border of ecstasy.

“Na—Nagisa..hah—ah, nngh, fuck—“ He whimpered against the slick, tangy skin.

But in an instant it was gone.

Nagisa had managed to hop nimbly backwards and land cat-like on the floor between his shaking legs, and in one fluid motion he knocked Haru’s hand from his twitching length and instead shoved it into his mouth, swallowing down and accepting the throbbing head into his hot throat.

“FUCKING SH-SHIT—AH!”

Nagisa gagged and gripped the student’s thighs tightly, determined to fit Haru’s entire shaft inside his mouth.

The sight of the graduate student moaning and choking around his thick flesh was all the stimulation necessary to unravel the male completely and send him screaming into wrecked delirium.

“Fuck fuck goddammit I’m coming, I’m coming, FUCK I’m coming UGH! GOD!” Haru babbled as he clutched at Nagisa’s fingers to prevent his own hands from slamming the blond further down over his dick.

Their fingers laced together with crushing intensity as Haru’s cock throbbed fiercely inside the tight heat, spurting madly into Nagisa’s waiting throat as the muscles in his neck worked to swallow the flowing seed.

He choked but endured the temporary suffocation as he stuffed his head deeper and deeper; he could _not_ get enough of the feeling of the younger male spasming and losing himself deep inside his mouth.

Haru’s heaving gasps eventually dissolved into small whimpers as Nagisa milked him completely. He gripped the base of the thick cock and tightly dragged his hand up the shaft, ensuring that he licked up any and all remaining drops that the student had to give.

When Nagisa finally released him, the young male collapsed against the back of the couch, panting harshly and covering his face with his hands as he fought to catch his breath while he came down from the glorious high.

“Holy shit.” He mumbled to himself.

He peeked between his fingers when he heard Nagisa stir on the floor and watched him frown at his messy hands before grabbing at his previously discarded jeans, wiping them off and then haphazardly tossing them away.

Haru couldn’t help but smirk.

_Fucking. Adorable._

“What?” Nagisa peered up and slid into a cross-legged position on the soft rug and leaned his elbows on his knees, half-naked and smiling bashfully at Haru’s flushed, smiling face.

The student dropped his hands heavily onto the black leather. “Nothing. I…uh. Like your couch.”  

“Yeah?” Nagisa giggled and leaned forward to crawl yet-again toward the couch. “Is that all?”

“You remind me of a little kid sometimes.”

“Oh really?” The graduate shimmied between Haru’s legs and gingerly curled his fingers around his softening cock. “You do this with little kids often, then?” He laughed and dragged his tongue over one last drop of come that had managed to escape him.

“N—ahh-ah—not fair.”

“Hm?” Nagisa replied before affectionately kissing the student’s abdomen. “What’s that?”

“You…um…” He felt his face heat up again. “You got to…” He flicked his eyes down suggestively. “And…I didn’t…” He licked his lips. “You smell and taste just so fucking good…I wanted…” He finally lowered his eyes, just way too embarrassed to finish.

“Hey.” Nagisa stood before straddling Haru’s waist again. Delicate fingers cupped under the student’s jaw and tilted his face up to look into smiling pink eyes. “We have all the time in the world to do anything you could ever want.” He gently kissed the side of the male’s mouth. “Mmm…but…” Pink eyes darted down mischievously. He ran his thin fingers down over Haru’s abs and presented the student with two digits slick with the graduate’s own come. “Maybe this could hold you over for a while.” 

A dark eyebrow lifted in a mix of amusement, intrigue, and mild arousal. The two stared at each other for a breath before Haru leaned in hesitantly, never breaking eye contact and parting his lips right over the slender digits and—

Nagisa pulled them into his own mouth, swirling his pink tongue around the tips and smirking.

Haru’s mouth dropped open and eyebrows slanted in offense. “Wha—hey!”

The graduate tipped his head back and laughed warmly before fixing Haru with an affectionate gaze. “Don’t look so sad, I ca—MMPH!”

The student slammed his lips against Nagisa’s and parted them with a quick sweep of his tongue as he wound one arm around his waist. He curled the slick muscle around inside the small mouth, drawing as much as the male’s new flavor from the warm cavity as possible. He moaned as the subtle hint of a sweet saltiness graced his tongue before he pulled them apart with a mutual gasp.

“Hah—Is there any part of you that isn’t sweet?”

“Mmm…I would very much like for you to find that out.” Nagisa replied breathlessly as he ran his fingers through Haru’s hair.  “But I think we should clean you up for now. And get me some new pants.”

“I think I prefer you this way.” Haru murmured as he pulled the blond against his come-streaked chest. “And now you need a new shirt, too.” He whispered with a snicker.

The two males rested, softly breathing together and enjoying the rhythm of their beating hearts. Haru nestled his face into soft blond hair, kissing the crown of the graduate’s head affectionately before he raised up to speak,

“I want you to stay here tonight.”

Nagisa kissed the back of Haru’s hand and entwined their fingers.

The student cleared his throat when he felt his pulse quicken at the request. “I..uh. Yeah, I would like to. I don’t exactly have anything…”

“I’ve got tons of stuff!” Nagisa chirped with an excited smile and climbed off the couch. “Let me go change first and bring you something for…that.” He gestured towards Haru’s messy stomach.

“I’ll be right back.” He leaned down as if to kiss the male but pulled away at the last second with a giggle.

“Fucking tease.” Haru sulked.

“Yeah yeah.” The graduate turned with a dismissive wave and sauntered out of the living room, swaying his pants-less hips seductively as he walked. Haru’s mouth watered at the way the bottom of his ass peeked out just below his grey cardigan, and he turned his body around completely to watch the way he worked his lean legs as he disappeared down a dark hallway.

 _This is nuts._ Haru thought while he looked around the dim room, shuffling his jeans back up and tucking himself away. The black sectional sofa was off to one end of the space, situated at the edge of what looked to be a black and grey area rug over dark hard-wood floors. The area he was seated in was partially illuminated by the light in the entryway, but the rest of the room was bathed in darkness.

But it definitely looked big.

He reached for his shirt and thought twice before slipping it on and then looked down at his chest, smiling at his sloppy skin and the two little swipe-marks. He considered it for a moment…but decided it was only sexy when Nagisa offered to feed it to him from his fingers. Now it was just creepy and gross.

Fuck it.

Dipping his middle finger as discretely as possible into the rapidly drying fluid, Haru looked at it and smeared it around the pad with his thumb.

_I’m disgusting I’m disgusting I’m disgusting_

He raised his hand slowly to his parted lips—

“ _You like it that much, Haru?_ ”

“FUCK!” Haru jumped a foot as the blond purred hotly into his ear.

Nagisa laughed and slid down over the back of the couch and plopped his head into the student’s lap.

The graduate reached a hand up to cup a bright red cheek. “So cute.” He giggled.

Haru just shut his eyes.

“We have plenty of time for that.” Nagisa rolled onto his knees. The student opened his eyes to see a washcloth in the blond’s small hands. “May I?”

Haru nodded and Nagisa ran the warm, damp towel tenderly over his stomach, cleaning him off with tender devotion and a soft smile on his lips. He took notice of the graduate’s new clothing, which consisted of an oversized white shirt capped with pink sleeves, and it drooped low over his chest while he leaned forward over the his body; Nagisa’s throat and collar bones were now splotched with red and purple bruises amidst the curved remnants of crude bite marks.

“Holy shit.” Haru whispered as he ran his fingers delicately over the bruised flesh, brows slanted in concern. “Nagisa…I’m so sorry…”

“Don’t be silly! It will fade. Besides, it looks cool.”

“Did I hurt you?” He asked while the blond took his hand and wiped off the soiled fingers, planting a kiss on the male’s knuckle.

“Of course not. Now let’s go find you some clothing.”

Nagisa tugged Haru by the hand, leading him off the couch and back to the dark hallway, though this time he flicked on the light.

Haru concentrated on regulating his breathing as the blond led him by the hand to his bedroom.

The student’s eyes fell again to the curve of Nagisa’s ass, hips hugged by yellow shorts that ended right above mid-thigh.

 _How does a man in his late twenties make_ ME _feel like some kind of sex offender?_

“Wow…this is…” Haru started as was pulled passed a wide doorway. “…not what I pictured.”

“You picture my bedroom a lot, Haru-chan?” Nagisa lilted as he crossed the large room to tall dark brown dresser.

“On occasion, yes.” The student admitted indignantly as he sat on the edge of a king-size bed, fitted with a bright white, billowy comforter. The room was immaculate, not cluttered and slightly messy as the graduate’s personality would have suggested. It was spotless, freshly dusted and vacuumed, and the bed looked like something out of a magazine with its down comforter and modern black box springs with matching headboard. Though nestled between the pristine white pillows was a small, well-loved plush penguin.

The student smiled inwardly as his eyes ran over the pure white walls, the dark furniture a stark contrast against a snowy backdrop. A large mirror adorned a corner next to a door which he assumed was a closet, and a bookshelf lined one portion of the wall with hundreds of all types of books arranged according to color in a reverse rainbow.

But his breath caught in his throat when his eyes rolled up passed the headboard. Flanked by two large, arched windows was—

“Is that a brain?”

“Mmhm.” The blond hummed as he dug around inside one of the bottom drawers.

Haru’s gaze flicked over a massive, abstract painting of deep greys cut with thin veins of pink and blue; black stitch-like lines randomly lacerated the mid-sagittal cross-section of the cortex, and the midbrain was embellished with vivid swirls of silvery hues of orange and green.

“It’s beautiful.” Haru breathed.

“Thanks.” Nagisa answered casually with brows furrowed at a pair of black sweatpants in his hands. “These should work!” He decided. He crossed the room and held the clothing out to Haru, who was still staring at the painting.

“Did you paint this?”

“Um. Sort of. Here, you change and I’ll find you a toothbrush.”

Alone in the bedroom, Haru stared at the clothing in his hands.

_Sort of?_

He shrugged and stripped off his jeans but stalled with his hands on his boxer briefs…he wasn’t exactly sure about the etiquette in this situation, then again, his dick was just stuffed into the man’s mouth—they were likely miles beyond the issue of pants. And fuck, it wasn’t like Rin didn’t occasionally borrow his pants, and he’s even stolen pairs of underwear when he needed it.

_Our relationship is weird._

With a sigh, he yanked off the boxers and quickly pulled on the sweatpants. He snatched the light grey, long sleeve t-shirt from the bed and pulled it on; he folded up his clothing and set it neatly on the bed before inspecting himself in the large mirror.

The sleeves were slightly too short, so he shoved them up his forearms…but then he frowned. It was a plain, soft shirt that fit well, aside from the arms, but something about it seemed familiar.

_Of course it’s familiar, is a fucking grey shirt._

He tilted his face to his shoulder and inhaled deeply, the scent of the graduate’s laundry soap giving him goosebumps and probably an eventual erection if he were to bury his face in the thing…but he detected something slightly different within the fragrance—something off. Not unpleasant, for sure, but something familiar…though… _not him_.

_He was married._

“I put a tooth brush on the sink in the bathroom for you.” Nagisa danced back into the room.

“Whose shirt is this?” The words slid unexpectedly from the student’s mouth. He whirled around, eyes wide. “I mean, never mind. That’s none of my business.”

Nagisa leaned against the doorway, arms folded and smirking. “No, that’s a valid question given our…circumstances.” He smiled and approached the male. “But it’s mine, and it looks good on you.” He kissed the student’s cheek softly as he visibly relaxed. “Although I don’t think I’ve worn it in years. So…what would you like to do?”

 _Don’t look at the bed don’t look at the bed._ Haru’s eyes flicked towards the bed. “Um. Can I see the rest of your apartment?”

Nagisa snickered. “Of course.”

* * *

 

“I had these dimmer switches installed last year.” The graduate explained as he flicked on the track lighting in the living room, adjusting the brightness to a soft, pleasant glow. “Having the ability to control the light helps me concentrate while I work. Controlling sensory input conditions and all that. I know you understand.” He said with a wink.

The living room was decorated much like the blond’s bedroom: black furniture and white walls adorned with various paintings depicting psychology-related elements—neurons, anatomical brains with German labeling, phrenology heads. None nearly as beautiful as what hung above the bed, though.

Dark hardwood extended throughout the entirety of the apartment, and a white and grey rug covered most of the living room floor. The large couch Haru had become familiar with matched a smaller love seat, and a glass side table resided between them.

A large flat screen TV hung above an electric fireplace, and the far wall opened into a bay window complete with a sitting area and coffee table, and next to it sat a sleek, black upright piano.

“Do you play?” Haru asked as he flipped the fallboard, running his fingers over the keys in a slightly more intimate manner than he intended.

“Hmm…” the graduate hummed as he sidled up to the instrument, eyeing the student’s long digits soundlessly caressing the keys.

Haru cleared his throat and snatched his hands from the piano, blushing.

“Do I play? Not exactly. Can I play?” He slid onto the bench and popped off the first few bars of Toccata and Fugue. “Yeah. I can.” He flashed Haru a brilliant smile while sliding the board back down. “But I don’t really have a reason to.”

“I would like to hear it sometime.”

“You will.” Nagisa assured him with a smirk. “You know about Chekov’s Gun, right?”

“Um…what?”

“Chekov, Russian author and doctor, once said that if you’re going to write about a gun hanging on a wall in one chapter, you better make it go off in the next one.”

Haru stared at him blankly.

“Nevermind. Would you like something to drink?”

Haru nodded and laughed nervously. “Yeah…that might help me calm down...” He sighed before shamefully lifting his arms to display his trembling hands.

Nagisa’s eyes swam with affection as he reached out and took the tremulous hands in his. “Are you still anxious around me?”

“Ah…yes. I don’t think that’s going to change…you’re…I don’t…fuck, I don’t know what it is you’re making me feel, but…it’s…there’s so much of it.”

The graduate stared into apprehensive blue eyes and stood, sliding his arms around the student’s neck. “You have no idea how attracted I am to you, do you?”

Haru did his best to look everywhere besides into the face of the man who made his heart race wildly with nothing more than a whisper of his name.

“Why though? Why…fuck, look at you. You’re—“

“Haru.” Nagisa interrupted with a sigh. He stood on his bare toes and pressed his soft lips sensually to the student’s mouth, pulling him down and pressing their bodies together.

“Mmm…” The graduate hummed when Haru relented, tilting his head down and deepening their kiss while sliding his hands beneath the graduate’s shirt, palming his lower back and squeezing the soft flesh. “Still nervous?” He breathed against Haru’s lips.

“Of course I am.” He dropped his head to Nagisa’s neck and breathed in. “God…why the fuck do you smell so good. What is it?”

“You know what it is.” Nagisa giggled.

“Hm?” Haru replied distractedly, running his nose up the side of the graduate’s neck.

“You’re studying biological psychology and you can’t figure out—ah!” Nagisa shivered. “—wh-why I smell good to you?”

_Is he suggesting I want to mate with him? Well…actually_

“So…drink?” The blond wiggled out of their embrace and strolled towards the kitchen.

Haru growled to himself, but followed behind obediently.

“I have wine, all kinds of liquor…hmmm…just no beer.” Nagisa said as he opened the refrigerator. “Unless you just want water…”

The student gaped at the figure standing in the light of the refrigerator amidst the backdrop of the dark kitchen. His t-shirt had dropped low over one of his shoulders, exposing his abused collar bones and a creamy shoulder, and one slender finger was tapping a full bottom lip in thought as he stared into bright light. His hip was popped and a sliver of his thin waist was exposed as he bounced to the beat of an imaginary song in his head.

As he drifted towards the beautiful man, the contents of the refrigerator caught his attention.

“Jesus Christ, Nagisa!”

Plastic containers of strawberries, peaches, and cherries lined the shelves among an array of cakes, creampuffs, cans of whipped cream, and what looked to be small bowls of colorful pudding. Four unopened bottles of wine were stuck in the door compartment.

“What is this?” Haru reached dumfounded into the fridge and extracted one of the small bowls.

“Icing!” Nagisa chirped and lifted the lid before swirling his fingers into the bright pink goo.

He licked the digits clean as a sharp, hissing laugh slipped through the student’s teeth. “This is so appropriate.” He mused as he replaced the container.

Haru selected a bottle of white wine from the door and Nagisa fetched them some glasses. “You know I think I’ve drank more these past couple weeks than I have in my entire life combined?”

“Why do you think that is?” The blond replied, opening the bottle with a loud pop.

“I…ah…not sure.” _Why bother saying that at all, you moron!_ Haru berated himself, unwilling to admit it was because of _him_.

“Whatever you say, Haru-chan.” Nagisa replied with a smirk as he handed the student a glass.

Nagisa wasn’t stupid.

“Hungry?” The blond asked as he crossed the room to the fridge again after taking a long sip of his wine.

“For cake and frosting?”

“I have other things!” Nagisa pouted as he plopped down child-like in front of the open door.

Haru sighed and sat down cross-legged next to his companion, who was shuffling containers around the shelves.

“See!” He pulled out the cherries and stuffed two into his mouth, chewing with narrowed eyes. “Wan- one?” 

“I didn’t realize maraschino cherries counted as food.” Haru teased as he reached for the fruit, putting his hand up as Nagisa threw a stem at his face.

“Mmm…delicious fooood.” The graduate hummed in pleasure. “So why don’t you drink?” He asked as he reached for a container of strawberries.

Haru took an ironic gulp of wine as he considered the implications of being honest.

“Well,” He began, setting his glass down and reaching for a strawberry. “I’ve never been fond of the taste, so I didn’t bother. But last summer…on my birthday…”

He plucked the leaves off the fruit. “I uh…Makoto and I…”

At the mention of Makoto, Nagisa perked up and regarded him with very interested eyes and a bite of his lip.

“I definitely had one too many, and I just wanted to let him know…how much I— _ahem—_ appreciated him, as a friend!…and things just got out of hand—“

“Did you sleep with him!? Oh god, please tell me EVERYTHING. How did you do it?” Nagisa was up on his knees with his hands on Haru’s shoulders. “Was he the t—“

“Whoa! No! We didn’t have sex!” Haru’s eyes flew wide and he leaned back instinctually, losing his balance and causing the blond to topple down on top of him. He straddled the male’s waist and turned his lips down in a pout as his shoulders dropped.

“Oh. Well then what happened?”

“Did you know you’re completely crazy?” The student said from his position on the floor. “We made out in front of everyone. Makoto’s girlfriend saw and ran away.”

“Makoto’s girlfriend?” Nagisa screwed up his face.

“Yeah, I don’t know what his deal is either. But yeah, I decided I probably shouldn’t drink any more after that.”

“Ugh, is that all?” The graduate said with genuine disappointment and popped a strawberry into his mouth from his perch on the male’s abdomen. “How dull.”

“I’m sorry one of the most embarrassing moments of my life is so _dull_ to you.” Haru frowned and propped up on his elbows, immediately having a strawberry shoved against his lips.

“Let me get this straight,” Nagisa chewed in thought after Haru accepted the strawberry from his fingers. “Your most embarrassing moment is kissing your incredibly attractive roommate in front of some people while you were a little tipsy. Okay. Got it.” Pink eyes rolled in their sockets and a glass of wine was drained. “Remind me never to take you outside, you might die of humiliation.”

“Should I tell Makoto you have a thing for him? I’d be totally willing to set something up fo—“

He was silenced by another strawberry shoved into his lips.

“It’s not him, Haru. Just the thought of your body getting all roughed up and shoved around by those big hands…mmmm…” He tightened his thighs around the male’s waist and ran his hands down his chest. “So…how about you finish that wine and have another…three or four glasses? Sound good?” Hips wiggled playfully.

Haru rolled his eyes and tried to ignore his half-erection. “You’re going to have to get off of me for that to happen.”

“Make me.” The graduate lilted.

Haru slanted his brows and breathed out a laugh. He tried to sit up but strong, slender fingers gripped at his shoulders and held him in place. “Are we really doing this?”

Blond locks bounced with an enthusiastic nod.

Haru huffed and dropped onto his back.

“Aw…giving up?”

“No.” He mumbled. _Definitely not._

The student slid his hands to the creamy thighs flanking his abdomen and ran the pads of his fingers up and underneath the yellow shorts, smirking at the feeling of goosebumps raising under his touch.

“Ah!” Nagisa mewled and his eyes rolled back as his fingers twisted into Haru’s shirt at the unexpected assault. Cool hands slipped from under the small shorts and instead gripped the graduate’s hips, shoving him roughly backwards a couple inches until a slight roll of hips was able to give him the upper hand.

“Ngh! That’s—hah ah! Cheating!” The blond cried with a whimper, struggling to keep himself from tilting his own hips to grind against the self-satisfied male.

“Mmm…you never said there were rules.” Haru breathed as he moved the thin pelvis on top of his own.

“Gah—you’re terrible.” Nagisa dropped his head over Haru’s chest and slowly dragged his hips forward and back.

The student cupped Nagisa’s jaw and pulled him in close, capturing him in a genuinely needy kiss. Once the blond wrapped his arms around the male’s neck, Haru pushed himself up into a sitting position, pulling the graduate’s legs to wrap around his waist as they made out.

After an aggressive roll of his tongue, Haru pulled back and smirked. “As much as I love kissing you…” He murmured breathlessly before knocking Nagisa forward and catching him before his back hit the floor. “…I win.”

“So tricky, Haru-chan.” The blond huffed as the younger male hovered over him, gently removing his arm and letting Nagisa’s back rest against the floor. “You _love_ kissing me?”

Haru nodded.

Raising to a sitting position, Nagisa grabbed at the student’s wine glass, bringing it to his lips first before handing it back, and then spun around and plopped back down in front of the open refrigerator. Haru shuffled his legs under him until he was in a sitting position with the graduate’s back pressed against his chest.

“Good.” Nagisa whispered quietly as he plucked a strawberry from the container and fed it to the student as he knocked his head back against his shoulder. “I love it, too.”

Haru took the fruit from delicate fingers before dropping his head and slowly kissing up the graduate’s pulse, running his nose up the shell of his ear and basking in that intoxicating aroma.

“And I love the way you smell.” He set his wine glass down and ran his hands up the male’s slender, yet shockingly strong, arms. He brushed his nose back down the side of Nagisa’s neck, enjoying the shiver that zipped through his small body. “And I love the way you taste.” He planted an affectionate kiss to his bare shoulder.

Haru slid his hand up and over the low sleeve and traced his fingers over the ridge of exposed collar bones, eliciting a hiss of pleasure from the graduate lips; his hands continued to wander beneath the baggy shirt, teasing with feathery, electrified touches that had Nagisa shuddering and moaning and dragging his fingernails up Haru’s thighs.

As he began to plant heated kisses down the curve of Nagisa’s neck, he clutched at where the wide collar of his shirt fell on his thin bicep, kneading the skin and dragging his lips down the swell of the pale shoulder until his sensitive lips traced over—

Haru stilled.

The small mewling pants emanating from the blond were urging him to continue but some part of his hazy mind insisted that he stop.

The pads of his fingers crawled up and over the spot where his lips just were, and were met with a thick, jagged, abrasion.

He softly grazed an area of slippery, raised flesh that ran about two inches before an abrupt angle changed the direction of the scar and continued another five inches around and down the length of Nagisa’s otherwise flawless, milky-white skin.

Nagisa sucked in a sharp breath and froze.

“Nagisa.” Haru whispered. “What’s this?”    


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> _You were going to eat my semen off your stomach, but now you’re shy?_  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for some fucking fluff.

“Nagisa.” Haru whispered. “What’s this?”

“That.” The graduate exhaled softly against Haru’s neck, thin fingers wrapping gently around his wrist and pulling the hand from the marred flesh, “Is from an accident from a very long time ago. A relic.”

The student leaned back, dark brows crinkled with concern and lips parted with an unspoken question.

“Ancient runes!” Nagisa grinned with a swivel of his waist, coming to rest on his knees in front of Haru.

“Makes me look badass, right? Chicks dig scars.”

An abrupt, snorting laugh burst from the student as his face softened, blue eyes still tracing the scar.

“Chicks?”

“Mmm…sexy undergraduates then?” Nagisa nudged Haru’s temple with his nose, pulling his gaze from his arm and kissing him lovingly on the mouth. “So! Can I show you my favorite thing in the apartment?”

“You mean it’s not this sugar dungeon we’re sitting in front of?” The student teased. 

“Sugar dungeon, huh? I like that.” The blond said as he shoved the berries back into the fridge before scooping up their discarded stems and leaves.

Nagisa poured both of them fresh glasses of wine and led Haru by the hand back down the hallway, stopping in front of a white door identical to his bedroom.

“Are you reeeady?”

“Um…you don’t have any _other_ kinds of…dungeons in here…do you?” Haru asked, only half-kidding.

Nagisa stalled with his fingers on the knob. “Is it weird that I have no idea how you want me to answer that? Well, either way—“

The door swung open inward to reveal,

“A bathroom?” Dark eyebrows lifted in question. But as he walked in, he realized is wasn’t like any bathroom he’d ever seen in an apartment before.

The floor was a pale hardwood, and the walls were lined with dark grey tile, giving way to black molding, separating the tiles from the lighter grey of the painted walls. A pure white, wall-length counter and sink stood beneath a frameless mirror extending to the ceiling, and black cabinets flanked either side of the glass. Track lighting reflected the style of the living room, and holy shit was the room massive – it was easily the size of Nagisa’s bedroom, and to one side was a huge, glass-paneled shower. White, fluffy towels hung from various racks, and a black bench was nestled against one of the walls of the shower.

However, the most eye-catching aspect of the room was the elevated Jacuzzi-style bathtub that took up an entire corner of the room, the basin a sparkling white and adorned with chrome taps and faucet.

“Go sit.” Nagisa commanded, pointing to the stepped edge of the Jacuzzi and heading to the sink.

Haru exhaled loudly before taking a gulp of wine and wandering over to the tub, stepping up and taking a seat like he was told and setting down his glass beside him.

“Nagisa, and I’m sorry if this is a rude question, but are you rich?”

“Compared to you, yeah. Compared to rich people, no.”

Haru scowled but his face immediately softened when he saw the blond leaning into the mirror, biting the corner of his bottom lip while running fingers along his neck and inspecting the bruises, a soft giggle humming in his throat.

Sipping his wine from his perch on the wide edge of the Jacuzzi, Haru’s eyes swept the large room appreciatively. He now understood how Nagisa was able to speak to him on the phone yesterday morning from inside the shower without destroying it—the thing was the size of the student’s entire bathroom.

Haru licked his lips at the memory of that phone call while staring blankly at the inside of the shower through the transparent walls, squirming slightly as he recalled the details.

A sudden rushing noise had Haru’s eyes darting quickly to the side as Nagisa leaned over the tall rim of the tub, testing the temperature of the water flowing from the silver spout.

“Is someone taking a bath?” Haru asked as he watched the water bubble and swirl along the bottom of the sterling white tub. He could feel the effect of the wine flowing its way across his chest and down his arms, and a shiver whipped through him in response to the steam from the water and the brassy, clarion melody of the stream gushing from the faucet.

“That wasn’t the plan. Unless…that’s what you would like to do…” Nagisa replied somewhat timidly, keeping his eyes on his fingers in the flowing water. 

“Erm—No!” _MAYBE_ “I’m just…what exactly is the plan?”

“Roll up your pants and take off your shirt.” The blond answered vaguely, swishing his hand in the air and flicking away the moisture as he straightened up.

Haru narrowed his eyes but did as he was told, first rolling up each pant leg but then hesitating before pulling off his shirt.

“You were going to eat my semen off your stomach, but now you’re shy?”

Blue eyes widened as the student’s face lit scarlet. “I’m not…arg!” He yanked the shirt off and threw it on the ground. “Now what.”

“Now I get to admire you.” Nagisa stepped back and put a hand on his hip, ogling the shit out of a flustered Haru and humming thoughtfully, pleased as punch at the way the student still blushed like mad under his gaze.

Haru turned away and killed the rest of his wine in a panicky gulp.

Nagisa tapped his deviously smirking lips with his index finger, narrowing his eyes and nodding his head as his eyes swept the student’s bare skin; however the smirk quickly dissolved into an expression of genuine admiration and desire as he wet his lips and swallowed thickly, stepping towards the male.

“Damn.” Nagisa breathed, running his eyes over Haru again under the bright lights of the bathroom.

The student shifted uncomfortably under the scrutiny and fidgeted with the empty wine glass, staring at his hands.

“Even though it’s so much fun to tease you,” The blond whispered as he approached the nervous undergrad, placing his hands on his shoulders. “You really are absolutely gorgeous.” He punctuated the compliment with a peck to the male’s warm forehead.

“Mmm…” The student relented with a sigh as Nagisa traced a finger down his chest. “So…what are we doing?”

“Something to help you relax. Now turn around, feet in the tub.”

Haru spun slowly and lifted his legs over the rim and splashed his feet into the steamy, burbling water as he watched the blond pad across the tiled floor and retrieve something from a high cabinet, grinning inwardly at the way he had to stand on his toes and stretch his arms up to reach the shelf.

He closed his eyes at the feeling of liquid warmth curling around his toes and shivered again; goosebumps prickling his skin as the light caress of fingertips suddenly drifted up his spine and across the back of his neck, lingering briefly behind the shell of his ear. He heard the snap of a plastic cap, and a second later small, slick fingers were kneading with exquisite pressure into his tense shoulders.

“Oh…oh my god…”

“Feel good?” Nagisa purred into Haru’s ear.

“You have no idea…shit, is there anything you can’t do?” The student asked, melting.

“Let’s see…umm…there has to be something…I can’t cook very well.”

“Mm…that’s okay, I can.” His eyes flew open as he realized the implication of that statement.

Nagisa only giggled as he moved those marvelous hands of his down lower, allowing Haru the luxury of forgetting whatever stupid thing just fell out of his mouth. His toes curled in the hot, rising water and he slipped his own hands behind him to softly run his nails down the side of the graduate’s smooth thighs.

“I can’t…ah!...mm…I can’t…math.” Nagisa faltered as Haru’s feathery touches made him shudder with delight, the pads of the student’s fingers brushing the sensitive skin at the backs of his knees.

Blond locks ruffled against the side of Haru’s face as Nagisa dropped his head down, moaning airily in response to the touch. “Hey…this is supposed to be for you.” He breathed against Haru’s temple, coiling his arms around his chest.

“But I like touching you. And I think you like…this…” Haru laughed at the way the blond whined into his ear when his fingers crawled up under his shorts around the back of his leg. “Sensitive there?”

“Mnn…apparently. Hey…hey!” The graduate smacked Haru’s hands away from his thighs. “I have an objective here. Stop being so distracting.”

The miffed student grunted in protest, but immediately became liquid in the blond’s hands once again as he resumed the massage.

This was an entirely new level of pleasure that Haru was completely unfamiliar with. Sexual stimulation was once thing – a rather fantastic thing, quite obviously – but he had never been pampered like this, never been the object of this type of affection. Not even Rin with all of his boundary issues had ever touched him like this.

_Is there such a thing as ‘massage virginity’?_

“I think…I have a confession to make.” The graduate mumbled hesitantly.

“Hmmm?” Haru hummed blissfully as absurdly skilled fingers worked his neck like a dream.

_You can be an axe murderer for all I care, just please don’t stop doing what you’re doing._

“Remember when I said that I wanted you to kiss me for a long time?”

“Mhmm.”

“That wasn’t exactly the exaggeration you thought it was.”

The student’s eyes rolled up as his head lolled back against Nagisa’s chest, the backs of the blond’s fingers running down the side of his face and underneath his chin. Haru took the small hand in his and nuzzled his cheek against the palm before sliding the slender digits over his lips.

“Your hands are so soft.” He murmured against the skin. “What are you talking about?”

“I already knew who you were when we met in the psych lab.”

It took Haru’s tipsy mind a few moments to catch up to that. “You mean you had seen me around school?”

“Nope. The first time I saw you in school was when you shouted at me and gave me heart arrhythmia.”

“I didn’t shout at you.”

“You screamed at me. ‘Hey fuck you’ or something like that. So mean, Haru, so mean. I almost died from your mean.”

“Um…That’s not what happened.”

“Mmm…okay fine – the arrhythmia still stands.”

“So are you going to explain yourself?”

“Explain what?”

“Nagisa.”

“Well I guess I had the heart arrhythmia for a while befo—“

“NAGISA”

“Ah! Fine! Since you asked so sweetly.” He leaned down and bit Haru’s shoulder. “Do you ever think about how someone’s strongest, most vivid memory of you can be something that you don’t have the slightest recollection of?”

“…what?”

“You really look cute in your work uniform.” Nagisa giggled.

“Oh for fucks sake.”

“Mmmhm…you worked a wedding I was at this past spring. You were standing behind the bar opening a bottle of champagne when I first saw you…you handed it to one of your coworkers, they said something to you, you looked at me and then you walked away.”

Blue eyes stared unseeing into the water, narrowing as the student combed his memory.

“I remember feeling frozen. It was like your eyes, ugh, your eyes…I spent the rest of the night trying to get you to look at me again.” Nagisa breathed out a laugh, “Then my date asked you for coffee and my heart almost beat out of my chest. You brushed my shoulder when you set the cup down… you were so close and I couldn’t even bring myself to say anything to you. I sat there blushing and mute like a love-sick teenager, peeking at you out of the corner of my eye. There was something so intimidating about you.”

Haru’s face was burning as the graduate spoke; he was right, he had absolutely no memory of seeing him before – and that somehow made his chest ache with guilt.

“You were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.”

A pained huffing noise rattled in the student’s throat as he struggled to remember. But it just wasn’t possible. He just didn’t possess that memory.

“Don’t worry,” The graduate continued, reading his mind like the perceptive little fuck he was, “I wouldn’t expect you to remember something so insignificant. I’m guessing you’ve worked there for a while? A few years?”

Haru nodded.

“Okay, well, when you first started there I’m sure _everything_ caught your attention. You were overwhelmed with new stimuli and the unfamiliar situation and just everything was worth your attention. Then after a while you got used to it all, almost bored and complacent with all the activity. You stopped having to think about your actions, what to do, how to actually do your job. So instead you switched to some sort of an autopilot. You stopped noticing unfamiliar faces, and they just blended into the monotony of your familiar job. The unfamiliar by default became the overly familiar. There’s no way you could have remembered me.”

Dark brows furrowed. “That…makes sense.” _You adorable fucking nerd._

“It wasn’t like I was brave enough to say anything to you. Actually, by the time I summoned the courage to talk to you, you were gone.”

He couldn’t be sure if it was the wine, the way Nagisa’s voice dropped to a hush with that last sentence, or the way he mournfully grazed the tips of his fingers over Haru’s lips, but his stomach suddenly fluttered with a mix of grief and muddled arousal.

He turned and gathered the blond into his arms, pulling him down into his lap and held him tight against his chest; with no idea what to say, he implored his hammering heart to communicate his words for him – even if he had no idea what those words might be.

“Mm…” Nagisa hummed when Haru nuzzled into his temple. “So how do you think I felt when I spun around and saw you sitting there in the lab?”

“Wait…” The student began, finding his voice again, “You recognized me after all that time?”

“Of course. But by then I also knew your name.”

“How?” The student murmured against fluffy blonde hair.

“Levi.”

Haru flinched.

“I walked into his office on Monday and I just wouldn’t shut up about you. Not that I had much to say, but that didn’t stop me from going on and on about you...your eyes, your hair, your lips, the way you walked, the way your sexy hands moved…he knew immediately that I was talking about you.”

_OH._

“He just glared at me and said ‘you know he goes here, right?’. So then I was like…how could he possibly know that based on such a rambling description? Well, he must have known you well enough to know where you worked, which, again, was rather curious, right? Why would a professor know such subtle, intimate details of a student?

…

“…it wasn’t hard to put the pieces together.”

_You smart little shit._

“Haru…” Nagisa wiggled out of Haru’s arms and stood in the still-rising water, cupping the student’s flushed cheek with slight pain in his eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for…I would never have said anything had I known that it was _you_ with Levi…it wasn’t really a secret that he was…doing things with a student, but he doesn’t share much about himself. I had no idea he would stop…just because of me.”

Staring blankly into Nagisa’s worried eyes, Haru wrestled with wrapping his dulled brain around what the graduate was saying.

 _Is he…apologizing? To me? For…_ THAT _?_

Eyebrows slanted in confusion and blue eyes drifted to the blond’s full lips, currently being gnawed on with concern. He blinked and cocked his head as his eyes traveled down the bruised throat, over his abused collar bones, down to his arm to—

“Haru, please say something.”

Haru’s attention snapped back to those magenta eyes, wide and flashing with distress, the fingers of one delicate hand entwined in the front of his oversized shirt while the other fidgeted with hesitation as he oscillated between the decision to reach towards the student’s face or bring it to join the other gripping at his chest.

Wordlessly, the student reached for the troubled blond and slipped his arms around his tiny waist, pulling him a step closer before lifting his chin, meeting the male’s anxious gaze. Fingers wove their way into silky locks and Haru pulled the graduate down into a light kiss.

“I much prefer this alternative.” He breathed onto puffy lips.

Nagisa dipped that last inch to connect with Haru again, lips moving gradually – affectionately; until the graduate allowed his relief to consume him.

The kiss swiftly became urgent, frenzied, as Nagisa curled his fingers around Haru’s strong shoulders and dug his nails into his back. He slipped his legs over the male’s thighs and let him support his weight as he clung to him, forcing his lips open with a demanding sweep of his tongue and wrapping his legs around his waist.

Sounds of swallowed sighs and low moans mingled with the rushing noise of the water as the males roughly made out, Haru’s hands dropping to grope the blond’s ass to yank him closer, kneading the firm muscle hidden beneath his yellow shorts.

“Mm! Hah—hey,” Haru gasped once Nagisa went to work nibbling on his earlobe. “The water…ah…shouldn’t you turn it off? It’s getting high.”

“Nnnhnn.” The graduate responded, suckling at a spot behind Haru’s ear. “Don’t wanna.”

“Well then…”

“Ah!” Nagisa yelped as the student leaned forward and loosened his grip, threatening to drop the male into the water, helpless from his position with his legs stuck behind Haru’s back.

“I technically still owe you a punishment, right?” Haru narrowed his eyes as he leaned forward. “From your little game?”

“NO NO NO! I don’t want to get wet!” Nagisa cried as he tightened his grip on Haru’s body, thin arms winding tightly around his neck. “Please!”

“Please what?” The student teased, standing up with the blond latched on to him, his own arms supporting the lightweight frame.

“Please don’t drop meeee!” Nagisa squealed as he knocked his head back, an earnest laugh burbling from his throat. “Haru! Ah! Okay okay put me down! I’ll turn it off!”

Nagisa’s back nudged against the cool tiled wall as Haru raised a dark eyebrow suggestively, but he loosened his hold and allowed the blond to drop his feet into the water.

“Well that’s um…you’re stronger than you look.” Nagisa said with a dark blush as he turned off the faucet.

“You weigh almost nothing.” The student stated as he plopped back down on the edge with a smug smile.

“So you’re not upset? Or mad or anything?”

“…why would I be?”

“Because I was the reason that you and Levi—“

“Okay, Stop.” Haru said, shaking his head. “We weren’t like… _that_. There were no…feelings.”

“Yeah but it was still my fault—“

“He obviously didn’t give a shit either if he stopped just because you had some little…infatuation.” Haru blushed.

Nagisa fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. “Maybe. I’m not so sure, though.”

“What do you mean?”

“Levi and I have known each other for a while.” The graduate explained with a smile as he joined Haru on the side of the tub, splashing his feet around in the water. “He can get sort of…I think he feels like he owes me something for some reason.”

“Owes you something?”

Nagisa remained silent, his eyes fixed on his feet as he swished them around, brows furrowed as he chewed on the inside of his mouth.

“Never mind,” Haru reconsidered. “So why didn’t you try to find me when you knew I went to school with you?”

“I felt guilty! And, I don’t know, sort of creepy? But then Levi met that kid and then I figured you already probably had a boyfriend or – heaven forbid – a girlfriend or someone who was completely obsessed with you!” Nagisa abruptly stood and slapped aggressively at a switch and suddenly the Jacuzzi came roaring to life, bubbling and swirling around their legs.

“And then there you were, all pissed off looking in the psych lab. God, you really hated me, didn’t you?” Nagisa spoke animatedly, “But when I realized that it was _you_ …I honestly thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to run out of there or jump on you. Guess I did a little of both.”

Haru reached out and tugged the blond by the hand until he was standing between his legs; he slid his hands up underneath the large shirt and settled them against the small of Nagisa’s back, who sighed at the gentle touch.

“So are you sufficiently relaxed by now?” Nagisa asked, leaning forward and murmuring into black hair.

Haru answered with a nod and a tickling graze to side of the graduate’s thighs as he leaned back and raised his head. “Is this where you charm all the boys?”

With a roll of his eyes, Nagisa playfully shoved the side of Haru’s face. “Are you _charmed_ , Haru?”

“Yes.”

“Then yes – this is where I charm _all the boys_.”

The student wound his arms around the blond’s waist and tilted his head up, resting his chin on his chest as he stared into those bright magenta eyes.

He squeezed the soft flesh beneath his hands as he pressed his face into the male’s shirt, inhaling deeply, turning himself on as he reveled in the sweet scent clinging to the fabric.

“Haru! You’re tickling!”

Sparkling, half-lidded blue eyes raised as Haru bit his lip. He dipped his head down and nibbled on the hem of Nagisa’s shirt before lifting it with his teeth and glancing up at the male through dark lashes.

Nagisa wet his lips before opening his mouth to speak, but Haru had other plans; he slid his hands around the slender waist and hitched up the blond’s shirt, exposing his pale, smooth skin over the hint of toned muscle.

Breath hitched and the male stiffened when Haru flicked his tongue out against the flesh, indulging in the luscious harmony of slight saltiness and whatever flavor he had come to uniquely associate with Nagisa, one that he was still yet able to identify – but one that he found to repeatedly make his cock twitch and heart thrum with excitement.

He nipped and licked at the abdomen while rubbing his thumbs in soft circles at the side of the blond’s ribcage, glancing up when he felt trembling fingers slide into his hair.

Nagisa’s head was tipped forward, blond bangs fluttering against the sides of his face, and his eyes were closed as breathy little moans of appreciation hummed in his throat. Pink eyes cracked open once Haru paused and a bashful smile curled onto reddened lips.

“What are you feeling right now?” The blond whispered.

Haru responded by rising to his feet and slipping his hands fully beneath the blond’s shirt, lifting it off over his chest and thin arms and casting it onto the floor before backing the small body against the cool tile of the wall.

Nagisa gasped at the sudden coldness against his skin but he was quickly silenced by Haru’s mouth on his; the student’s hand gripping his jaw and angling his head up for better access as he pressed their bodies together – warm skin against warm skin.

Small fingers found their way to Haru’s back again, coiling against skin and trim muscle in response to the student’s tongue in his mouth, fiery digits teasing along the waistband at the front of the graduate’s yellow shorts.

“Touch me, Haru.” The blond whimpered into Haru’s lips, his hips swaying forward.

“I am touching you.”

“More.”

“More what?” The student breathed against parted lips.

“Please…anything…just touch me.” Nagisa sighed hotly, lowering his head into the crook of Haru’s neck. “I need you to touch me.”

Haru’s heart fluttered at the blond’s pleading whispers and warm breath on his shoulder; he was definitely more in control of himself now than he had been earlier, but every rock of Nagisa’s hips was propelling him further from the edge of sound judgment.

The student swallowed; his growing erection was pressing into the base of the blond’s belly as he rolled his head over Haru’s shoulder, the huffing of quiet breaths ghosting over the base of his neck as Nagisa began to pant and rut against his thigh.

He could feel Nagisa’s own arousal beneath his fingers as they slipped under the top of his shorts; his eyes flicked down to glance between them, mouth watering as his gaze fixed on the damp spot on the material.

“Please…” Nagisa whined.

Without a word, Haru dropped to his knees in the bubbling water – clothing be damned. He leaned forward and planted a kiss above the top of the male’s shorts before dragging his lips down against the moist apex of the swell beneath the soft fabric.

“Ah!” Nagisa cried, throwing his head back against the tile and pushing the back of a hand against his mouth. An eager tongue glided over the clothed member as Haru’s hands gripped the tops of lithe thighs.

Rocking his hips forward, Nagisa keened at the pressure granted by the student’s warm lips; Haru slid his nose along the side of the clothed shaft and tilted his head up when Nagisa emitted a rather gravelly moan. That angelic face all twisted up with need and desperation, and the way small fingers worked through his hair and down his neck, nails nipping into his shoulders after a teasing flick of the tongue was something he would never be able to get enough of from that point forward.

Full lips were parted as Nagisa’s breath fled in huffing moans; Haru slipped his hands around the back of the graduate’s sensitive thighs and squeezed, pulling him forward and pressing his lips to the ridge at the underside of the head beneath the fabric.

“F-fuck Haru—mmn!” The blond groaned as Haru cupped his ass; the student offered one final kneading squeeze before tugging the shorts down over the swell of the perfectly formed, supple orbs.

Fingers finally looped into the front of the waistband and lifted it over the graduate’s weeping tip, dragging the shorts over quivering thighs.

The blond’s flushed, glistening head bobbed in the air as Haru slid the shorts down, thin legs stepped out of the remaining clothing before carelessly abandoning it in the water; breath filled active lungs in a shuddering gasp as Haru’s thumbs pressed gently against the base of his cock, pushing it flush against his stomach.

A trickle of precum dribbled down the underside of the deliciously pink, hard flesh, and the sight was just so arousing that Haru couldn’t help but grip his own pulsing member beneath his soaked pants, dragging his hand over himself and rutting once into his palm.

He groaned lowly as he leaned forward to drag the tip of his tongue ever so lightly up Nagisa’s length, collecting the bitter saltiness onto his palate as the male hissed and knocked his head forward.

“You—you’re ah—teasing!”

“I’m tasting.” Haru murmured quietly, lifting his eyes.

“I’m not c-complaning.” Nagisa whimpered. “It’s ah—amazing!”

“God…you’re…everything about you…” Long fingers wrapped delicately around the ruddy flesh as the student stuffed his nose into the base of Nagisa’s cock, lewdly inhaling a breath over light brown hair. The lingering musky scent of their earlier endeavors and the abrupt cry the teasing contact pulled from the blond made Haru’s dick thump hotly and his mouth water.

_Perfect._

The student chose to his remove his hand from his own cock to instead focus entirely on the gorgeous form before him.

The graduate trembled as Haru placed both hands back on his thighs, intentionally ghosting the pads of his fingers across the flesh, splaying them out before curling them again gently and placing them flush against the prickled skin.

He cast one last half-lidded gaze upwards and was met with wide, pleading eyes, brows furrowed with want as the blond licked his lips in eager anticipation.

With a deep breath, Haru wrapped his hand firmly around the male’s cock, stroking it up the length with agonizing slowness and drawing a watery moan of approval from a pale throat.

The student swiped his thumb over the leaking slit at the same moment he ran his fingers of his other hand around the back of Nagisa’s thigh, causing his knees to buckle slightly at the sensation and a cry of pleasure to tumble past his lips.

Haru dipped down and pressed his lips to the underside of the shaft and slowly – very, very, slowly – licked a wet line up to the slick, pulsing head.

He gripped the base and flattened his tongue as it dragged over the tip, swirling and flicking the hot muscle along the salty skin.

“Oh fuck—ah…hah—nnmm! H-haru—“ Nagisa’s eyes fluttered closed in ecstasy, but he fought to keep them open to watch the head of his cock push past the student’s lips, his hand establishing a steady, pumping rhythm that had the graduate’s hips swaying forward and back.

Haru bobbed his head and swallowed down, the blond’s precum smearing along the back of his tongue as the head slipped into his tight throat. He hadn’t done this in a while, so his gag reflex wasn’t as trained as it once was; he faltered once and choked around the flesh, saliva dripping down the length and into the water below, but the high pitched cry and sharp tug to his silky locks suggested that blond might have preferred it that way.

The student was getting high on the masculine yet honeyed scent of the male in his mouth, and his mind was reeling at the mewling sobs spilling from Nagisa’s lips as his small hands fisted into black hair. He could feel every cell in the graduate’s body succumb to his rolling tongue, every flick to the head made him tremble and writhe and claw at his scalp. Half-spoken utterances of Haru’s name and unintelligible words filled the humid room, moans and gasps were thrown against the slick tile as Nagisa began stuttering his hips forward, sliding his dick in and out of the student’s hot throat.

The way the blond sought more of the tight heat made Haru absolutely insane, his own neglected erection throbbed incessantly in the bubbling water, but all he wanted was to continue to make the beautiful male feel good – so he couldn’t let it end yet.

Reluctantly, he pulled off of the pink, soaking cock and angled his head up, chest heaving with deep, needy breaths, and stared into magenta eyes wrecked from interrupted bliss. He continued stroking the male’s length at a slow pace, planting kisses along the curve of slender hip bones and humming against the skin.

“Mm…Ha…ru…” Nagisa wimpered and leaned his head back against the tile, his blond hair clinging to his damp forehead. “Why…why did—ah!”

Haru began to trail light kisses down the inside of a creamy thigh, alternating between nipping and lapping at the skin, blue eyes flicking up to admire the blond’s face as he melted under his hands. The small body jerked sideways as one of his knees again momentarily gave out; but the student’s strong hands flew to his hips to steady him. 

“Ma—hah—my skin…is on fire…mmmfuck, your mouth—“ Nagisa gasped as Haru suckled above the inside of his knee while his fingers crawled around to his ass, slipping beneath the orbs and painting sizzling lines of electricity down the backs of his thighs.

The student’s heart hammered wildly as Nagisa’s reactions turned him on like nothing ever had before. His face was hot and his dick twitched madly against his thigh, but the urgency of his own need for pleasure was nothing compared to his desire to indulge in the blond’s enjoyment of the sensations he could provide to him.

Haru kissed back up the male’s thigh and continued past his dick to softly drag his lips across his toned abs, over his navel, kissing along the ridges of his ribcage, anything he could reach from his position on his knees received the same affections.

He continued with those light touches to the blond’s thighs which he knew he absolutely loved, and finally slipped the male’s leaking tip into his mouth again, bobbing down and engulfing he flesh until it hit the back of his throat.

“FU—Ah! Ha-Haru!” Nagisa wailed, twisting his fingers into the black hair once more, heels slipping against the bottom of the tub as he fought to stay upright. Haru moaned as the cock dribbled into the back of his mouth, bobbing once, twice, and pulling off of the head with a wet pop.

“You taste amazing.” He murmured into the side of the shaft before running his tongue sloppily over the slippery skin. Haru returned a hand to Nagisa’s cock, loosely encircling the head with his fingers and giving a slow pump as he worked his tongue over and up the underside of the throbbing dick.

“You’re—you…nngh…f-fuck fuck! That’s—you—you’re—ah!” Nagisa choked brokenly as his hands slapped against the tile, fingers curling ineffectually as he tried to find purchase to stabilize his pleasure-wilted body.

“You sound like you’re crying.” Haru paused, glancing up and pushing his lips to the top of the male’s thigh.

“I think I am!” Nagisa rasped, flicking his fingers over the single tear slipping down his cheek.

“I need you to sit down.” Haru stated, gripping the trembling hips.

“Hah—what? No—“ The blond couldn’t process requests.

“Yes. Come here.” Haru gathered the male around the waist and shifted them both around, roughly shoving Nagisa to smack down on the edge of the tub.

“No—ah!” The male repeated again as Haru gripped the undersides of his thighs and stuffed his cock into the back of his throat. One small hand clutched desperately at the edge of the Jacuzzi while the other tangled into the student’s hair as he struggled not to slip off completely. “No—no…you—you have to—“

“Hm?” The student hummed around the flesh.

“You!” Thin digits twisted tighter in black locks.

“Hah—what?” Haru gasped as he lifted off of the stiff length. “Me what?”

Pink eyes clenched tight as Nagisa bit his lip. “I want you to…to get off too.” He finally breathed.

Haru blinked, but couldn’t help but smile; he rose to place a sweet kiss to the blond’s bitten lips. “Let me take care of you.”

Nagisa jerked subtly and his eyes flew open wide – but only for a moment – before he swallowed, bottom lip caught again in his teeth as he nodded timidly.

The student kissed back down Nagisa’s tight abdomen before taking a thin leg and placing it over his shoulder. He grasped the male’s hips and leaned down close, making out with the dripping tip and tonging the slit before sliding it past his lips.

“Fu-mmnn…so good. Ah, god—“ Nagisa clutched the back of Haru’s head and dug his heel into his back as he widened his legs, pressing his other knee to the inside of the tub while moaning his gratitude. 

The high-pitched tonal quality the graduate’s voice would take on each time his dick nudged the back of Haru’s throat was making the younger male hungry for more, and he amped up the pace, sucking and bobbing and swirling his tongue around the head as he dug the tips of his fingers into Nagisa’s round ass like he couldn’t get enough of it.

Nagisa was hanging on for dear life as well; his hands fisted into the student’s hair and his leg wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer as Haru was pretty much supporting all of his weight anyway. His one foot slipped and squeaked beneath the water against the slick acrylic as he was tugged from his perch, his upper body pitching forward automatically to retain its balance.

His one hand flew from black sweaty locks and latched on to the chrome spout beside him as his dick was stuffed again and again into Haru’s throat; his ass lifted completely off the side as the student fucked his own mouth with Nagisa’s cock.

“H—AH! HARU FUCK I’M GONNA DIE! That’s—AH—Go-OD! SO GOOD!” The blond wailed.

Haru could feel the graduate was close; his cock was twitching and throbbing on his tongue and leaking heavily and sweetly into his throat. Cum was never something Haru would ever describe as particularly good tasting, but the fact that it was _his_ made the flavor positively nectarous.

And fuck he needed more of it.

He hummed and moaned around the slick flesh, urging Nagisa closer to his peak with the vibrations in his throat and the whirling of his tongue. He swallowed up the head and tightened his lips around the base, gagging and choking but it didn’t even matter.

Nagisa writhed and his hand slipped over the faucet as that pressure built within his hips and the base of his cock began to twitch. He dug the tips of his fingers into the back of Haru’s head and clenched his leg tighter around his neck as the student continued to swallow around his head, constricting his throat and pushing his tongue hard against the underside of the length.

The blond’s small ribcage expanded and contracted erratically with every huff of shallow, ragged breath, his face was flushed and damp, blond hair clinging to his forehead as humid pants fled red lips – lips suddenly struggling to form words. 

“AH—Ha—NGH—MM! Ha-ru—ugh. UGH! HARU FUCK I’m coming fuck I’M COMING—MMNN—“

Haru moaned as he felt the first beat of Nagisa’s spurting cock in his mouth, the thick fluid shooting against his tongue and into his throat; he rolled the slick muscle around his mouth and over the surging tip, tasting the male’s ecstasy as he fed it to him.

Nagisa’s back arched as he burst into the student’s mouth again and again while his fingers slipped down the slick spout as he thrashed.

“Haru yes—yes fuck ugh Har— **AH!** ”

The graduate was still coming when he yelped and fell into the water; his cock wrenched from Haru’s mouth as cum spilled down his chin the split second it took him to realize what had just happened.

Nagisa popped back up and tackled Haru against the side of the tub, thighs flanking the student’s waist as his small hand wrapped around his own cock as he pumped himself through the remaining throes of his orgasm. Haru’s strong arms encircled the blond and gathered him to his chest as he pressed his lips to the side of Nagisa’s dripping neck.

The blond shuddered as he milked himself in the warm water, moaning and rocking into his hand as the remaining waves of intense pleasure dissipated.

With a deep breath he released his cock and leaned back, water dripping down the front of his face from his wet, disheveled hair as he stared into Haru’s face.

The two males panted heavily, each silently pausing to study the other’s eyes as they caught their breath. Nagisa wiped the water from his face with the back of a shaking hand before leaning forward to bring their lips together in a tender kiss.

The blond sighed at their detachment and dropped his head against Haru’s shoulder, completely spent and exhausted from that unexpected energy expenditure.

Haru brought his hand up and combed the graduate’s wet hair away from the side of his face as he nuzzled into his neck, warm, smiling lips pressing into the base of his throat as Nagisa began to giggle tiredly.

“I have some good news and some bad news. Which first?”

“Umm…good.” Haru answered lazily, bringing his cheek to rest on Nagisa’s head.

“I don’t think I have any other pants that would fit you.”

Haru breathed out a laugh, “Okay, then what’s the bad news?”

“Mmnn…” He yawned. “I lied. There is none.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are actually going to start happening. I swear.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you think he and I are…compatible?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day and a huge, uncharacteristically warm 'thank you' to those of you who have stuck with me to this point :D If I had any artistic talent in my body I would have drawn the fuck out of a sexy Nagisa in honor of this Valentine's Day update. But...yeah. That can't happen.
> 
> Please forgive me.
> 
> However, enjoy some Nagisa POV in this chapter!

**Nagisa**

 

_‘It hurts. This hurts. What hurts?’_

_A small ribcage expands with labored breaths—cracking, crunching beneath pale skin with the effort. Eyes are hot; blind. Sticky.  Tiny fingers tap weakly against cold wood to glean confirmation of existence—of life. Of living._

_‘I’m here. I’m still here.’_

_Sensation is muddled…there is disconnect—static. Neurons fire into empty space; there is heat. He’s choking—his lungs are tired. There’s too much…pressure._

_‘I’m here…I’m here. Where? Where is here?’_

_A hand, too limp to be his own—too liquid, too foreign—presses against his broken face...or is the hand that’s broken?...prodding, feeling. At the crunch of bone it falls away, heavy again on the freezing floor. A mirage, an image…no, a voice, is calling to him from behind thick glass._

_The voice is soft. Unintelligible. Warm. Everything is red._

_‘Why is it so warm?’_

_The hand stirs, fingers curl and snap, rough knuckles nudge feeble against the cold skin of a skinny arm; across the crook of an elbow. Crippled fingers extend…_

_‘…these…my fingers?…’_

_…again to the frigid flesh—no, it’s warm. It’s warm here. And sticky. So warm…_

_‘But it’s cold. Too cold. Then why is it so hot. It’s too hot I can’t—I can’t breathe I can’t--‘_

Pink eyes flew open. They blinked once, twice, before focusing on the familiar white wall.

 _Fuck._ Nagisa thought as his heart rate slowed.

He grumbled and wiggled his way deeper under the covers, pulling the sheet over his mouth and closing his eyes again, shielding himself from the intrusive morning light.

_Wait._

His eyes sprang open again.

He bounce-rolled to his other side and met the eyes of a very startled, _very beautiful_ , young male propped up on an elbow, whose other hand was in somewhat of a half-way retreating motion from the blond’s face.

Nagisa tucked into the blankets so only his eyes and top of his head were sticking out; he peeked into wide blue eyes from his cocoon and grinned like a crazy person, “Good morning, Haru.” He chirped, voice muffled by the comforter.

Haru finally dropped his hand, blushing darkly, “Hey. Nagisa.”

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing.” The student looked down at the sheets.

“Come oooon, Haru-chan.” Nagisa sang and wiggled beneath the blankets.

“I was…ah, I wanted to…touch your hair.”

The graduate student squeaked and pulled the covers over his head, “Haru-chaaan, you’re going to embarrass me.”

Nagisa heard Haru huff and turn over, tugging the blanket up like a child.

The blond grinned and scooted over, slapping and kicking away the impeding bedding and curling around Haru’s back beneath the sheet.

“No pouting before 8am!” He laughed before biting the back of the male’s neck.

He felt Haru shiver and inhale sharply as his teeth scraped against his skin. “Mmnn…’s …ty.”

“HMM? I can’t heaaar you!” Nagisa lilted, nipping at the student’s ear.

Whipping around, Haru seized Nagisa’s small wrists in his hands and knocked him back against the mattress. “I SAID,” He snarled before a smile curled into his cheeks, “It’s nine thirty. And fuck your rules anyway.” He dropped his face and nuzzled into the side of the graduate’s neck.

_Mmmm…yes. Fuck my—wait—_

“WHAT!? Fuck!” Nagisa’s body jerked and flipped over before he crawled his way from under an alarmed Haru; he snatched at his phone from the night stand and blanched when he activated the screen.

_Eight missed calls! Oh god I’m dead. I’m so dead._

Nagisa scrambled off the bed and ran naked to his dresser as he pressed the call button, shouldering the cell as he dug around a drawer for some underwear.

_Shit shit shit!_

The recipient picked up after the first ring. “Nagisa! Where the fuck are you!?” Levi growled. “Are you okay?”

“Yes yes I’m fine, I ow—“ He stumbled stepping into his bright green briefs, “I just over slept. I’m fine I’m fine, calm down.”

“ _You_ over slept!? What the fuck – did you shut your phone off too!?”

“Well…sort of. It was on silent. I didn’t…want to be…disturbed.” He shot the confused Haru a sly look and winked before he realized he was trying to tug his underwear on backwards. He caught the faint sound of traffic over the line and heard the professor swear under his breath, “Wait, are you in your car?”

“Yes I’m in my car! I’m on my way there to drag your mutilated corpse out of the apartment!”

“Levi! Calm down! I’m okay, really! Christ, chill the fuck out. Go back to school.”

“Levi?” Haru whispered from the bed.

Nagisa nodded and rolled his eyes as he finally pulled the briefs right-ways over his hips.

“Well excuse me for being concerned, you little shit.” Levi spat.

“Do you need me at school right now? I can be there in 20 minutes.” He rushed to the closet and snatched some dark brown jeans from a hanger.

“What!? No! I just need to know that you aren’t dead!”

“I’m not _dead_ , you drama queen. God!” Nagisa dropped the pants on the floor and stuck his hand on his hip in exasperation. “So there’s no emergency at school? You don’t need me to make any poor freshman feel bad about themselves or anything?”

“No, fuck. You’re really alright?” The angry professor’s voice softened slightly.

“Yes. I’m _very_ okay. So okay, in fact, that you barging in here unannounced would have made for a very awkward situation.” Nagisa smiled and padded towards the bed. “Awkward but potentially hilarious.” He flopped down on his stomach beside the still-puzzled student.

Levi cleared his throat. “He’s there right now?”

“Mhmmm very astute, _professor._ So when do you need me to come in?”

“Be in my office by 11.”

“Yes, _Dr. Ackerman_.” Nagisa drawled before popping up onto his elbows and beaming at the student. “Here, talk to Haru!” He shoved the phone at the wide-eyed man and fled the room, giggling maliciously as he ran towards the kitchen.

_I’m a dick. But he’ll forgive me if I make him coffee right? Right! He loves coffee! He can have all my coffee. Coffee? That gorgeous piece of sexy ass and mouth and hands and mmmmmm he can have all my everything._

Nagisa hummed to himself as he twirled around his kitchen, slamming drawers and throwing coffee grounds into the barely-used coffee maker.

 _Bless you, Levi, for your caffeine addiction._ He thought, as he couldn’t stomach the stuff himself.

He pressed the start button and dashed from the kitchen down the hall, casting a fleeting glance through his bedroom door before skidding to a halt in front of the laundry room. He threw open the door and danced into the room, plucking the once-soaked black sweat pants from the dryer and then casually sauntering back down the hall and into his bedroom with the pants slung over his shoulder.

He turned the corner right as Haru was switching on his own phone, blue eyes narrowed with something akin to mild annoyance, but don’t think for a second that the blond didn’t notice the way those eyes took half a second to run up and down his body.

Nagisa leaned against the door frame and inspected his nails in a display of mock nonchalance, “Sooo, what did you boys talk about?”

Haru just folded his arms and stared at the blond menacingly from the bed.

“Oh…are you mad at me now?” Pouty lips turned down into a frown as Nagisa scratched at a spot on the door frame.

The student just cleared his throat and turned his face away – his eyes followed after a moment and he licked his lips before clearing his throat.

“Aw…Haru…” He walked slowly towards the student, concern rising in his chest, “I’m sorry…may I atone with pants?” Holding the garment out in front of him, Nagisa’s eyes flicked down to the floor in a humble display of penitence.

 _That definitely wasn’t nice, maybe he really is ma—_ “EEP!” Nagisa shrieked as Haru wrenched the pants in his hand, pulling him closer before wrapping his fingers around his wrist and throwing him to the bed. Before he could react, Haru began smothering him with a pillow.

“What the hell, Nagisa! The fuck was that!?” The student demanded, pushing the pillow into the blond’s laughing face.

“AH! I’m sorry—MM! You’re—MMPH—killing me! I’m sorry I’m sorry!” Nagisa shrieked between breaths, squirming and rolling around the billowy bedding to escape the assault.

With a final shove, Haru relented. He smirked and bit his lip as the graduate sat up.

“What?” Nagisa giggled.

“Your hair.”

“I went to sleep with it wet!”

“Whose fault was that?”

“Yours!” Nagisa leapt at the student and pinned him to the mattress, straddling his naked waist hidden beneath the sheet.

“Mmm…Maybe I should tone it down a bit. I’ll make sure to remember that for next time.”

“NO! Please don’t! Forget it all! Forget everything I just said, for the love of god please please forget! I’m spouting nonsense! Absolute lunacy! Forget, forget!”

Haru laughed as Nagisa fell forward and planted kisses all over his chest.

“So…there’s going to be a next time?” He mumbled into the student’s skin before groaning loudly. “God, what an embarrassing cliché.” Nagisa sat up and hung his head in shame at the question. “Don’t you dare even answer that.”

The student just pulled the blond back down to his chest and pushed his lips into his hair.

“So…does Levi call you every morning?”

“Pfft—no. I’ve just never been late before.” Nagisa replied, tracing circles on Haru’s abs.

“Never?”

“Nope. Didn’t you guys have a nice little chat?”

Haru scoffed, “He said ‘took him long enough’ then hung up. How long have you guys actually known each other...if you don’t mind me asking.”’

“Um…eight years?” Nagisa counted on his fingers, “Nine? OH! Coffee! I made you coffee!” He bounced off the bed and whirled out of the room again.

 _Asking something like that, what’s wrong with me? What am I, fourteen? I’m out of control. GOD that fucking mouth of his. No boners before work but nngh. Deep breaths deep breaths, don’t think about his tongue and his lips and his fingers and…ugh. He can top...right? Oh…oh god. Please for the love of god please... Wait…does that mean Levi...bottoms?  Holy mother of god that’s…ahhh no no no nothing is confirmed yet. Levi can’t_ bottom _! So…oh no what am I going to do!? Should I ask? Right now? Run in there and just…noooo. Control, Nagisa, control. Self-control. You know what that is, right? Levi_ taking it _!? No no you don’t know anything for sure yet you psycho, calm down. Don’t picture it don’t picture it don’t picture that little fuck taking it from behind by…ahhhhh!…fuck fuck fuck, okay. Um…baseball! Wait, no! Baseball players! Arg! Okay, vaginas, tits, spiders, washing dishes, soap, water, cumming in Haru’s mouth AH! Settle down you maniac! Penis! Chill!_

Nagisa’s mind tumbled unrestrained as he poured the coffee and stared into the refrigerator for something that could maybe pass as breakfast for a normal human being, willing away an erection and pawing at his mangled bicep, half-heartedly acknowledging the soreness that throbbed in the muscle as he shivered in the refrigerated air.

He brought out the container of strawberries and threw it on the counter before running a hand over the front of his swelling crotch in an effort to correct the problem.

 _How the_ fuck _is touching it going to help the situation, you retard!? Okay okay, you got this. Just run in there and jump on him. NO! More deep breaths more deep breaths…in and out…in and out…that's right...yeah...yes...in and out...harder...God, harder...in and—AH!! Okay...composure…composure…yes that’s right. Keep thinking about those vaginas...vaginas and boobs and everything is fine._

The distressed graduate clenched and unclenched the fist of his damaged arm while staring blankly at the counter top, stretching out sore fingers before curling them back into his palm.

After their activities in the bathroom last night, Nagisa practically fell asleep wrapped in the student’s arms in the bubbling water. His legs felt like jelly and all he wanted to do was lie against Haru as he stroked his hair, listening to the soft thrum of his beating heart.

He barely remembered Haru dragging them both into the shower, though he was quite easily able to recall the feeling of strong fingers on his scalp as the student washed his hair.

_Oh well, guess we will just have to do it again sometime…_

He also struggled to remember Haru carrying him to his bed and asking if he could throw the sweatpants in dryer; some minutes later he felt strong arms encircling him and he fell into a deep, blissful sleep.

_Oh my god he’s per—_

“Are you alright?”

“AHH!” Nagisa jerked around and clutched his chest, “STOP DOING THAT!”

Haru smirked and folded his arms over his chest, looking like some kind of sexual deity back in those black sweat pants and hair a charming mess. Nagisa raked his eyes over his body and bit his lip before emitting a quiet whine and spinning back around to the counter, occupying himself with stretching up on his toes to find a bowl in the cabinet.

_Deep breaths…slow…deep…breaths._

“Don’t you have class today?” Nagisa asked calmly, his heart racing.

“Yeah,” Haru yawned, “Not until noon.”

_I want your dick._

The blond nodded and pretended to be searching for something amidst the bowls, giving his half-erection a chance to diminish, “Sorry I don’t really have any breakfast foods. I can throw some strawberries in a bowl if you want…” He tapered off when he felt Haru’s hands running up the sides of his bare torso.

“Coffee is fine.” The student mumbled into messy blond hair.

“Mmnnn…okay.” Nagisa’s mind blanked as he leaned back into Haru’s bare chest while teasing fingers found their way down to the waistband of his underwear.

The glittering of morning sunshine streamed in from the window above the sink, illuminating the duo as Haru’s hands wandered softly along the graduate’s pale skin, running up his back to his shoulders and slipping back down his arms, one stilling at the scar before a gentle finger began to hesitantly trace over the shiny, pinkish skin.

Nagisa jolted.

_Oh give me a fucking break._

He stepped away from the light touches and spun around playfully, “Your breakfast then, my lord.” He bowed theatrically and presented Haru with his cup.

“My word – I am indecent!” Nagisa cried, throwing his arms against his chest with artificial shock and modestly, “Please excuse me!”

He heard Haru groan with dissatisfaction as he fled the kitchen. 

“I think there is cream in the fridge.” He called from the hallway before ducking into his bedroom.

Pink eyes crinkled with joy and his hands flew to his mouth to cover his grin as he spotted his little stuffed penguin propped up against the headboard among the pillows, with the grey shirt from last night tied around its body like a cape.

_Holy shit he made my bed and that’s the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever seen in my life am I in love? Yeah. I’m in love._

Feet thumped quietly against the carpet as Nagisa ran and jumped onto the bed before gathering the animal into his arms and pressing his face into the shirt, inhaling their mingled scent deeply and sighing with pleasure.

After pressing his lips to the top of the penguin’s head with a giggle, he lovingly placed it back into its rightful place and rolled off the bed.

Stepping to the closet and throwing open the door, he pulled on a light blue t-shirt before running his fingers over the torn skin once more with a grimace. He rotated his wrist and snapped his forearm down, cracking his elbow with a loud, crunching pop.

_Hurtssss… stupid sexy boy and his stupid mind blowing blowjob goddammit, making me hold on to shit for dear life, who do you think you are with your tongue and throat, how dare you! Where do you get off getting me off like that? Huh? Don’t you know I’m practically crippled!? Mmmm…’kay, not really. And no, how could you know that? Sorry. Sorry, my beautiful dick sucking prince, why would you know that?_

After retrieving his abandoned brown jeans from the floor and slipping on his yellow cardigan, Nagisa approached the mirror with a smile, pulling down his collar to again admire the bruises on his neck. He hummed with contentment and smoothed down his wild hair before walking over to his dresser to retrieve a small orange prescription bottle, popping it open, cracking a white pill in half and tossing part of it in his mouth to swallow dry.

“Bleeggh.”

He rubbed at his sore arm one last time before blowing a kiss to his stuffed animal and leaving the room to join Haru in the bathroom to brush their teeth side by side.

* * *

 

“Nagisa, what the fuck are you doing?”

“Let me swoon in peace.” The graduate said melodramatically, lying on his back across Levi’s desk with an arm thrown over his eyes.

“Well swoon elsewhere. I have work to do.”

“Hah—no you don’t. _I_ have your work to do.” Nagisa laughed as he turned over onto his stomach, resting his head on his arms and staring sideways at the surly professor, “That’s literally my job description, right?”

Levi sat down in his desk chair and sipped his coffee, glaring at the body flopped in front of him, “Then go do my work. Just get off my desk. Please. I don’t know where you’ve been.”

“I’m clean!”

A scoff was his only reply.

“Uggghhh. Leviiiii.” He moaned before grinning impishly. “Can I ask you something?”

“No.”

“But it’s really important!”

“No.”

“So, when you and Haru…” The blond pushed himself into a sitting position and dangled his legs off the desk, “Um…hmm…how do I ask this…”

Levi just quirked an eyebrow as he disinterestedly glanced over some document in his hand, sipping his coffee again.

“Do you think he and I are… _compatible_?”

“I’m not a goddamn horoscope.”

“I mean sexually.”

The professor dropped the document and squinted at his doe-eyed teaching assistant, “The fuck are you asking me for.”

“Don’t play dumb, it’s very unbecoming.”

“You don’t have the answer to that question after spending the night with him?”

“We didn’t fuck!” The blond threw his arms up in exasperation. “I’m not some slut like you, _professor_. We just had our first date yesterday!”

“And _nothing_ happened.”

“Of course things happened! Lots of _things_ happened!" Nagisa gestured wildly with his hands, "Can you please just answer my question.”

“I don’t understand your question.”

“LEVI! Ugh!”

“Please get out of my office.”

“So when you guys would do your thing, who would you say was the—“

“Out. Now.”

“Just please answer me! I’m dying here! I...you know how attracted to him I am...and I think I really...” He sighed, "I just want it to be good. And you know I've never..."

Levi put his face in his hand and leaned onto the desk, picking up another paper, “Yes, I believe you two would be _compatible_.”

Nagisa jumped up and clapped his hands together excitedly. “So that means! Oh my GOD! You--“

“ **LEAVE.** ”

“Hah - nah, I’ve got a ton of work to do.” Nagisa laughed and dismissed the annoyed professor with a wave and strolled over to his own desk. “I don’t need my boss riding my ass…oh wait, apparently he doesn—“

Nagisa flinched when a crumpled piece of paper hit him in the side of the face.  “You’re so good to me, professor.” He chirped sweetly, plopping down into his chair, “Holy shit, so sweet little innocent Eren is a top?”

“No.”

“No to which part?”

“Shut it.”

“Oh…OH! Levi! You sly, versatile fuck!” Nagisa kicked off the floor, spinning rowdily around in his chair.

“Oh my god, you’re fired. Get the fuck out.”

“My entire world is crumbling down around me! Be still my heart! Levi, you strumpet! You salacious harlot! You wretched fiend! Oh, how will I ever regard you with the same unyielding reverence of days past! Such vile treachery! You toffer! You—"

“You see my door is open, right?”

“—whore.” Sneakered feet slammed onto the ground and the graduate came to a stop. “Really though. My mind is, like, completely blown.”

“I think there’s a slight flaw in your logic.” Levi mumbled, pulling folders from a desk drawer as Nagisa mimed a gun splattering his brain on the wall behind him before flopping over lifelessly in his chair.

“Hold the phone! What!” He threw his body forward off the chair to drop onto his knees and lifted his balled fists excitedly.

“Mmm…leave me alone, I’m busy.”

"But..."

"Nope. That's enough for today. Maybe if you were here on time I would be in a more conversational mood."

“Ugh, such a tease.” The graduate pouted and sat back down in defeat. He rifled through the papers on his desk, imagining the possibility of Haru actually being a… _what’s that even called? Switcher? Flipper? Ahh Hah—like the dolphin. That’s stupid._ _But…god that’s hot. Oh god…_

Nagisa cleared his throat loudly and squirmed around in his chair. He whined and chewed on the inside of his cheek and grabbed for a stack of papers he had yet to grade, groaning when he realized they were essays from Levi’s Psych 101 class.

He spent what felt like hours struggling to keep his mind from wandering to memories of last night, and to fantasies of what could be as he haphazardly scrawled vague words of encouragement and thinly-veiled derision on students’ papers. Levi even had to throw another wad of paper his way after he spent a few minutes staring blankly out the window, gnawing and sucking on his pen.

“Ugh, this is exhausting. I’m getting food.” The blond stated, shooting up out of his chair.

“Yeah, fellating your pen sure seems tiring.” Levi muttered, not looking up from his own work.

“You want anything from the vending machine?”

“No thanks.” The professor rubbed his eyes. “I’ve got a class in…7 minutes.”

“Mmkay.”

“Oh hey, get back here a minute.” Levi called as the graduate began to make his way down the hall.

“Whaaaaaaat?” He whined, swinging back around the doorway. “I need to get some Skittles in me.”

“The SANS Conference registration packets came in,” The professor slid open a drawer to retrieve a large white envelope, “Did you want to present this year?”

Magenta eyes lit bright with excitement. “YEAH! Gimmie gimmie gimmie!” Nagisa rushed the professor, grabby little hands outstretched.

Levi sighed as the packet was snatched rudely from his fingers; bits of white paper fluttered to the ground while Nagisa tore into the paper before carelessly abandoning the shredded envelope on the ground.

“Yesss…are you going?” The blond asked distractedly, thumbing through the pages of the registration form.

“Unfortunately,” The man grumbled, “It’s my turn to drag the shitty undergraduates along on a field trip.”

“Oh settle down, Levi. You’re such a grouch. You love everything about that shit and you know it.” Nagisa mumbled as he read, “Ooo! We get to stay at a Hilton this year! _C’est très magnifique_!”

The professor sighed again as he scooped up the torn envelope and deposited it in the garbage before standing and removing a folder from his filing cabinet and pulling out the contents.

“Here, hang these fliers up. But be strategic about it – I don’t want to have to haul a van full of bratty teenagers to some hotel three hours away.”

“Pfft—yeah okay Levi.” Nagisa snorted as he took the fliers. “We all know how much you _hate_ teenagers.” He lilted and blew a kiss before stepping back into the hall.

Nagisa buried his face in the registration packet as he meandered slowly down the hall with the fliers tucked under his arm, mumbling to himself and mulling over his options for presentation material and wondering if he could somehow write up a brand new proposal and abstract for the registration deadline a month away – until he turned the corner and barreled into a human brick wall.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” The wall cried as Nagisa stumbled, falling backwards and catching himself on his hands as his fliers fluttered to the ground.

“Ow!—no no, it’s my fault!” He answered, wincing and rolling his shoulder before moving to collect his papers. “I shouldn’t be reading and—“

“Oh Nagisa!” Makoto laughed as he bent down to help the graduate retrieve the fliers, “Now I’m _really_ sorry!”

The blond’s face lit up as he raised his head and met the undergrad’s kind green eyes, “Makoto! What are you doing in this part of the building? Besides roughing up poor little helpless TAs, that is.” Nagisa stuck his bottom lip out in a pout.

“Hah—ah, sorry about that,” The student said with a deep blush. “I’m applying for an assistantship.” He explained, jogging a stack of the fallen papers on the tile floor, “What are these?”

“SANS Conference info! Social and Affective Neuroscience. I was just about to hang these…’strategically’ as Levi put it…so I guess I’m meant to hang them behind doors and inside garbage cans. He _says_ he doesn’t want to drag a bunch of teenagers to a two-day conference.”

“Hah! Yeah okay, sure he doesn’t.” Makoto chuckled as he scanned the flier before clearing his throat and looking up with worried eyes, “I mean…uh…that’s…I don’t—“

“I said the exact same thing.” Nagisa said with a wink, “Wanna go? I don’t think you qualify as a teenager.”

The student stood before reaching down and helping the blond to his feet and handing him the papers, “When is it?”

“First weekend of February. You can just text me…” Nagisa dug around in his pocket and extracted a pen before grabbing Makoto’s arm and jotting down the number on the back of his hand. “…if you want to go and I’ll sign you up.”

“Um…sure.” Makoto blushed again, examining the number tattooed on his skin, “Does Haru know about this?”

“About me giving you my number? I won’t tell if you won’t.” The blond leaned forward and finished with a stage whisper.

“Ah, um—what!—no! I mean—“ Makoto took a startled step backwards before he saw the graduate put a hand over his mouth to hide his sly grin, “…yeah…you’re funny.”

“But, ah!” The graduate squealed and balled his fists excitedly, crinkling the fliers. “Would he go!?”

“To a neuroscience conference? With you? Yeah, I think he might be interested in that.” Makoto laughed awkwardly.

Nagisa hummed and chewed his bottom lip, looking past the student as he imagined the possibilities.

_Hotel rooms, past lovers, hot roommates. This is too much! I might die of…_

“Are you alright?”

“Hm?” Nagisa looked back at Makoto with a smile. “Yeah, I’m fine, why?”

“You…your arm. Did I hurt you?”

“What?” The graduate looked down at where he had been distractedly kneading the flesh above his elbow, “Oh! Um, no. Maybe. No. You didn’t hurt me. I’m fine.” He answered, dropping his arm quickly, “I should go hang these and get back to grading papers!”

“Right. Sorry again for crashing into you…but it was nice seeing you.”

“It was a pleasure being tackled by you, Makoto. I very much look forward to the next time,” Nagisa smirked as the male turned a deep pink, “Oh hey, take one of these and give it to Haru.” He folded a flier in half and handed it to the student before grabbing his thick bicep and leaning up on his toes to whisper in his ear, “Maybe the three of us can…room together.” He ended with a teasing purr which segued into a light giggle.

Nagisa pulled back and realized that Makoto was standing frozen, his green eyes opened wide with…fear?

“Oh my god, Makoto. I’m kidding. Relax.” He shoved playfully at his shoulder, “Although…” He stepped back and regarded the nervous male with a serious look, “Haru _did_ mention something about…hmm…something last summer? His birthd—“

“G-gotta go! Bye, Nagisa!”

If Makoto wasn’t bright red before, he certainly was now. He punctuated his stammered goodbye with an uncomfortable shifting of his backpack before walking away just a little too quickly.

_Undergrads are fun. Can this day get any better?_

His phone vibrated against his thigh and he plucked it out of his pocket as he watched Makoto turn a corner.

1:26pm RIN-CHAN: PLEASE HELP ME I THINK I’M DYING WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO PLZ HELP

_Yes. Yes it can._

* * *

 

**Haru**

 

Haru rubbed his eyes as he stepped out of the lecture hall, lamenting the number of class days he still had left until exam week.

 _Four…I can make it. Why_ did _I take a class called ‘Marriage and Family’?_

Moving out of the crowd of students streaming from the door, he leaned against the wall and dug his buzzing phone out of his pocket.

1:37pm <3<3~~~NAGISA~~~<3<3: I think I broke Makoto.

A wide smile pushed into his cheeks as he typed a response.

1:37pm HARU: Kisumi will be devastated. What did you do, you creep?   

“Haru! Hey.”

The deep voice pulled his attention away from his phone. “Oh, hey Makoto.” He said with a yawn, “I was just talking about you.”

“Um. What?” Green eyes shifted around as Haru stuck his phone back into his pocket.

“Nothing. Food?”

* * *

 

“So…your boyfriend is something else.” Makoto chuckled as he distractedly poked around his salad with a plastic fork.

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Fuck buddy?”

Haru glared as he coated his french-fries with an overly-aggressive squeeze of ketchup.

“You’re gonna get fat if you keep eating like that.”

“What, worried I won't be pretty enough for you anymore?”

Makoto choked on nothing and grabbed for his drink, “Your date must have gone well.” He said, recovering.

A light blush spread over the student’s cheeks but he kept his face passive, shoving a fry into his mouth and chewing with his eyes trained on the corner of their table.

“I can see that, you know.”

“You can' thee anythin.” A mouth full of fry replied.

“Well?”

“Well what?”

“Are you going to tell me about it or not?”

“Since when do you want to know how my dates go?”

“Since when do you go on _dates_?”

Haru sighed and leaned back in his chair as he scanned the busy cafeteria, wondering why he was feeling so particularly evasive, “It was…nice.” He finished with an uncomfortable clear of his throat.

“’Nice’? Like how grandmothers are ‘nice’? How elevator music is ‘nice’? 'Nice' kept you there all night? Why do I have such a hard time believing that?”

The student rubbed his face with his hands and leaned onto the table with his palm over his mouth, hiding his smile as he rolled his eyes sideways to look at his friend, “Like you said, he’s something else.”

“Better, though still disappointing.” Makoto stabbed at his lettuce, “Details?”

Dark brows quirked in surprise, “Are you asking what we did?”

Makoto nodded with his fork in his mouth.

“God, when did you become such a girl. Um…we went to dinner. Then went back to his place…we..., well, we barely made it into the living room before we—“

“Mm! Mmhnnh!” Makoto frantically waved his hands in front of his face as he chewed, “Never mind,” He said after swallowing, “I’ve reconsidered. Please don’t give me actual details. Just…did you guys…?”

“No.”

Makoto leaned his chin in his hand, “But you spent the night.”

“I did.”

“Interesting…so are you guys…like…”

“What? Dating?”

“Yeah.”

"Who even knows what that means these days.“

Makoto rolled his eyes.

“What about you?” Haru snapped, “ _Are you and Kisumi…like_ …?” He said, imitating his friend’s deep, questioning tone.

“That’s a good question.” Makoto laughed.

It was Haru’s turn to roll his eyes.

“I think our situation is a little different from yours, though.”

“What does that mean?”

“Well…” Makoto chewed on his straw in thought, “For one thing, he and I have known each other for a lot longer. I don’t think either of us are sure how to make the transition from friends to…other things.”

“From what I hear from my bedroom you’ve _transitioned_ just fine. So what, is he like, living with us now?”

Makoto ignored that, “Also, Nagisa seems more…”

“…more?”

“Just more…um…mature?”

“Huh?”

"Experienced?"

"Are you calling him slutty?" Blue eyes narrowed.

“No! Just more...something. Oh! I ran into him and he gave me this.” He dug into his pocket and extracted the folded flier.

“I see he gave you his number too.” Haru eyed his friend’s marked hand with a smirk has he plucked the paper from his fingers.

Makoto pulled his hand back like he touched fire, “It’s for that!” He yelped defensively, pointing at the flier as Haru unfolded it.

“Geeze, settle down. I didn’t mean anything by it. What’s with you?”

“Yeah…” Makoto rubbed at the ink, “I know. Damn, you can recognize his number on sight already?”

“No. Maybe. What? Why wouldn’t I?” Haru mumbled as he scanned the flier, his blue eyes shining as he read, “A neuroscience conference?”

“ _Social_ neuroscience conference. He wants us to go. I guess the school is paying for the hotel and everything.”

“Hotel?” Haru bit his lip as he flicked his eyes up.

“Yeah…” Makoto shifted in his seat nervously, “You want to go?”

Haru frowned, “Who else is going?”

“Not…sure. He was just hanging these when I saw him…so all I know for sure is him and…uhh…”

“And…?”

“Hm?” Makoto blinked, “Oh, nothing. Just…he’s going. I forget what else he said. Maybe other grad students. I don’t know.” He sipped at his drink nonchalantly, “I’ll be right back.”

Blue eyes watched with confusion as Makoto pulled out his phone and dashed out the cafeteria doors.

_What a fucking weirdo._

He lifted the flier again and scanned the info.

_February..._

A mild, vague anxiety crawled in his stomach as he chewed on his cheek and considered the date.

_What if…_

He shook his head, scattering unpleasant thoughts of the possibilities coupled with committing to something two months away and folding the paper before shoving it into his pocket.

Absently munching on his french-fries as he awaited his friend’s return, he was allowed the opportunity to recall the morning’s events.

A slow exhale left him as he chewed on his bottom lip, tasting the memory of how only hours prior Nagisa had done exactly that after roughly shoving him down onto the couch.

Teasing nipping and kissing quickly turned into a full-blown make out session and escalated to the point where Haru was forced to reluctantly remind Nagisa that he still had to drive him home, and then again when they were in the parking lot, and then yet again when they were actually driving.

“I’m not letting you leave.” The blond had growled as he crawled into the student’s lap when they were parked on the street outside of his apartment; he claimed Haru’s lips and covertly reached down to pop the seat lever, planting his hands firmly onto Haru’s shoulders as he flew backwards.

“I’m not…letting you…go…until...you tell me when…I can see you…again.” The graduate whispered between heated kisses.

“Hah—fuck, I’m not working Saturday…mm…can you wait that long?”

“No,” Nagisa leaned down and murmured into Haru’s ear, tracing a finger beneath his chin, “But I’ll make sure to tell you all about it.”

Haru barely made it into the apartment before he had to tend to…urgent matters.

He was just very relieved that Makoto had left for school already.

Speaking of Makoto—

“You look happy.” He said as he returned to his seat. “So are we going to this thing or what?”

“Where did you go?”

“Um…bathroom?”

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“I know…” Makoto grumbled, rubbing the back of his neck, “Well?”

“Yeah. We’re going.”

* * *

**Nagisa**

 

2:21pm Unknown: Are we telling Haru that Levi is driving everyone to the conference?

 

Nagisa grinned and quickly added Makoto to his contact list before happily typing his response.

 

2:21pm NAGISA: Nah, lets surprise him ;)

2:22pm MAKO-CHAN: You’re awful

2:22pm NAGISA: Am I though, Makoto?

2:23pm MAKO-CHAN: Yes.

Nagisa snickered before bringing the phone back up to his ear and kicking his feet up onto his desk, “Sorry, Rin. So yeah, anyway, like I was saying…your first time, with that guy…is probably going to hurt.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, for those of you psych people who read my garbage, I make reference to the Social and Affective Neuroscience Conference...but as a person so completely removed from the social side of psychology, I really have no idea if that would be something that Nagisa would present at (help? anyone?), but I needed a way to get the boys into some hotel shenanigans so I said fuck it! Let's play make believe!
> 
> \-------------------  
> EDIT: Okay, pardon me while I vomit this confession all over the place, but I **HATE** this chapter. It is absolutely, inexcusably awful and I'm embarrassed for having posted it. I might rewrite it when I'm able to look at it again, but for now I'm just going to wallow in self-disgust. Maybe it's the lack of sex, maybe it's the bad exposition and forced dialog, maybe it's the fact that it's so fucking boring and nothing actually happens in it just BAAAHHHH. 
> 
> Ugh. 
> 
> I'm sorry.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> __  
> 
> 
> "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you like the thought of me getting fucked by someone else."

Pacing.

He was fucking pacing.

It wasn’t the first time Haru caught himself doing it that evening, but apparently the first bout of angsty textbook reading didn’t take as a sufficient distraction, so he was up milling around the kitchen again trying not to wring his hands like a goddamn nervous housewife.

He checked the fridge for the tenth time to make sure he remembered to chill the wine, then panicked for a few seconds when he realized that it might not be one of those wines you’re supposed to drink cold.

 _Strawberry Festival…_ He blinked at the frilly label, _Looks like Kool Aid. The fuck, I thought wine came with instructions._  

Shoving the shockingly red bottle back into the refrigerator with a scowl, he shook his head in exasperation.

_Like he’s going to give a shit anyway if it’s the right temperature or not. Get a hold of yourself._

Tripping between states of placid rationality and unwarranted neurosis, he went to work cleaning some imaginary food debris off the counters just as a precautionary measure, and glanced at the pizza he made from scratch earlier in the day to make sure he hadn’t forgotten anything. Like…the crust or something.

He mentally rolled his eyes at himself as he reached to pre-heat the oven so that he could slide their dinner in the moment Nagisa arrived.

Despite the heightened anxiety that was rattling him all fucking day over having invited the graduate to his apartment that evening, Haru didn’t bother stressing over the fact that he would be eating his cooking for the first time. He was more than confident in his abilities; Makoto and Rin often relied on him to make meals for them throughout the years, and it’s easy to tell when people enjoy what they’re eating, whether they say so or not. But they did.

Often. 

_And seriously, who doesn’t like pizza?_

Then again, maybe it was his backup plan that set his mind at ease; and _that_ , he knew, he wouldn’t have to check again. It was perfect.

…right?

_Ugh._

It was 7:46 and Nagisa was due to arrive at 8, which gave him the time to do a few more laps around the living room, wander into his bedroom for no reason at all, and flip blindly through one of Makoto’s _Game Informer_ magazines while staring at the wall clock with just enough cognitive resources available to belittle himself for being such a frazzled mess.

_Shouldn’t I be past this point already?_

It was as if last week had never happened; like they hadn’t already had their first date and their first kiss, like Nagisa hadn’t almost drowned during a blowjob, or like they hadn’t spent the night together and enjoyed a sexy, giggly morning after.

Haru swallowed and shook his head at the memories as a familiar heat began to prickle his skin, the image of Nagisa on his knees with Haru’s dick between full lips was one he couldn’t prevent from floating up in his mind every passing second of every goddamn day since Monday.

The week had crawled by at an agonizing pace in anticipation of tonight, and they barely spoke to each other, what with all of the end-of-semester bullshit going on, save for the phone call on Wednesday night when Nagisa got fed up with his research and “needed Haru’s voice” to help him…unwind – allowing Haru the welcomed opportunity to shove his own study materials off his bed with eagerness and “unwind” a bit himself.

He squirmed on the couch and slid his eyes to the clock again.

He dumped the magazine off his lap and snatched his cellphone off the coffee table to scroll through his contact list, hoping to find an excuse to text _someone_ about _something_ …fucking _anything_ to get his mind off of this godawful waiting.

His finger hovered over Makoto’s number, but he sighed and switched off the screen. His roommate was working, plus he and Kisumi were staying at his place that night and he really didn’t have anything relevant to say.

_“I think my skin is vibrating off my bones and I need some help not thinking about blow jobs. How’s work?”_

He bounced his leg as he gnawed on his lower lip while staring blankly at nothing in particular in front of him.

Texting Rin would just welcome some night-long harassment, which was the last thing that would settle his nerves.

_He’s probably choking on that guy’s cock by now anyway._

Oh how he would have loved to chant the commonplace “ _what on earth is wrong with me!?_ ” lamentation; it would have made for a nice distraction. Fretting over his sanity might have killed a few minutes, but he knew damn well that was “wrong” with him, and no amount of head shaking or jaw clenching was going to change the fact that he was anxious about having Nagisa over because he knew…he knew there were _reasons_ to be nervous about having him in his apartment alone, especially after last week’s activities.

Haru closed his eyes and allowed himself to feel the anxiety, to try to appreciate the rush of adrenaline that squirmed in his core like snakes, the flashes of icy currents running down the insides of his arms to ignite his fingertips as he curled them into his palms. He inhaled deeply and grit his teeth together to swallow the arid thickness that coated his tongue, listening closely to the sound of his throat as it worked to push down the rising ache forming in his chest. The rush of blood in his ears carried a high-pitched tonal quality reminiscent of the humid buzz that swells in the air prior to a lightning strike, and the oxygen he pulled in through his nose was cool and thick, dragging heavy through his body to magnify the sonorous rhythm of his riotous heart.

_So this is what it’s like to like someone._

Blue eyes snapped open.

 _I’m going to throw up_.

He bolted off the couch and dashed to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him and leaning back against it, thunking the back of his head too hard on the wood.

_You’re okay. You’re okay. You’re not going to throw up. It’s okay. It’s okay._

It wasn’t okay.

He slid dramatically to the floor and his dropped his face into his sweaty hands.

He knew logically it was absolutely ridiculous to be this nervous, but he was also educated well enough to understand why his body wasn’t cooperating.  Because actually, no, it was _completely_ justified to be this nervous. And it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair at all that he was the one all riled up about everything all the time when Nagisa was always so collected and confident – “pushy” as Haru once said, but now he realized that the graduate was just a self-assured little shit who likely never had a reason to feel meek or uncertain ever in his entire life. He was beautiful and articulate and obnoxiously carefree. 

It was one of the things he had noticed immediately about Nagisa: this strange ability of his to seem relaxed and comfortable in any environment. Haru really hadn’t observed any detectable differences in how he behaved inside his own home versus how he acted everywhere else, and _that_ is what made the student want to scream.

Nagisa was going to be in _his_ apartment all charming cuteness and poised sanguinity, whereas Haru would be spending the better part of the evening battling his nerves, desperately trying to quell the mayhem roiling inside his fluttering stomach.

 _But he likes you_ , Haru reminded himself, _He likes you._

His stomach tied up in knots.

 _And I like him_. _Way…_ way _…too much. I want to smush his cute fucking face._  

With a nervous lick of dry lips Haru stood shakily and turned towards the sink before flicking on the tap to splash water on his face. He blinked the drops from his eyes and glared at himself in the mirror.

_This is so stupid._

He stared irritatedly at his reflection and began to fuss with his now damp hair. With a swipe of his fingers he combed his bangs off his forehead to the left, then to the right, then growled and shook his head like he was erasing an Etch-a-Sketch and his hair flopped back into its normal place. 

With a sigh, he stepped back from the sink and inspected his appearance as a whole as much as he could in the small bathroom mirror.

He had eventually decided on a black v-neck sweater and a light blue button-down underneath—though it definitely wasn’t because Rin had once told him that it “brought out his eyes”.

_What a fucking asshole. Who says shit like that?_

The jeans he wore were his favorite; dark blue and fit well, resting just below the apex of his hipbones and…made his ass look good, he was once told.

By Rin.

_God he’s gay._

Whatever, you can’t go wrong with dark blue jeans, right?

Oh fuck. Could you?

Huffing out his frustrations in a forceful exhale, he wrenched open the door and sulked out of the room to resume his restless couch sitting, chewing on the inside of his mouth and mad at himself for all sorts of stupid reasons and sort of maybe wishing he were dead because at least then he wouldn’t have to be _FUCKING WAITING_.

7:53.

He wondered if it would be possible for him to stroke out and die in seven minutes. Aneurisms were quick, right? But then he didn’t really like the thought of Nagisa finding his cold dead body…but maybe if he locked the door…

_Haruka Nanase: Dead at 21. Cause of death: Anticipation._

As he fidgeted with the seam of his jeans, a frightening thought crept up:

_What if he’s late?_

An audible whine squeaked in his throat, but then his mind snapped back to the panicked phone call Nagisa received from Levi in the beginning of the week.

_“I’ve just never been late before.”_

Okay, so...lateness probably wasn’t anything to worry about…but, there definitely _was_ something to worry about, and it definitely concerned that phone call in particular…but Haru just couldn’t pinpoint it.

He had tried desperately not to overthink it – to not let his imagination get the better of him – but there was something undeniably _weird_ about the relationship Nagisa shared with the professor. He didn’t want to pry, because it really wasn’t his business. He didn’t even know what questions he could muster to ebb his curiosity.

They had apparently known each other for close to a decade, but something in the way Nagisa spoke to Levi made Haru think that they weren’t just casually acquainted; yeah, Nagisa was his employee, so maybe…no! That actually made the conversation he overheard all the more difficult to understand!

_Who the fuck speaks to their boss like that?_

Alright, he was definitely overthinking it. Nagisa already proved himself to be the overly familiar type, though his experience with the graduate was likely biased if he was meant to believe that he had harbored a secret crush on him for months.

So then what? What was it? What was that twinge of discomfort he felt when he tried to piece together their affiliation? It wasn’t jealousy…well, maybe it was just a little, but there was something else. Something that tugged at his stomach like an early manifestation of dread.

Levi always seemed tense, sure, but to call a grown man in such a state of panic didn’t seem even remotely characteristic of—

_Hold up._

Yeah, thinking about a guy he used to fuck, in any capacity, was _way_ at the top of the ‘things-not-to-do’ list while he sat there waiting for a guy he—

The sudden knock at the door made his heart lurch and stomach drop to the floor.

The thoughts: _fuck he’s early_ and _thank fucking god_ clashed simultaneously in the utter wreckage of his scrambled brain, causing both a cold sweat and a flush of suspense to ignite his live-wire skin.

He rose slowly on trembling legs, clenching his fists and letting out a long slow breath before doing one last visual sweep of the spotless living room, save for the magazine he threw on the ground, which he retrieved and slapped on the coffee table before nudging it casually askew, and tried to make his legs bend correctly at the knees as he staggered into the kitchen.

He kept his gaze on the floor as he stepped into the foyer, his heart thumping heavy in his throat as he reached for the doorknob with shaking hands and yanked it open just a little too quickly and then—

“It’s…snowing?” He said stupidly.

  “’ey ‘aru.” Nagisa chirped the best he could with his red lips around the stick of a sucker. He pulled it from his mouth with a pop and licked his lips, “Yeah, it just started. Pretty isn’t it?”

Haru blinked away from the blooms of white falling gently in the night air – the first snow of the season – and turned his attention to a smiling, rosy cheeked Nagisa with a few large flakes settled into his fluffy blond hair beneath the warm glow of the streetlights.

“Yep.” He choked. 

“Mmm?” Nagisa beamed and offered the bright red sucker with a mittened hand.

Haru remained silent and shook his head and instead reached for Nagisa himself and urged him forward with a tug to his collar, both getting him partially out of the cold and bringing him close enough to slip his hand to the back of his head and pull him into a gentle kiss.

Nagisa sighed happily against Haru’s mouth and looped his arms around the student’s neck, careful not to get candy in his hair, of course, and raised up on his toes to deepen the kiss.

Haru felt himself melt as Nagisa pressed himself against his chest, his sugary tongue teasing along Haru’s lower lip before nipping teeth took over briefly, his face radiating winter cold in stark contrast to his fiery lips as they moved over his own. 

With another sigh, Nagisa separated and gently knocked his forehead against the other’s, “Hey,” He whispered, a teasing-yet-kind smile audible on his lips, “You’re shaking.”

“I’m cold.” The student replied, pulling back and turning his head to both hide his blush and usher the graduate inside as his stomach churned.

Haru covertly licked his lips as he turned to shut the door, his heart fluttering at the sweet blend of flavors lingering on his tongue. It had been less than a week since they had last kissed but Haru felt like it had been years; the tingle of warmth from their brief connection spread across his face and he almost had to physically restrain himself from running his fingers over his lips.

“Better?”

“What!?” He asked, startled, eyes wide as he spun and was immediately backed against the closed door.

“Not—“ Nagisa pressed a hand to Haru’s shoulder and leaned up to kiss him again lightly, “—cold anymore?”

“I lied.” Haru mumbled against full lips and relaxed slightly before pulling the graduate against him, pressing their lips together harder this time and eliciting a cheep of surprise from the blond.

Nagisa laughed softly when he pulled back and placed a final peck to Haru’s cheek, redder-than-normal lips pulling into a wide smile as he held the sucker out to the student, “Hold please?”

Long fingers plucked the candy from Nagisa’s hand and Haru immediately stuffed it into his own mouth as the graduate unzipped his parka and turned to place it on the coat rack before unwinding his scarf.

“My my, Haru. You look very nice.” Nagisa continued to grin as he turned back around, “Very…collegiate.”

“Mn?” Haru looked down at himself, eyebrows knit in confusion as he pulled the sucker from his mouth, “I um…” He met Nagisa’s eyes before he allowed his own to travel down the blond’s body, taking in the sight of the man whose hands were clasped behind his back as he rocked forward and back on his heels.

He swallowed, hard. How was he ever going to relax when he had to look at _that_?

Nagisa wore a loose, pink, boat neck t-shirt that displayed his collar bones in their entirety and a large portion of his fair shoulders, the hem of the shirt came to a rest right at the top of a black belt at his narrow hips. His cardigan – grey and slightly baggy, sleeves just a little too long – hung unbuttoned from one of his shoulders, exposing a capped sleeve of his shirt and the pale skin of his upper arm. His jeans were black and tight, and, of course, he was wearing those fucking black boots.

“And you look…like…you.” Haru turned his face away again, shielding his eyes from the devastating sexiness and hiding his deepening blush.

“Oh…and is that…good?” Nagisa’s smile faltered momentarily as he brought his hands to the front, fidgeting nervously with his sleeve as he dropped his eyes to examine himself.

 _Oh god, I’m a dick._ “Fuck…uh, yes.” He faced front again and rubbed his palm down his face in distress, “Always. Um, you’re always…you always look good. Nice. Really…se—nice. Uh…you…“ But Haru’s shoulders suddenly dropped when he saw the graduate hide a smirk behind his hands, “You’re an asshole.” He mumbled before breaking into a shaky smile himself.

“I missed you too, Haru.” The graduate laughed and embraced the student again, resting his head on his shoulder and tightening his arms around his waist.

As they stood hugging in the foyer, Haru actually did begin to loosen up at the familiar feeling of Nagisa’s arms around him; his _mind_ started to relax, anyway. His body was about to be an entirely different story as he felt the graduate’s hands sneak around to the front and fingers begin to tease under the hem of his sweater.

He cleared his throat and detached from the other, popping the sucker back into his mouth while Nagisa made an annoyed ‘tsk’ing sound and sat down to unzip his boots.

“Cherry?” Haru asked, pulling the candy from his lips again.

“Yeah,” Nagisa frowned, “Ran out of strawberry.”

Haru’s face lit up, “I can help with that. Come on.”

Nagisa hopped up off the floor with an excited clap and then a scoff, “Uh, ‘scuse!?”

“Hm?” Haru turned back around, stick hanging from his mouth, “Wha’?”

The graduate stuck his arm out, palm up.

The remaining tension in his body abated slightly further at the childish way Nagisa’s brows furrowed and lips pulled to a pout; he exhaled an earnest laugh.

“Nope. This is mine.”

“Rude!” Nagisa stomped his foot, “Thief!”

“Relax, I have something much better. More…adult.” He led the way to the fridge followed by a petulant little boy.”

“Adult, huh? Like, back-room-at-the-video-store, x-rated? Or penis shaped perhaps?” Nagisa teased, his offended expression devolving into one of wiliness, biting his lip and waggling his eyebrows as he entered the kitchen and leaned against the counter with his arms crossed, watching Haru as he jerked open the fridge.

“You’re such a perv—“

“OH MY GOD!”

“AH CHRIST—What! What!?” Haru whipped around, slamming the refrigerator with a loud rattle and dropping the sucker to the floor as pure terror flashed beneath his skin and his spine went ridged.

His startled gaze fell on the graduate, pink eyes wide and mouth slightly open as his face was turned towards Haru, the cardigan drooping off of a fair shoulder as a slender arm remained outstretched, pointing at the pizza in emphatic accusation.

“What’s wrong!? What!?”

“YOU MADE PIZZA!”

“Why are you yelling!” Haru took a step backwards into the refrigerator, his face flushed with alarm.

Without another word, Nagisa dropped his arm and padded the few feet across the kitchen with a look of determination and took the confused student’s hands in his.

“Haru,” He paused, his eyes wide and entirely serious as he clutched both of their hands to his chest, “Please be my boyfriend.”

Haru blinked. He blinked again, “What?”

Nagisa just stared up at him, his grip tightening and expression unwavering.

The student had to look away.

_Is he actually expecting an answer?_

“I…uh…” His gaze flickered back to the blond’s face, his face turned slightly downwards and his now-hopeful eyes were peeking at him from beneath shockingly dark lashes, “Is that something you really want?” Haru’s voice felt like dust in his throat.

Blond locks bounced as Nagisa nodded and gnawed on his bottom lip.

“Because…because I made you pizza?”

“Let’s call it a pivotal event.” Nagisa squeezed his hands.

Time ticked by slowly as the student examined the other’s face, his features painted with anticipatory innocence and a beauty that made Haru’s heart liquefy and his brain dissolve into an abortive puddle inside his skull.

His mouth opened ineffectually and a crackling noise clattered in his throat before he snapped his jaw closed again while his face burned; with speech a temporary impossibility, he tentatively stepped forward and ducked his head, willing away the tremble beneath his skin as he connected with Nagisa in a gentle, communicative kiss.

The blond released his hands and placed his own to Haru’s chest above his thrumming heart, sighing softly against his mouth. Lips soon parted in an invitation and Haru’s tongue brushed against the other’s smoothly, quietly, and he pressed their bodies together with sentiment as one of Haru’s hands slipped into the soft hair at the back of Nagisa’s head, while the other traveled to the small of his back and pulled the smaller man even closer.

Nagisa felt soft and wonderful beneath his hands, his sweet, unique scent made Haru’s mind swim with unparalleled pleasure, and the way fingertips clutched into his sweater with a growing eagerness made him dizzy. He rolled his tongue into the other’s mouth and tilted his head, the flavor he had gone without for days was slowly driving him crazy, and he knew they had to stop now or else he was going to lose control.

“God, you taste so good,” Haru breathed a whisper against the other’s lips when they parted, his voice returning, “And—“ He swallowed, “—yeah…I would l-like that.”

“Mmm.” Nagisa hummed with pleasure, his eyes still closed and voice hushed, “Did you just stutter?”

“Fuck off.”

Nagisa smiled and jumped at Haru, wrapping his legs around his waist and crashing their lips together once more. The kiss was brief and happy, and Haru braced his hands beneath Nagisa’s thighs as the blond leaned back with his arms around Haru’s neck.

“No one’s ever made me pizza before.” The graduate giggled and leaned up to kiss Haru on the forehead.

Haru’s heart was thumping with a rhythm incompatible with life and everything inside him felt fluttery and light; the thrill he felt made the edges of his vision blur with a warm haze, and all he the places where Nagisa’s body was pressed to his felt fiery and alive.

_Boyfriend._

“Never?”

Nagisa shook his head.

“You have shitty taste in men.”

“I sure do. Goddamn, it’s like a curse or someth—PLEASE DON’T DROP ME!”

They kissed once more after Nagisa’s feet were safely back on the floor, and Haru went on jiggly legs to stick the pizza into the oven with Nagisa watching excitedly over his shoulder.

“Should be ready in about twenty minutes. So…you want some wine? It’s um…the lady at the wine store recommended it.”

“Hah. The wine store.” Nagisa snickered.

Haru side-eyed the graduate as he returned to the fridge, stopping first to pick up the sucker that had clattered to the floor from Nagisa’s pizza-related outburst, and opened the door to extract his purchase.

Magenta eyes watched with intense interest as he uncorked the bottle, the corners of plump lips twitching as Nagisa fought back a sly smile.

“What?” Haru muttered self-consciously, twisting the corkscrew.

“I really _really_ like your hands.” Nagisa replied with a lick to his lips.

Haru just exhaled slowly and popped the cork before fetching the wine glasses he just bought that afternoon.

“Your fingers are so…long…strong…mm…I bet they…hmm” Nagisa tapered off to an unintelligible mumble before he bit his lip hungrily with a dreamy expression on his face, leaning his elbows on the counter as he watched the crimson liquid swirl around the glasses while Haru poured, “Can I ask you something?”

 _Oh god, please don’t._ “Sure.” The student replied, handing the other his glass while he pretended that his hands weren’t shaking.

Nagisa looked down into his glass with a perplexed look on his face.

Haru’s brow crinkled with concern, “What’s wrong?“

“If your intestines spilled out and you stepped on them, where would it hurt?”

Dark locks fluttered across the student’s forehead as he cocked his head to the side, his expression blanking – definitely not the question he was expecting, “…what?”

“You know…” Nagisa fiddled with his glass, evading Haru’s blank stare, “Like, where would your brain register the pain? Would it be like some intangible, incomprehensible sense of some kind of phantom detachment, like…would you feel compelled to reach towards the floor? Or would you, like, want to grip your stomach, like you’re having abdominal pains…or something.”

“I…” Haru began, wetting his lips, seriously considering the question for a brief moment, “I don’t think…intestines can feel that kind of pain…”

“Well, if they _could..._ ”

 Haru’s brow pinched with a few more seconds of thought before he coughed out a laugh and ran a hand through his hair, “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I thought about it on the way here. Don’t laugh at me!” Nagisa carped in offense.

“Well, I’m sorry but I don’t have the answer, you psychopath.”

“Pfft. And here I thought I had a smart boyfriend.” Nagisa grumbled into his glass before taking a disgruntled sip.

Haru’s stomach leapt at that word again.

“Oh my goooddd.” Nagisa put his hand over his eyes and held his glass out at arm’s length, “Haru. I changed my mind. I don’t want you to be my boyfriend.” He paused and took a massive gulp and licked his lips breathlessly, “Ugh – fuck. I want you to be my husband.”

Haru’s attempt at swallowing his own sip failed miserably and he slapped his hand over his mouth and leaned forward, red liquid seeping through his fingers as he ran to the sink. Nagisa immediately doubled over and burst out laughing, having to set his glass on the counter-top to clutch his stomach.

“You’re going to kill me tonight.” Haru coughed after spitting his wine down the drain as Nagisa gasped in breaths through his hysterics, taking staggering steps forward while waving his hands in front of his face.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry!” Nagisa cried, “I didn’t actually think things like that really happened to people! No more proposals, I promise, I promise!”

The student glared sideways and wiped his dipping mouth with the back of his hand and turned to flick on the faucet, but his arm was stilled by a hand on his bicep.

“Come on now,” The blond’s raucous laughter dwindled quickly into a mild titter, “Can’t be wasteful, right?”

Haru didn’t think it was possible for his face to burn even hotter, but boy did Nagisa prove that wrong; the graduate slipped his hand down the length of Haru’s arm and gently curled his fingers around the student’s wrist before drawing the reddened digits to his mouth.

Their eyes connected as a warm tongue traced up Haru’s middle finger, the tip catching between white teeth as Nagisa smiled devilishly up at him before his face relaxed into an expression of pure pleasure as he sucked the digit into his mouth, eyes fluttering shut as he swirled his tongue around the sweetened skin.

Goosebumps raced across Haru’s flesh and he shivered at the feeling of having his fingers devoured; he felt both his heart and cock jump when Nagisa looked back at him, gaze laced with  hunger as he pulled another soiled finger into his mouth.

A tremor of a groan quivered in Haru’s throat as Nagisa’s tongue moved to his palm, his stare unwavering and eyes glazed with bliss.

“Mm…” The graduate moaned hotly against Haru’s skin, “The wine is really good…but it tastes so much better like this.”

He released the student’s wrist and brought his hands to cup Haru’s cheeks before leaning up, flicking the tip of his tongue over the last couple drops of sugary fluid at the corner of Haru’s mouth.

Haru’s entire body was trembling and his pulse raced with arousal as he gripped the side of the sink with sticky, white-knuckled fingers and shuddered an exhale when Nagisa drew back, a lazy, half-lidded expression of smug triumph decorating his face.

“Mmm.” He hummed again with a final lick to his lips, “Wine store lady has good taste. I’m putting her on my Christmas card list.”

“A-as enjoyable as that was,” Haru rasped, “I…still need to wash my hands.” 

Nagisa stuck out his bottom lip and turned on his heel to retrieve his glass, “Heartbreaker.” His mumble echoed back into his face as he took another long sip, then tilted the glass back and allowed the remaining wine to slide into his mouth.

“Fucking tease.”

“More please!” Nagisa chirped as Haru moved to dry his hands, raising his glass towards him.

The student arched an inquisitive brow and smirked, “Good thing I bought two bottles, then.”

“Haru!” Nagisa placed a hand over his heart as Haru filled his glass, “Were you planning on taking advantage of me!?”

Haru set down the bottle and grabbed his own glass and held up a finger, signaling for Nagisa to wait a goddamn second, as he tipped the wine towards his mouth, “Ask me that again in a few minutes when I’m feeling more honest.” He said in a gasp after swallowing too much, a blush heavy in his face as he struggled to get the rest of the sickeningly sweet liquid down, “Oh dear god that is awful.” Haru pulled his lip up in disgust, “I think my teeth are itching.”

Nagisa shrugged, “More for me. We can’t all have such refined tastes – don’t let it get you down.”

Haru narrowed his eyes and poured himself another glass while staring at Nagisa, but jumped when his phone trilled in his pocket.

“Sorry…” Haru mumbled and pulled the device from his jeans, immediately moving to switch it to silent before tapping on the new message icon.

 

8:07pm RIN: you guys fucking yet?

 

Haru rolled his eyes.

 

8:08pm HARU: why? wanna watch?

8:08pm RIN: can I? 

 

He raised his head to see Nagisa staring at his own phone, a wide grin plastered on his face as he tapped out a message.

“Rin?” Haru asked.

“Um. Yeah.” Nagisa looked up and cleared his throat before shutting the screen off and tossing the cell onto the counter.

“Come on.” Haru smiled despite the burn in his cheeks, nodding in the direction of the living room.

“You sure you’re not going to gag all over yourself again?”

“That was your fault.”

“Can it be my fault again later, too?” The graduate flashed him a smile as he moved through the doorway.

Haru pressed his hand to his face and dropped his head, “That _barely_ makes sense.”

“That’s a yes then?” Nagisa teased from out of sight.

The student sighed, swallowed a big gulp of hummingbird feeder fluid posing as wine, and then joined his new boyfriend in the living room.

* * *

 

“Mnn Haruuu,” Nagisa groaned into the carpet from his prone position on the floor, forehead resting against his forearms, “That was so crazy good I think I’m losing consciousness.” He sighed and popped up onto his elbows to look over at Haru, who was sitting with his back against the base of the sofa.

Haru lowered his eyes and fingered the rim of his water glass, “It was just pizza.”

“There’s no such thing as ‘just pizza’. All life can be reduced to empty, idle spans of time between instances of pizza.”

“How existential.”

 “Really, though. It was amazing…this particular instance trumps any and all other possible pizza situations.”

“I’m really glad you liked it.” Haru laughed nervously, still talking to his water glass.

“Will you make it again? For me?” Nagisa dropped his head to rest on his arms folded against the floor, pink eyes peeking out meekly from beneath his bangs.

“Of course I will,” Haru mumbled, embarrassed, “I’d probably make you pizza every day if I could.”

“Oh?” Nagisa pushed himself up with his arms and crawled forward, raising up onto his knees and straddling Haru on the floor before dropping down into his lap, “And why can’t you?”

Haru raised his head as Nagisa removed the glass from his grasp to lace their fingers together, bringing one hand up to his lips to bite gently on his knuckle.

“Little things like school, work. That…stuff.” Haru mumbled shakily before wetting his lips, his eyes latched onto Nagisa’s mouth as it worked over his fingers, reminded again of how sexy the graduate looked crawling towards him on Sunday night.

“Mm.” Nagisa hummed, nipping Haru’s thumb before dropping their hands to rest on his thighs and leaning down, his nose brushing the side of the student’s cheek as he moved to whisper in his ear, “Haru-chan, tell me, why are you so nervous?”

“I’m not.” Haru frowned, knowing full well that Nagisa could likely hear his deafening heartbeat that was jarring his brain.

“So full of lies tonight,” Nagisa purred, “My boyfriend is so dishonest.” He flicked his tongue against Haru’s earlobe and elicited a shiver, the male’s fingers tightening around the other’s.

Haru swallowed.

“Shouldn’t _I_ be the nervous one tonight?”

“Why would you be?” The student breathed out in an anxious laugh.

Nagisa began planting light kisses down Haru’s jaw, murmuring against his skin, “A helpless little lamb like me in the den of a vicious wolf.”

“Wha-t?” Haru shuddered and titled his head as Nagisa nuzzled against the side of his neck, “I think the last thing you are is h-helpless.”

“But I’m in such an unfamiliar place. And look,” the graduate gestured to their empty pizza plates on the coffee table, “You’re already trying to fatten me up, getting me all tipsy and alone. Where _is_ Makoto tonight, by the way?”    

“He—ah!” Haru gasped when Nagisa bit roughly at his throat, “—is working, and then…”

“And then?” Nagisa licked a line up his neck.

“He’s…going to Kisumi’s?”

“Mmhm. How predatory of you, Haru.”

“What are you talking about!? I’m not—mmph.”

Nagisa silenced him with a hard, rough kiss and untangled their fingers to instead press his hands to Haru’s chest.

“Christ…” Haru groaned once their mouths separated, “I didn’t get him out of the apartment intentionally…if that’s what you’re getting at. But what kind of a date would that be anyway if he was hanging around? And…it’s not like we weren’t alone at your place.”

“Which brings me back to the basis of my question, _why_ are you so nervous?” He pressed a palm flush to Haru’s sternum, “My god, your heart is going crazy.”

“I’m not nervous…hearts can beat for lots of reasons.”

“If this is what you call consider ‘beating’ I’m taking you to the hospital. Tell me. Why are you nervous?”

“I don’t know.”

“You’re planning something.”

“I’m not.”

“You’re going to eat me, aren’t you?”

“You somehow make that sound appealing.”

“I somehow don’t think I would mind it.”

“You’re a ridiculous person.”

“You’re a nervous person.”

“God! We can’t all be as unshakable as you.” Haru grumbled and turned his head.

“Hey…” Nagisa reached up to cup the student’s cheek, urging him to look back at him and then taking his hand to place over his own heart, but Haru’s fingers were trembling too much to notice any movement beneath the blond’s skin, “You’re insane if you think that I’m not still nervous around you. I’m just an absolute pro at hiding it!” He grinned and raised Haru’s hand to his mouth, pressing kisses to his fingertips.

“Well…stop it. Please.” The student licked his lips, blue eyes once more magnetized to the lips on his fingers. The graduate’s sweater had slipped off his shoulder again, and it made Haru want to tear it the rest of the way off.

“Stop what?” Nagisa pulled Haru’s hand from his mouth.

“Hiding it…I’d...like to know that I’m not all by myself here.”

“You still haven’t answered my question.” He went back to nibbling.

“Tell me you’ll stop and maybe I’ll answer your question.”

“I don’t know if it’s something I can just shut off, Haru.” Nagisa dropped the student’s hand and leaned back in his lap, “It’s not like it’s something I really try to do, either. It’s just something that’s become a part of me over the years.”

“Yeah…well…”

“I promise you that you’re not alone. Whether I act like it or not…” Nagisa’s leaned close, lids heavy, and whispered against Haru’s mouth, “…this isn’t exactly something I’m used to, alright? I haven’t…I mean…” The graduate bit his lip and gently pressed their foreheads together, “Fuck, never mind. Shut up. Shut up and please let me kiss you.”

Something about the tenderness in the pressure against Haru’s lips made him believe that the graduate was being honest, and hearing those words spill from that delicious mouth right before moving over his own made his restless heart turn a somersault in his chest, and a chill zipped up his spine at the whining tone in his request.

But Haru was still skeptical.

Or maybe just stupid.

“How…can I know that—ah—for sure?” He asked as Nagisa left his lips and went to work sucking at his racing pulse.

“Mm…I guess you can’t,” Small fingers laced between his own again and Nagisa moved their hands to either side of Haru’s head, pressing him back against the seat of the couch, “You just have to trust me.”

“And what if I don’t?” Haru whispered, pushing his head back further and narrowing his eyes, searching the graduate’s face.

Exasperation flickered across Nagisa’s features and he immediately released Haru’s hands and raised up on his knees, cocking his head to the side and sticking his fists to his hips, “Then that’s really shitty.” Light brows crinkled, “And you’re one to talk! You’re not exactly transparent, you know! Why the fuck would I—WAH!”

Nagisa screeched when Haru threw his arms around his middle and squeezed, trapping the smaller male against his own body and tipping him backwards, shoving him to the carpet beside the coffee table in a hug with a soft thud.

“So rough! Why!” Nagisa giggle-shrieked and struggled beneath the student, wiggling fruitlessly in strong arms as Haru pushed his lips to the side of his neck.

“Because you like it.” He murmured against his skin with a smirk.

“No no stop stoooop! You’re being a jerk! Let me be agitated!” Nagisa squirmed but Haru just held him tighter, his teeth grazing the fair skin of the graduate’s throat, “You’ll break me! I’m fragile! I’m fragi—oohmm…” Nagisa’s mirth dissolved into a moan of arousal when Haru’s teeth sunk into his neck, “Fuuuck yes.” He groaned and wrapped his legs around Haru’s hips. Haru sucked greedily on the pale flesh, his hands migrating to the arc of hipbones and gripping his fingers hard into the skin beneath Nagisa’s shirt.

His thumbs dipped below the waistband of black jeans and the graduate arched up into him with a loud keen, his legs forcing Haru closer as his fists wound into black hair.

The student pressed their lips together forcefully and licked into Nagisa’s mouth, moaning as the graduate submitted to the eagerness of the kiss.

Mustering all the self-control in the world, Haru abruptly pulled away, victorious.

“Fragile, huh?” He laughed and raised up, detaching himself from the panting, flushed mess on the carpet.

Nagisa thumped his head back on to the floor and exhaled loudly through his nose as he hid his face in his hands, “So cruel.” He groused.

“I learn from the best.” Haru snickered, “You taste like pizza, by the way.”

The graduate slapped his palms against the ground and snapped his face forward, mouth agape in offense, “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“I say that like it’s a fact. But…um,” Haru stood and looked around like a nervous idiot, clearing his throat once before peeking back down at Nagisa, “I have something else for you.” He reached down and helped Nagisa stand, smirking openly at the way he staggered once on his unsteady legs before pointing at the couch, “Sit.”

Nagisa blinked and cocked a smile, but wordlessly obeyed and plopped himself onto the cushions with a bounce.

“Close your eyes.”

“Why!?” Nagisa cried and drew his knees up to his chest, his eyes doing the exact opposite of the request as he wrapped his arms around his shins, “What are you going to do to me!? I knew it! You really are going to eat me!”

Haru took a deep breath and exhaled shakily, his arousal level hitting the fucking roof for some reason at the image of the frightened little blond.

“How do you do that?” Haru muttered his question to the floor.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Nagisa giggled and dropped his knees to sit cross-legged, leaning his elbows onto his legs and resting his face in his hands.

“You say I’m not transparent and yet,” He gestured to the blond, “You do things like that… _completely_ on purpose. You somehow know…”

“Know what?” Nagisa looked genuinely confused.

 _Know how to make me want you even more._ “Never mind. Close your eyes? Please?” Haru’s voice was hesitant and pleading to his dismay, though maybe Nagisa didn’t notice.

The smug, shit-eating grin suggested that he did, but he closed his eyes one at a time anyway.

“No peeking.” Haru moved to turn towards the doorway, but the sight of the graduate all vulnerable with a small smile on his lips beneath closed eyes was just too adorable to bear, so he tiptoed up to the couch and placed a light kiss on Nagisa’s lips, his chest burning at the little flutter of eyelids as he pulled back, “And I trust you.” He finished with a whisper, turning away quickly and gathering their dirty plates on his way to the kitchen.

Haru’s mind was wiped of everything that wasn’t blond and sexy as hell and presently sitting in his living room as he wandered wobbly to the sink, still slightly hard from Nagisa writhing beneath him; he even briefly forgot why he went in there in the first place. Was Nagisa really this shaken up when he invited Haru over? No, he couldn’t have been. It wasn’t like he had planned for them to spend the night together. It was a last minute invitation that freed the graduate from the horrors of the crippling anxiety that he had gone through all day, and FUCK. All he wanted to do was run back in there and throw Nagisa down against the cushions, forcing that look of disheveled arousal back onto his face and move against him, kissing down his neck and clawing at his clothes…

“Ugh…” He groaned quietly as he dumped the dishes into the sink, wincing at the loud clatter and butted his forehead against a cabinet, curling his fingers against the edge of the countertop and attempting a deep, stabilizing breath. He had no idea how to handle the unfamiliar fire kindling in his chest. On one hand, he was completely consumed by an excruciatingly urgent desire, and he wanted nothing more than to drag Nagisa into his bedroom and fuck him into the mattress until they both couldn’t move, but he doubted that once he made the decision to do that he wouldn’t be able make it to the bed and would just end up banging him on the floor or the couch, but then the thought of that sort of made his chest ache…and not in a good way. And _that_ was where Haru was at a loss.

The only experience he had with actual sex had absolutely nothing to do with tenderness or emotion, and even though it had felt incredibly good, it still had felt like he was just going through the motions; like it was just _something to do_ , and there had been a sort of disconnect between what was happening to his body and what was going on in his mind.

Which, if he recalled correctly, was nothing. It was all just blank – vacant. Somehow he still managed to be bored while his dick was in his professor’s ass – which _may_ have been cause for concern, now that he thought about it.

Fuck! He had absolutely no idea how to be someone’s _boyfriend._ He was selfish and introverted – “dead inside” as Rin put it – and he really wasn’t good at showing affection.

As far as he was concerned, he might as well be a fucking virgin.  

_Oh right. Dessert._

He crossed the floor to the fridge and removed a small, round platter from the chilled air and snagged the second bottle of wine and two forks right before the muted creak of floorboards caught his ear.

“What are you doing in there?” He demanded with slightly more bite in his tone than he intended.

“Getting lonely. Hurry up!”

“Are your eyes still closed?” He called, embarrassment flooding his core as he wondered why he was doing something so...silly.

“…yes!”

A dark brow arched and Haru came around the corner, “Why do you sound out of breath?”

“I don’t!” Nagisa’s insisted, voice muffled by his knees as he had resumed his defensive, child-like position.

Haru paused and did a visual sweep of the room; nothing seemed out of place.

“What did you do?” The student quietly stepped to the coffee table and down the wine and plate carefully.

“I swear to god I will open my eyes if you don’t stop with your accusations!”

Haru’s heartbeat was a racket in his ears when he sat beside the graduate, blond locks fluttering as Nagisa raised his head when the cushion dipped beside him, “I know you did something, but you…can open your eyes.”

Nagisa opened one eye, peeking sideways at Haru, the second lid raising quickly as he perked up at the anxious expression on the student’s face.

“Haaaaru, what is…oh…OH!” Magenta eyes flew wide when they slid to the coffee table, “AH! Haru! It’s beautiful!” Nagisa launched himself at the student – who was honestly sort of expecting this kind of reaction…well, hoping for this reaction, anyway – so he caught him as Nagisa crashed into his chest, the momentum carrying them into the cushions as the blond attacked Haru’s lips with his own.

“Ugh!” Nagisa pulled himself from Haru’s face and pushed himself up, “I don’t know how much more my heart can take. You’re amazing! Can we eat it!?”

“That was the idea.” Haru breathed, a little too aware of the way Nagisa’s hips were pressing hard into his own as he straddled him.

Nagisa leapt off the couch and kneeled in front of the coffee table, wide eyes running hungrily over the small, circular cake in front of him.

The frosting was a deep, rich chocolate, marbled with swirls of light pink down the sides, and the top was covered in slices of fresh strawberries, with scarlet, syrupy juice oozing over the edge. At the center rested two full, chocolate covered strawberries drizzled with a white icing.

“The cake itself is chocolate, too. There’s a whipped cream filling with more strawberries in it...” Haru explained, mildly flustered, “I might have gone overboard with the strawberry thing tonight but I know you like—“

Haru’s insecurity was silenced immediately by a swipe of chocolaty fingers to his mouth.

Nagisa stuffed his messy digits into his own mouth and licked off the remaining frosting while Haru licked at his lips, laughing as he wiped the chocolate off his skin with his thumb. He snatched a fork off the table and handed it to the blond, “I was going to say you should start, but you ruined that.”

“We can eat it just like this!? No plates?”

“We’re adults and we will do whatever the fuck we want. Plus, I’m not giving you any other choice.”

Haru poured them each another glass of wine, though he ended up giving his to Nagisa because it really was pretty disgusting – plus he was a little curious as to what the blond was like when he was tipsy…curious, though also moderately terrified – and they dug into the cake.

Nagisa quickly abandoned his fork and insisted on feeding both himself and Haru with his hands, and soon their faces were sticky, fingers messy with cake and frosting, and Nagisa fed Haru one of the chocolate covered strawberries with his mouth.

They ate almost half of the dessert before they were full, and Haru couldn’t handle the stickiness on his skin so he pulled Nagisa along with him to the bathroom to wash and tidy up.

“Sorry it’s not quite as magnificent as yours,” Haru teased about his bathroom as he washed his hands, feeling a little more relaxed, “I hope you don’t mind slumming it the whole night.”

“Well yeah, obviously.” Nagisa declared, voice muffled with his face in a towel, “Poor trash is, like, totally my thing.”

Haru scoffed and opened his mouth to fire back a retort, but he stopped when Nagisa dropped his hands, his mouth all red from scrubbing at it and hair sticking up all funny in the front; Haru’s heart melted, “Well thank god I qualify.” He said seriously.

“Who said I was staying the night, anyway?” Nagisa frowned and tossed his towel at Haru’s face.

“I, uh,” Haru’s cheeks pinked as he caught the towel, “Well, would—“

“Of course I will, you destitute plebe.” Nagisa grinned and flung his arms around his boyfriend’s neck, “Fuck, after what you did for me tonight I’d have your children if you asked me to.”

Haru’s nerves leapt back into action as Nagisa leaned against him, pushing him back against the sink as the cloth fluttered to the ground. He attempted a laugh but it came out as more of a garbled cough than anything.

“That was an interesting noise.” Nagisa snickered and leaned up to kiss him, but a deafening, crashing boom suddenly froze them both in place as the lights flickered above them.

“What the fuck was that?” Nagisa’s eyes were instantly wide and his voice was hushed; he tightened his grip around Haru’s shoulders and jumped into his arms as alarmed blue eyes raised to the ceiling.

“Was that…thunder?” Haru’s own grip tightened involuntarily around the blond’s thin waist as the lights flickered again, followed by another roaring clap.

“It is thunder! Haru! Snow lightning!” Nagisa’s fear melted into dizzying excitement as he wiggled out of Haru’s arms to shoot out of the bathroom and back into the living room, “Haru quick, quick turn out the lights!” He cried as he rushed to the window with Haru following slowly after him.

“Can that happen!?” Haru asked in shock as he watched Nagisa throw back the dark blue curtains. “Holy shit…”

The scene outside was intense – a complete whiteout. The yellow haze of the streetlights barely broke through the thickness of the snow as it whirled and drifted across the sky, the accumulation already completely blanketing the ground with half a foot of fluffy white.

Haru snapped off the floor lamp and joined the excited blond by the window as he danced in place.

“Oh my god I hope we have a snow day!” Nagisa balled his fists and looked over at Haru, his eyes radiant with joy.

“Remind me again how old you are?” Haru teased nervously, leaning his hands against the glass to try to peek down the street, “Besides, it’s the weeken—“

The student started when the sky lit up in a flash of ultra-white just moments before another clap of thunder shook the apartment. He took two ridged steps backwards and his sharp eyes fell to Nagisa’s profile, his face illuminated a gorgeous, eerie blue in the low light as his own alert eyes searched the storm, his delicate fingertips pressed against the cold glass and flanking the warm puffs of air fogging the window.

“Haruuuu! Can we go outside! I wanna see!” Nagisa whipped around and laced his fingers together in prayer.

“No! Absolutely not!” Haru snapped, his eyes darting from the blond’s pleading face to the wintry chaos outside, “You can see just fine from here!”

“Aww pleeease?” Nagisa pouted.

“No! Are you insane?”

Nagisa dropped his hands, a wily smirk replaced his pout as he crept forward, “Are you scaaared?”

“Scared of you getting struck by lightning? Of course I am.” Haru scowled.

“Aw.” Nagisa frowned and placed his small hands on Haru’s hips, “Really?”

“What do you mean, ‘really’? How—“ They both jumped when another bolt of lightning ignited the sky, followed immediately by a rumble of thunder.

“That’s…” Nagisa stared past Haru into the darkness of the living room and bit the corner of his lip, “Distressingly adorable.”  

“I think you just summed up your entire aesthetic.”

“Does ‘massive dork’ sum up yours?”

“Evidently.”

“How amazing would it be if the power went out?” Nagisa sighed and turned back to the window and leaned his hands against the sill, “That was always a fantasy of mine, you know?”

“That’s a very boring fantasy.” The student said, hesitating before walking up behind the blond and slipping his arms around his middle and leaning his head onto his shoulder, praying that he wasn’t noticeably trembling.

Nagisa sunk back against the gesture and clicked his tongue, butting the side of his head against Haru’s, “That’s obviously not all of it, stupid.”

“Don’t blame your vagueness on my stupidity,” Haru’s voice came out muffled by the soft fabric of the cardigan, “Elaborate.”

“I’m not elaborating. You’re a smart boy, use that brain of yours.”

“I’d rather you used that mouth of yours.”

“I’m sure you would.” Nagisa giggled and ran his fingers through the black hair against his shoulder.

“Tell me.” Haru shook off Nagisa’s hand and raised his head to bite at the crook of his neck.

“Ah! Okay okay. Pour me more wine first. I’m shy.”

Haru snorted and detached from the blond before eyeing the coffee table in the dark, trying to make out the shape of the bottle and their glasses, but the thought of dumping sticky liquid onto the carpet wasn’t a pleasant one, so he snapped on a light before deciding that he too was feeling “shy” and poured himself a glass as well.

“Well?” Haru pressed as Nagisa wiggled against him on the couch, nestling into Haru’s side.

“Don’t make me say it! I’m embarrassed! It’s stupid and unoriginal!” The blond covered his face with his free hand.

“You’re the one who brought it up, you know.”

“You owe me one too, then.” Nagisa mumbled through his fingers.

“Owe you what?”

“A fantasy.”

Haru coughed but Nagisa didn’t wait for an answer before he swiftly downed the wine and leaned over to set the glass on the carpet before swinging a leg over the sputtering student’s lap, placing his hands on tremulous shoulders and settling onto Haru’s thighs as the student struggled for air.

“Cute.” Nagisa snickered, pressing their foreheads together once Haru recovered.

“Wait wait, I haven’t agreed to anything!”

“I know, just shh. Let me concentrate. I’m going to tell you so shh.” Pink eyes squeezed shut and he started with a whisper, “So. Back in high school I liked to day dream in class. Mostly math class because it was just _so boring_ …” Nagisa lifted his head and paused, gauging Haru’s reaction before continuing.

“Go on.” He replied impassively.

“Um…okay, so there was this guy. Kind of quiet, sort of a huge nerd, _really_ pretty, blue eyes, black hair, hands and fingers that made my mouth water—“

“Wait—“

“My memory is a little hazy, okay? Sheesh! Let me improvise!”

Haru rolled his eyes.

“Okay, so he sat sort of in front of me and to the side, angled perfectly so I could watch him the whole class and let my mind drift to all sorts of places…mind you, I was like 15 at the time so the places weren’t exactly _interesting_ …” Nagisa squirmed a bit in Haru’s lap and pretended not to notice when the student inhaled sharply.

“Anyway, so I would stare at this guy and imagine what would happen if some disaster were to hit the school. Like a tornado or earthquake or something, something that would really get our adrenaline going, right? So I came up with this… _scene_. Alright so…Boom! Sharknado hits! Everyone is freaked out and suddenly the school is plunged into darkness!” Nagisa waved his hands around the room for emphasis.

“But this guy, he’s not freaked out. In fact, he’s had a plan for something like this all along. Go figure, right? So suddenly, he turns around and grabs my wrist with his gorgeous hands…” Nagisa gathered Haru’s own hands into his palms and laced their fingers together, “… and looks into my eyes and says, ‘I know where we will be safe, come with me.’ and I’m like ‘whaaat?’ but he drags me through the screaming students and into the dark hallway and we have to feel around the wall to find our way around, and students are crashing into us but he keeps pulling me along through the dark hallway. I’m super scared but _super_ turned on because this guy is just…gah, so amazing, and he’s _touching me_ , and my hands are sweating and I’m shaking but I just have to keep following him. So then—“

“Okay, seriously wait,” Haru interrupted, dropping their hands into Nagisa’s lap and pressing himself back into the couch, “If it’s pitch black in the school, how do you know he was looking into your eyes when he grabbed your hand? And what, were there no windows in your school or something? Did this happen at night?”

“Uh…” Nagisa’s brows pinched, “I did mention that this was a fantasy, right? Not, like, actual events?”

“Plot holes are plot holes.”

“Rude...” A brief look of annoyance crossed Nagisa’s face, but it morphed quickly into a wolfish grin; Haru suddenly felt very intimidated by the way Nagisa’s chin lifted slightly, his heartbeat picked up the pace, hammering in his ears at the mischievous look reflected in the blond’s twinkling eyes, “So then…my eyes start to adjust and I see that he’s leading me to the nurse’s office,” Nagisa licked his lips and slipped his arms around Haru’s neck and leaned up off his lap, staring into his eyes, “Super cliché, right? Now this is where it gets good. Are you paying attention?”

Haru nodded slowly as he peered up silently into dark eyes, dragging his nails up the side of the graduate’s thighs to rest his hands against the warm skin beneath his shirt above slender hips.

“Mm…that feels nice.” Nagisa hummed as Haru’s fingers grazed above the waistband of his jeans, “So, he turns to me and pulls me against him and leans his mouth down just millimeters from mine,” Nagisa mirrored his own words and ducked his head, ghosting his lips over the student’s, slipping his fingers into black hair and tugging back gently before speaking softly against his mouth, his playful voice barely a whisper, “And he says…‘I’ve been hoping for a way to get you alone like this for a long time, and now…I don’t think I’ll be able to control myself…’”

Nagisa dropped his eyes and tilted his head as if to move to connect their lips, but he instead tugged Haru’s hair again, craning the student’s neck back as he himself sucked in a quick breath before licking his lips deviously, reveling in the manner in which Haru’s lips parted first in anticipation before emitting a quiet whine. Lids dropped to conceal blown pupils rimmed with a deep blue as Haru exhaled shakily, his fingers instinctively flexing against Nagisa’s hips.

“Tease…” The student breathed, cracking his eyes open and peering though heavy lids at the look of lustful triumph etched into the other’s face.

“Shh…don’t interrupt,” Nagisa murmured, tightening his fingers into the soft locks as he ran the thumb of his other hand across Haru’s bottom lip, “Unless you want to show me what you think happens next.”

Haru tilted his face down slightly, as much as he could with the fingers wound tightly into his hair, and caught the graduate’s thumb between his teeth and closed his eyes again, shaking his head slowly and sliding his hands up beneath the pink shirt to the arc of the graduate’s shoulder blades, curling his nails against the soft flesh.

“Ah!” Nagisa straightened up and whimpered as nails dragged gently down his back, “U-um…” He eeked out, voice mildly strained as Haru’s hands slid back up and then down again, fingertips barely touching the prickled skin.

“Are you going to continue?” Haru’s voice sounded equally strained after releasing the graduate’s thumb from between his teeth.

“Obviously…just…mmnn.” Nagisa dropped his head against Haru’s shoulder, “How you can be such a nervous wreck and still be able to make me melt is incredible.”

Haru buried his face into blond hair as his skin shifted to crimson, the huff of an embarrassed scoff hot against the other’s scalp, “I’m just responding to you.”

“Fuck…” The graduate shivered as Haru’s fingers worked their way down each ridge of his ribcage, slipping out from beneath his shirt and running along up the inside of the edge of the sweater, palms grazing nipples hardening under the soft fabric as the student edged the cardigan off of shuddering shoulders.

“Keep going.” Haru whispered, his face hot and body hotter at the way Nagisa turned his head and began to pant against the side of his neck.

“S-so then,” Nagisa picked his head up and pressed his hands to Haru’s shoulders, forcing him back and away with a shaky smile and a blush in his cheeks. He licked his lips before continuing in the same hushed tone, “He cups the back of my head and kisses me…hard…and since it’s my first kiss I’m burning up, my body is on fire, my legs are all wobbly,” He pushed his lips to the shell of Haru’s ear and dropped his hands to settle against the student’s at his waist, “and suddenly he’s touching me all over. His hands are rough and big and warm and he’s tugging off my shirt and he backs me up until I’m right up against one of the cots…and he takes one of my hands in his…” Again, Nagisa’s actions mimicked his story and he pulled one of the student’s hands and held it between their bodies, his other hand guiding Haru’s fingers to wrap around a slender wrist before continuing with a slight quaver to his voice, “…and then…he presses my hand…against his cock…”

Haru needed absolutely no more encouragement and pulled Nagisa’s hand to palm his own growing dick against the inside of his thigh, a rough groan ripping through his throat as Nagisa widened his thighs and fell back down into his lap.

“Ah—“ The blond gasped, lifting his chin and running his mouth over Haru’s accelerating pulse, “Eager?” He breathed hotly with a smile.

The student said nothing, but rather moaned loudly, whining through his nose as he bit his lip while the graduate pressed against him, running his thumb along the denim and tightening his legs around Haru’s hips.

Nagisa’s eyes were glazed when he rocked back to regard the other as he continued to stroke him to full hardness through his pants; his other hand gripped tightly into the front of Haru’s sweater as his chest rose and fell shallowly; pink eyes lowered to parted lips emitting quiet pants, wetting his own lips as he stared into blue eyes, “I love feeling you get hard in my hand.”

Haru watched, transfixed, the way pink lips, wet and bitten, formed around the words that heated his skin and the air around them, and suddenly he was suffocating in his multiple layers of clothing, cursing himself for his choice of wardrobe.

Or at least he would have, had any blood been available to pilot his brain.

Nagisa leaned up again, hand still dragging slowly over the inside of the student’s thigh, “Shall I continue?” He breathed against the student’s mouth.

“P-please.”

“He pushes me down against the cot…and he’s _so hard_ …” Nagisa drew out the words and gripped Haru’s erection tightly, the fingers of his other hand walking down to flick at the button of the student’s jeans.

Haru’s spine arched and breath began to come quicker, the feeling of teasing fingers at his waist making him feel like he was hyperventilating, and he began rocking his hips ever so slightly off the couch and into the graduate’s warm hand.

“My, my, Haru-chan…if I didn’t know any better…” Nagisa’s voice was wantonly sweet and scalding hot against the younger’s damp throat, “I’d say you liked the thought of me getting fucked by someone el—“

But the graduate’s taunting was cut short as a roar of thunder crashed around them, followed by a blinding flash just before the lights flickered once, twice, and then fizzled out completely, blanketing the room in almost pitch darkness save for a soft, eerie blue glow from some indiscernible light source outside in the storm.

Nagisa had yelped sharply at the deafening boom and thrown his arms around Haru’s neck, but was now loosening his grip, his body trembling slightly beneath the student’s hands settled against his lower back.

“I can’t believe that actually happened,” Haru breathed in a quiet laugh after a full minute of tense silence, voice tremulous with a mixture of arousal and unease as Nagisa leaned back in his lap, dropping his hands heavily against his own thighs, his chest rising and falling as breaths came heavily, labored.

Haru blinked in the dark, struggling to focus on the graduate’s wide, shocked eyes, lips parted with the effort of rapidly increasing breaths. He felt the blond’s small fingers tense against the inside of his legs, arms shaking as he gripped into the fabric of his jeans. The air between them was thick and filled with the sound of Nagisa’s harsh breathing, but silent otherwise.

“Hey…Nagisa…” Haru was suddenly fearful; something was wrong. He brought a hand up gently to cup the blond’s warm cheek, still unable to fully read the other’s expression in the darkness. He wasn’t saying anything.

Yeah, something was definitely wrong.

“A-are you, okay?” The student asked quietly, nervous, drawing his other hand away from Nagisa’s waist, but it was quickly snatched and squeezed with a startling strength as a bright flash illuminated the room, effectively answering his question for him.

A sharp inhale caught in his throat.

Nagisa’s eyes were indeed wide, pupils dilated completely, but the deep flush in his face indicated to Haru that it wasn’t just from the lack of light. His lips were parted and he was panting – an image to be likely burned into Haru’s mind for the rest of his life, one that would undoubtedly resurface again and again at inopportune times.

Never in his life had Haru ever seen anyone so _profoundly_ turned on.

“Holy shit…” His dick swelled and throbbed along with his heart, and he was suddenly jolted from the couch, Nagisa’s weight disappearing from his lap without warning as his arm was yanked roughly, sending him stumbling forward before their lips crashed together with a desperate violence, the graduate’s tongue immediately demanding entrance and rolling insistently against his own.

Small fists latched onto Haru’s collar and pulled him roughly forward as they kissed, out of control and messy, the student’s own hands aching to feel the blond beneath him but were instead occupied with abruptly bracing against the wall he knew was there as they stumbled blind towards the door, wincing against the other’s hot mouth as Nagisa’s spine collided hard with the doorframe.

Nagisa clearly couldn’t care less as he released a needy moan against Haru’s lips, winding his fingers into black hair and thrusting his hips forward the moment the student crashed into him.

“Nngh—Nagisa…” Haru whimpered when their erections clashed together, his body on fire and mind hazy as he world tilted on its axis, everything slipping sideways with dizzying vertigo, not knowing just when exactly they slid to the floor, but he found himself being dragged down against the smaller man, his thigh nudging up between his legs while Nagisa planted sloppy, open-mouthed kisses to his throat.

“Haru.” Nagisa choked, throwing his head back against the wood floor and grabbing a fistful of black sweater, shoving Haru off of him but whining at the loss of contact at the same time, “Hah—fuck—“ He panted breathlessly in the dark, “Haru…” He repeated, his voice edged with rough desire.

“Ah—hah—what?” The student struggled for air, his hands planted against the hard wood beside Nagisa’s head, “What’s wrong?”

 Shuffling beneath him,  Nagisa raised up onto his elbows and led the student back onto his knees before kicking his own legs under him, leaning up to speak against Haru’s wet mouth,

“Bedroom,” Nagisa gasped hoarsely, palming Haru through his jeans while his other hand popped open the button, “Now.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regional notes:
> 
> During my research, I found that "thundersnow", while extremely common in my neck of the woods, is wildly rare in other parts of the populated world. I had no idea. 
> 
> Also, I was once accosted by a surly fellow who demanded to know what a "sucker" was. It's just another word for a lollipop! I also did not know that that was a regional term. I'm learning so many new things these days :D


	14. Chapter 14

_Wait._

Haru’s breaths came quick as he dragged Nagisa off the floor of the hallway, their lips colliding and tongues rolling again and again. Moans filled the dark apartment and small hands clawed at the student’s sweater, demanding its removal with rough tugs punctuated with grunts of desperation and the thudding of limbs off of walls as they clumsily stumbled through the pitch black in the direction of Haru’s bedroom.

The backs of his thighs hit the bed and he fell backwards; Nagisa climbed on top to straddle his waist, tugging the sweater over Haru’s head to cast it off somewhere into the dark room.

_Wait._

Nimble fingers went to work on the buttons of Haru’s shirt, parting the fabric and dragging down his abdomen to the waistband of his unzipped jeans. He raised up onto his elbows as Nagisa grabbed the sides of his face to pull him in for another messy kiss, rolling his hips downward.

_Please wait._

His head spinning, Haru shucked his shirt the rest of the way off his arms and tossed it behind him to grip Nagisa’s thighs roughly and switch their positions; the graduate let out a quiet cry of surprise as his back hit the mattress.  

Haru descended; his lips found the soft, hot flesh of the graduate’s throat and he sucked, hard, and when Nagisa’s mouth fell open in pleasure, his fingers found their way inside. Nagisa lapped and moaned, drawing them back into his throat and laving them in an exquisite wet heat.

Their legs tangled and Nagisa rut up against Haru’s thigh as he sucked; his breathy moans of gratification sent shockwaves through Haru’s hands and worked their way beneath his skin, enflaming his nerves with intoxicating lust-fueled mania.

“N-no!” Haru finally gasped out, shoving Nagisa back against the bed, “Just…wait.”

A shattered whimper and the drag of fingernails down the skin of Haru’s back came right before a strangled, “Why!?”

“I-I can’t…” Haru found trembling shoulders beneath his hands and yanked the graduate off the bed and into his chest, crushing him into a deep, needy kiss. He pulled off, blind, and buried his face into soft blond hair, “Ugh, fuck. I can’t see anything. I need—I need to see you—nng, god.” Haru moaned at the feeling of hands urgently pawing at his waist, running over his swollen cock, parting the rough denim and fingers tracing the length.

“Shit…I want you. I want to feel you. Please—“ Nagisa tried to pull Haru down to the bed with him but Haru managed to wiggle out of his grip.

“I’m begging you, wait. Please wait just…a second—“

“I’m not waiting anymore. I want you…inside m—“

“STOP!” Haru’s fingers closed around thin wrists and yanked the heavenly hands from his body, pinning them above his head, “Nagisa…” Haru breathed quietly, dipping low to whisper into the graduate’s ear, “I need you to wait for me. Please…I need to get…I have to be able to see you.”

A thick swallow and a whimper proceeded a sharp intake of breath and Nagisa struggled feebly against the bed, “No…” His voice was breathy and quiet, pleading, “Don’t go anywhere. I…don’t leave.”

Haru’s heart clenched and he breathed out long and slow through his nose, still holding Nagisa’s hands tight over his head, and trailed his lips down the side of his jaw, placing a soft kiss on his chin and then at the corner of his parted lips. He could feel himself yielding to the small form beneath him, repressing his selfish desire to have this go exactly the way he wanted. Feeling Nagisa, being with Nagisa, in itself, was thrilling. Maybe sight wasn’t a necessity.

“Just touch me right now…” Nagisa breathed, turning to speak against his boyfriend’s lips.

“But…Nagisa…”

“Five minutes.” He begged in a breathy voice that made Haru’s blood spike, “Five minutes like this and you can do whatever you want. Just give me this.” And then fingers tangled into black hair, the student’s grip on Nagisa’s wrists having loosened and his lips gave in to a hard kiss. Nagisa’s legs locked around his back and pulled him in close as can be, a hot groan slipped over Haru’s tongue in a sweet exhale as he pulled back briefly before diving back in to capture the lips he was only granted the pleasure of tasting – of feeling; blind from the storm and Nagisa’s power over him.

A tug of slim legs and a roll of hips had Haru seeing stars of pleasure as Nagisa ground up against him, detaching from their kiss and throwing his head back with a deep moan.

Haru gripped the bedding beside Nagisa’s head and allowed the blond to rock against him, tilting his head up and panting into the dark; he didn’t know if his eyes were open or closed when Nagisa stilled before leading him back with a gentle push to his chest. He sat back onto this heels and felt Nagisa take his face in his hands, kissing him open-mouthed and deeply, dropping his arms to grope for Haru’s hands to lead them to the buckle of his belt as he sunk into Haru’s lap.

“Take it off for me.”

Nagisa whined when Haru’s fingers dipped beneath his waistband, his other hand thumbing his erection through his tight jeans as he leaned forward, “Not yet.” Haru breathed against the graduate’s neck, suckling his pulse gently. It was racing beneath his lips, strong and quick with need. He shifted his hands beneath Nagisa’s ass and slid him forward, grinding him bodily against his hardness and pressing his face into the crook of his neck, inhaling deeply; the strength and power of the graduate’s scent was only magnified by the loss of his vision, and he brought a hand to cup the back of his head, flexing fingers into soft blond hair and tugging downward, exposing the length of the other’s soft neck, hot and damp with perspiration.

Haru moaned loudly, panting, as he dragged his nose and lips up the fragrant skin, the fingers of one hand massaging the hardened flesh beneath black denim and drawing small mewls of pleasure from the other’s lips.

“M-more.” Nagisa whimpered when teeth grazed his throat.

Haru sunk his teeth in above the ridge of a collar bone, feeling Nagisa cock his head further, opening himself up to the assault on his flesh and grip his fingers firmly into his back.

He tilted forward, lowering Nagisa onto the bed and sat back up to drag the small man’s thighs up, hooking them around his waist to thrust into him. Strangled cries of ‘yes’ spilled over Nagisa’s tongue in response to the simulated act, his hands finding his own belt buckle, tugging the leather through the loops before his hands were stilled by Haru’s strong grip.

“No.” The student panted, “That’s for me.”

“Hurry then. Please.” Nagisa begged.

Haru conceded immediately, unfastening the belt slowly with one hand and sliding it from its position. Nagisa jumped when it clattered to the floor.

Untangling himself from Nagisa’s legs, Haru bent forward, teething the button of his pants and sliding his hands up beneath the graduate’s shirt, exposing his taught abdomen to the black room and kissing below his navel softly, flicking his tongue out to taste the skin covering the twitching muscle. His fingers traced up the creases of delicate ribs, soft skin prickled with Nagisa’s shudders of muted pleasure as his back arched into the feathery touch.

Haru’s own skin seemed to sing with the other’s sensation. He slid the shirt up, the fabric soft and warm against his knuckles, mirroring the exposed skin beneath his hands. He reveled in the dip of a ribcage yielding to the flat plane of a smooth stomach under the pads of his circling thumbs. He nosed the shirt up farther, placing openmouthed kisses to a chest quivering with shallow breaths and a pounding heart.

He felt his own nerves ignite as his hands dragged down a slender waist, his lips finding the bud of a pert nipple and his cock throbbing hotly at a keening moan he could almost feel tear from his own throat.

Nagisa whimpered and bucked up against the student’s stomach, his erection still caged beneath too many layers of clothing as Haru’s tongue swirled in achingly slow circles.

“You taste…nngh…amazing.” Haru breathed hot over wet flesh as Nagisa’s thigh nudged up between his legs, lighting sparks behind his eyes.

Nagisa reached down and cupped Haru’s chin gently, drawing him up without the need for force to connect their lips again. Haru dissolved into the pleasure at the graduate’s tongue caressing his own, and pressing down into the kiss his chest bloomed with an urgent affection; emotion spilled, blossoming in fractals of ultraviolet that smoldered in his vision.

Haru suppressed the urge to sob at the loss when Nagisa broke their kiss, shifting beneath him and taking Haru’s hand in his, guiding it slowly down his body.

“Undress me.”

The words were liquid in his ear. He could taste them on his own tongue and feel Nagisa’s lips as if they were his own as they formed around each hushed syllable.

He blinked slowly without the need to in the inky dark, a reflex, a silent outcry. His mind was dull; the vague desire for the sense of sight turned to a feeble beacon mired in the haze of auditory and tactile bliss, his earlier protests forgotten as his hands worked with haste to undo the button at his fingertips, to draw down the zipper and raise the graduate’s hips to slide the clothing over his firm ass and down his thighs.

Haru’s lips found a smooth calf before the jeans hit the floor. Nagisa gasped as Haru’s fingers made their way up the back of his leg, curling into the muscle at the back of his thigh. Haru hummed into warm skin, opening his lips to nip his way to the graduate’s knee, relishing each whimper, every shiver. Placing Nagisa’s leg, bent, to the bed, he nudged his legs apart with a shoulder and crawled back between them, winding an arm behind the small of Nagisa’s back and lifting him against his chest, the graduate’s thighs parted easily over his own.

“I don’t think you’re done yet.” Nagisa spoke breathlessly against the side of Haru’s neck, kissing behind his ear and lacing their fingers together against his thigh.

“I just…needed this for a second,” Haru whispered, “Kiss me.”

The thumb of the blond’s other hand found Haru’s lips, caressing them gently before he leaned forward.

Long and slow, their kiss kindled and a surge of visceral warmth flared behind his ribcage and spread out through his veins, a fire occupying his flesh ignited by pure, blind sensation.

Haru pulled off, panting, and dropped his forehead against the other’s.

“Nagisa…” He felt drunk, “I—“

“Lie back.” Nagisa interrupted, his breath warm against Haru’s lips.

Haru wordlessly obeyed, dropping slowly back onto his elbows and parting his legs to allow the graduate to slip between as he kissed down his bare chest. He sucked in air at a warm tongue teasing at his navel, inches from his dick pressing hard against the front of his briefs. Haru could feel the graduate’s hot breath ghosting over his arousal, teasing fingers working their way into the waistband. Then groping hands were at his hips, tugging his jeans down and shoving them down his legs.

Haru kicked them the rest of the way off and was immediately shoved against the comforter and his hips firmly straddled, Nagisa’s bare cock pressing down against him and thighs squeezing him tightly.

 “God, I wish I could see you.” Haru moaned as Nagisa’s hands drifted down his abs.

“You know what I look like,” Nagisa purred, slipping his hand into Haru’s underwear, “And you don’t need to see to be able to feel this.”

“Yeah…but…s-shit,” Haru moaned at the feeling of Nagisa’s warm hand wrapping around his shaft. His hips stuttered up into a painfully slow pump, Nagisa’s smooth palm dragging up to his slick head and back down gradually. He groaned and gripped the graduate’s thighs when he unexpectedly removed his hand.

Nagisa shifted slightly, and his dick nudged against the student’s hip briefly before he dropped his head and began to pant shallowly, his knuckles brushed back and forth over Haru’s hardness – just lightly enough to drive him crazy.

“Nngh…fuck—what are you doing?” Haru whispered, flexing his fingers into Nagisa’s warm flesh.

“What does it feel like—ah…I’m doing, Haru?” Nagisa spoke lowly, his voice uneven.

“I don’t—“ Haru’s brow furrowed before thin fingers found his wrist and led his hand to wrap around the graduate’s own, which was presently busy pumping steadily over his own cock.

“Oh fuck,” Haru choked and pressed his head back against the mattress at the image he conjured of the petit blond pleasuring himself astride his hips, “T-this...this is cruel.”

“I—hah…I’m pretty s-sure you’re enjoying it,” Nagisa began to whimper, “Fuck, Haru…it feels good.”

Colors flashed behind Haru’s eyes and he growled, gripping Nagisa around his waist to knock him back against the bed roughly, finding the graduate’s lips with his own and grinding down against him.

Nagisa whined into Haru’s mouth and twisted one hand into black hair, throwing his legs around his waist and rutting up into him again and again with uncontrolled desperation.

“H-Haru!” Nagisa cried, “Shit…s-shit, you’re going to make me come.”

“Then come.” Haru urged with his lips against Nagisa’s neck.

“N-not yet. Ah!” The graduate protested, making no attempt to abate their movements, “You feel—fuck—so good.”

Haru tilted his hips downward, causing the friction between them to intensify as Nagisa began pleading with him not to stop.

Haru felt his own impending orgasm coiling low and tight in his abdomen, and just as he raised up to match the fervor of their grinding with their lips, a quiet whirring noise filtered through the apartment and Haru’s desk lamp flickered on, bathing the room in a soft yellow glow.

They both froze.

Haru blinked rapidly and pushed up onto his hands to look down at his boyfriend against the bed, both men panting heavily and wide-eyed as they gazed at each other.

Nagisa let out a slow exhale and dropped his hands from around Haru’s neck, resting them above his head and raising his chin to regard Haru with dark, heavy eyes.

The graduate’s small chest rose and fell with the waver of unfulfilled need, and a deep flush colored his face and traveled down his neck to the top of his shirt. The soft pink material, rucked up and disordered from their activities, dropped away from a creamy shoulder.

His cardigan had fallen away as well, and the pale skin of the top of an arm was exposed. Haru’s fingers were running over it gently before he realized he had even initiated the gesture.

Nagisa’s wet lips parted and his eyelashes fluttered at the soft touch. Haru slowly moved his hand to cup the side of a blushing cheek and drift the pad of his thumb beneath a shining eye.

“You’re beautiful.” Haru whispered, dazed in his admiration.    

The student let himself enjoy dizzily all the ways that statement fell woefully short and thumbed down over full lips, dipping into the warmth beyond while Nagisa closed his eyes. He nuzzled into the fingers against his cheek.

Pressing a sweet kiss to the pad of Haru’s thumb, Nagisa’s eyes slid open.

“Undress me.” He repeated; the words came out husky and raw, strange sounding as Haru watched them fall over his lips.

But Haru complied.

He slipped the cardigan the rest of the way off of Nagisa’s body before gliding his hands slowly up his torso; Nagisa sat up to assist in the removal of the shirt over his head and fell back against the bed.

Haru slipped off his own briefs and resumed his position over Nagisa. He held himself over the other’s body, unable to tear his gaze away – not that he actually wanted to. His eyes studied the graduate’s face, still flushed with a deep pink, and were ultimately drawn, as always, to his lips.

But he allowed his gaze to wander further, following the bloom of flush that glowed hot on pale skin.

Two fingers traced down the slope of his thin neck, the skin shifting with the bob of a thick swallow and Nagisa turned his head, pushing the back of his hand against his mouth and screwing his eyes shut while Haru’s fingers grazed down his collar bone and lingered over an erect nipple.  

Haru had often heard of the female flush – the reddening of skin over chests and shoulders during moments of intense sexual excitement – but he never imagined that a man could exhibit it to such a degree as what was displayed beneath his hands.

He looked so small and vulnerable; Haru obviously knew that his frame was slight, as he was able to carry and move Nagisa’s body with ease, despite the fact that Haru himself wasn’t that much bigger. Even if he did have a good four inches in height on the blond, Haru himself was thin, and not nearly as built as Makoto, or even as well-muscled as Rin.

Nagisa’s bones always seemed elegantly delicate under his skin, but, here, Haru was able to fully see how thin he truly was, how fragile – almost breakable – he actually appeared. It was often difficult to see through his powerful personality to notice the narrowness of his shoulders and slimness of his waist; he held himself with an air of prestige that would likely have any man or woman bending to his will.

“What?” Nagisa asked, breathlessly, “Y-you’re staring.” His voice wavered with his face turned away.

“I can’t help it. ” The words left Haru’s mouth before he had time to even consider them.

“It’s not like it’s the first time you’ve seen me.” Nagisa mumbled indignantly into his fingers.

“I haven’t seen you like this. I’ve…never seen anyone like this.”

That seemed to strike something in Nagisa and he shot the student an odd, uncharacteristically shy glance.

And then something occurred to Haru.

“I thought you said you couldn’t turn it off?” The student whispered with a soft smile, dropping his head to brush his lips against the other’s throat.

Nagisa shifted on the bed and drew his legs up around Haru’s waist, sliding his trembling hands into black hair to guide their lips together briefly.

“I wouldn’t be able to hide how I feel right now even if I wanted to.” The graduate admitted quietly, pressing his head back into the bed, “Trust me. I’ve been trying.”

“Why would you…ah…” Haru’s words fell away when Nagisa rocked up into him, their stiff, unclothed flesh sliding together for the first time in six days.

Haru closed his eyes when Nagisa did it again, his small hands dropping to the student’s waist to press them together more firmly.

They groaned in unison at the friction of their cocks between their warm bodies, and Haru felt Nagisa’s hand leave his hip and grope towards a pillow at the top of the bed. His fingers disappeared beneath and felt around while his dark, half-lidded eyes remained on Haru’s face.

Haru ground down and dropped his head to Nagisa’s shoulder, watching his hand move around underneath the pillow.

“Wha…what are you doing?” Haru breathed.

Nagisa’s hips stilled momentarily; he choked out a small sound of victory before extracting his hand and depositing the contents onto the comforter beside them and resuming the circuit of his hips.

Haru raised his head, panting and confused, “How…when did you…”

“Nngh—When you were s-seducing me with…baked goods,” Nagisa moaned into his explanation, “I di—shit—didn’t want…to chance that you…weren’t prepared.”

And Haru would have laughed if the graduate’s gravelly, pleasure-wilted tone didn’t shove him flush against the edge of orgasm. He abruptly pulled his hips away and slid down Nagisa’s body, who whined loudly at the loss of friction.

Eyeing the condom and small bottle of lube that Nagisa had covertly stowed in the bed, Haru settled between the graduate’s legs and dipped his head, dragging his tongue up and over Nagisa’s twitching cock. He couldn’t help the smile that pushed its way into his cheeks.

“You’re so weird,” Haru hummed into the side of Nagisa’s shaft, pinning him with a dark gaze as the graduate raised up onto his elbows with a wrecked look of pleasure tinting his face, “I love it…so much.” He added between slow sweeps of his tongue.

Nagisa’s eyes rolled up and he dropped back against the bed when Haru took his flushed tip into his throat, shaking hands tangling in black hair once again.

Haru pulled off, breathing hard, and crawled back up, crashing their lips together and pulling him up against his slick chest.

“How…” Haru began, his voice rough and deep against Nagisa’s mouth, “How…do we—“

“I’ve thought about nothing except having you inside of me for weeks,” Nagisa held Haru’s face between his hands, meeting his eyes, “My body wants you—“ He accentuates his words with a downward roll of his hips, “—like you wouldn’t believe.”

“But do you?” The mawkish words slid off his tongue and he immediately wished he could swallow them back. He blushed furiously, “I…” He swallowed and dropped his eyes, “I guess I’m starting to realize that there is a difference.”

Full lips curled into a smile against his own and Nagisa rocked back, pulling Haru down on top of him, “Every part of me wants you.” He said, searching the embarrassed student’s face.

Haru nodded and kissed him, gently at first, but soon Nagisa’s tongue was rolling against his own, licking into his mouth in a way that made his mind reel.

He reached behind him; Nagisa jumped at the snap of the lube cap cracking open. He was trembling beneath Haru despite the urgent roll of his hips and the widening of his thighs, seeking friction against Haru’s skin.

Haru’s own fingers were shaking as he drizzled them with the sticky liquid; his breathing was shallow and rough, and his heart was climbing, high and strong in his throat, but he supposed this was to be expected from him - he had never been in a situation quite like this before. Nagisa on the other hand…

“Are you alright?” Haru paused, leaning down onto an elbow and sharing the graduate’s air as they both huffed with anticipation.

A glimmer of a smirk worked its way onto Nagisa’s freshly-kissed lips and his eyes lidded heavily, peering at Haru from beneath thick lashes that were just way too dark for his pale hair and complexion, but not in a bad way.

Nothing about him was ‘in a bad way’.

“Of course,” His voice was subtle and sweet, gravelly, and he smoothed a hand encouragingly through Haru’s hair, “It’s just…sort of been a while. Keep going.”

Nagisa spread his legs further, planting a foot firmly against the bed with a bent knee, presenting himself for Haru and he looked _so good_ like that that Haru’s throat felt dry and his chest felt too tight and he almost forgot what he was supposed to be doing. He looked at his slicked fingers dumbly before reaching down, brushing his wrist down the underside of Nagisa’s cock and gingerly, for the first time, brushed the pad of his middle finger against Nagisa’s entrance.

And that’s when he felt it.

The change was subtle; in another life perhaps he wouldn’t have noticed. But having Nagisa beneath his hands – recognizing the power of his affections, the reason for his recently uncharacteristic behavior, the anxiety, the animalistic pull he felt towards this person since the night they met – he felt the tremor. The spasm in pale shoulders and the barely-detectable crinkle of his light brow. It was a change he could feel, almost rather than see. Like the mild discomfort felt when switching on the lights in a room – your body recognizing the sub-perceptual dimness before realizing that a single bulb among several has burned out. Or the pitch of an often-heard song bent so minutely that the dissonance crawls like a wounded moth in the pit of your stomach before you identify the source of your unease.

He felt the shift like a cool tendril in his chest. The pads of his fingers pressed against the slick skin of the man’s shoulders resonated with terse disquiet that emanated from deep within his body; an impression he could only confirm by splaying his hand out against the pinked flesh and dropping his head, pressing his lips to the graduate’s damp throat to feel the hitch of shallow breath, the inaudible curl of an abated cry.

The faint twitch of a delicate finger wound tight in black hair betrayed the upward jerk of slender hips when Haru’s fingers reached their destination, and the student pulled back to regard the face of the man beneath him.

The part in his full lips was an invitation, his lashes lowered in an unmistakable display of desire as Nagisa uncoiled his hands from Haru’s hair and dropped them gently down his arms, hitching his legs up the student’s back. His eyes were still darkened in the low light, an unmistakable sign of his lust.

“Haru.” He breathed, tracing his fingers back up his arms, slowly back up the side of Haru’s neck to wind again into his hair. The tug downwards was meant to distract Haru from what he had just come to understand, because where Haru was just discovering these new powers of perception, Nagisa was already a sensory god.

But in the intangibly brief moment in time that Nagisa allowed his control to falter, Haru had felt it. It was unmistakable. There exists no human emotion more true – more innately powerful. And not even a man so wholeheartedly dedicated to the knowledge of human interaction and emotion, someone so implicitly skilled at exerting ultimate control over his presentation, could evade it when it struck – robbing him, albeit momentarily, of his domination over his manner.

And, gazing down at the man he was falling for, his blond locks splayed against the pillow in an illustration of his angelic beauty, Haru’s heart seized as he realized that he had felt this change in him before. But only now was he able to identify it.

He found the bend in pitch, the dimness in Nagisa’s light.

This wasn’t just nervousness.

He swallowed.

 

It was fear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you feel that? Can you? Can you feel how much I hate myself right now?
> 
> P sure I promised some explicit sex in this chapter too, so yeah I'm a piece of shit.


End file.
